A 52-year-old Jersey City man has been accused of stabbing his 23-year-old girlfriend and baby mama in the face with a key while driving. Juan T. Irizarry has been charged with aggravated assault and two weapons offenses, for allegedly stabbing the girlfriend while their kids were in the car yesterday afternoon. more ›

Well, this is great: once those "magic key" holders get into the subway for free, they can take it all the way to your office building and unlock your elevator! They could be coming for you RIGHT NOW! The key, which has been sold for just $27 and can open 468 subway stations, works in "tens of thousands of buildings" with elevators, including every single commercial high-rise. City Councilman Peter Vallone said he was even more concerned about the key upon learning this. "We know terrorists are planning attacks on our subways and buildings, and we don't need to have keys that could help them in the wrong hands." more ›

In the Daily News, reporter Pete Donohue shows (off) a key that apparently opens all the gates in NYC's subway system. One man who bought his copy of the key from a MTA transit worker for just $27 said, "I've been saving a lot of money. There are 468 stations in the city and you can use it at any one of them... If you find an area that's not supervised by the police, you're in. It's like a key to the city." more ›

A level three sex offender who served 14 years for sexually abusing girls ages five to seven no longer holds the keys to 50 Manhattan apartments. Shortly after his release from prison in 2001 William Barnason was hired as the super for several Upper West Side buildings, where female tenants complained he tried to coerce them into sex-for-rent arrangements, but now he’s gotten the boot. “Mr. Barnason is no longer employed as the superintendent and will be moving out of the building he lives in the near future," said a lawyer for the child rapists’ employer. more ›

Now that everyone is paying attention to Javier Bardem and James Franco as they film scenes in Brooklyn, Gerard Butler's publicist is clearly leaking stories to the press as a reminder that he is also still in the borough making movie magic! The NY Post reports that he set for the new Jennifer Aniston film The Bounty (in which he co-stars) has been surrounded by paparazzi, and one bodyguard "allegedly flipped out and keyed a photographer's car—causing thousands of dollars in damage" to his 2003 Infiniti. The WireImage photographer was the victim of the East Flatbush incident, saying that he was "surprised that the community had my back." The guard was assigned to protect Gerard Butler, who is rumored to be dating Aniston; perhaps he was trying to stop the photog from taking this photo of Butler in flagrante delicto with another woman! more ›

The "owner" of the super-exclusive secret club El Baño, who mailed us a much-appreciated roll of toilet paper last week to promote the joke lounge (accessed through a sliding door in the stall of a locked bodega bathroom), has sent us an email expressing outrage that a fake club has been "mocking" El Baño. This one, which has a website bearing a striking resemblance to El Baño's site, is called El Evator. You can guess where it's located. At this point, the parody of a parody of pretentious clubland is starting to wear a bit thin, but we do love that El Evator is opening for Administrative Assistant Week. Says El Baño's unidentified owner/prankster, "I guess when you're the best of the best you pick up haters along the way." more ›

The current global food crisis signifies many things, including waning tolerance for exclusive, speakeasy-style bars. The newest, most secretest Lower East Side club of all, called El Baño, has all of the trappings of Marcel Duchamp readymade, only more scatological. From a post on Down By The Hipster last week, quoting the club's reps:

El Baño is a secret club, and like all things secret it's only known by few. more ›

Remy Ma, better known for her court hearings than for her Grammy nomination, is having trouble becoming "an honest woman," as the saying goes. The rapper was supposed to be married on Rikers Island yesterday to her fiancée Papoose -- but when her groom brought a questionable gift for his bride, the wedding was called off. more ›