Jamie Dimon is really sorry that his bank invested too heavily in Italian leather laptop tote bags, and though he's said as much many times since the world learned that JP Morgan lost $2 billion, he'll likely have to bust out his gilded apology-kneepads at the bank's annual shareholders meeting today in Tampa. The Times reports that despite the official line that the chief investment office alone got out of hand in ramping up riskier, high-yield trades, former and current employees describe an "increased appetite" for those trades by the bank's "upper echelons." Presumably the paper is referring to the top-secret memo from Dimon to his deputies entitled, "Braaaaiinnnss." more ›

After JP Morgan Chase publicly admitted that it lost $2 billion while executing various complicated bets (and counter bets) on credit derivatives, heads are rolling. Ina Drew, the Chief Investment Officer, is resigning today because her division oversaw the London office—which handles nearly $400 billion in trades— that made what CEO Jamie Dimon called "a terrible egregious mistake." Wait, actually the press release says Drew is "retiring," but let's face it—this $2 billion mistake has the potential to be a $4 billion mistake. We're guessing her retirement party's not going to be pouring top shelf champagne. more ›

There's no shortage of intelligent explanations of just exactly what went wrong at JP Morgan, but our favorite is the Times' quasi-flow chart that breaks it down for people who haven't done any math whatsoever since 2004. Who knew losing $2 billion could look so easy! more ›

Okay, so maybe there's a reason why women should just use investment bankers for expensive meals: It seems that they can be really awful boyfriends. For instance, there's the J.P. Morgan banker who cheated on his wife with a co-worker, only to follow the co-worker to London and stalk her. And then there's this alleged email from an investment banker who went on ONE date with a woman, "I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages... I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you." more ›

Expect to hear a bit more about Bernie Madoff this week. Under federal bankruptcy law Irving Picard, the trustee in charge of tracking down Madoff's many missing assets, has two years from the initial bankruptcy filing to file claims for recovery. Since Madoff's filing date is considered December 11, 2008, that means we should have a busy few days ahead of us. In the past week Picard has already sued JPMorgan for $6.4 billion, UBS for $2 billion and, yesterday, HSBC for another $9 billion bringing the total he is claiming on behalf of victims to more than $32 billion (including the 19 suits he's already filed). more ›

Bloomberg News reports that JPMorgan is giving all of its investment banking associates iPads in a pilot program. An internal memo said, "We believe there are real benefits in our working environment that can be realized using this device - as well as the personal productivity and enjoyment that come as part of the package," and an analysts think that this means trouble for Blackberry maker Research In Motion. One said, "There are two things attracting IT managers to the iPad: it’s easy to use and the price is pretty attractive relative to traditional notebooks." But the real question is: What's a good dwarf app? more ›

Fed up with name-calling and increased restrictions from the Obama administration, bankers are shifting financial support to Democratic opponents in the Republican party. Bank officials say Wall Street is sending a message: “The expectation in Washington is that ‘We can kick you around, and you are still going to give us money,’ ” one top official at a major Wall Street firm tells the Times. “We are not going to play that game anymore.” more ›

Fat cats live! According to Bloomberg News, "JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s investment bankers will begin getting more of their pay in salary next year and less in bonuses as the bank shifts the weighting to remain competitive with rivals, a person familiar with the firm said." The plan, which will go into effect next year, will affect employees "who earn half or more of their total compensation in year-end bonuses." However, total compensation won't change, because bonuses will go down. Bloomberg further explains, "JPMorgan... is seeking to keep pace with rivals that boosted salaries amid restrictions on bonuses, and make its compensation costs more predictable... Citigroup will raise base pay as much as 50 percent. Morgan Stanley said in May it will increase base pay for some executives, while UBS increased banker salaries by half." A pay consultant added, "Most of the major financial firms have suppressed base salaries for the last 10 years, so they were unduly low compared to where they were 15 years ago." Well, unduly low without bonuses. more ›

Yesterday, a construction safety coordinator filed a $20 million lawsuit, accusing her employer of ignoring reports of sexual harassment while working at a Park Avenue JPMorgan Chase building site. Bianca Wisniewski, a 43-year-old widowed mother of two, says she repeatedly fended off lewd advances from elevator operator Steve Greco in 2007. According to the suit, Greco's overtures included grabbing her around the waist and cooing, "I just want to take you to dinner, no fu*king," and "Everybody kisses engineer Steve. This is a man's world, not a place for women to work." The suit accuses LIC's Total Safety Consulting of ignoring her complaints, offering her job back but then rescinding the offer and replacing her with a man. Her lawyer says, "What I find atrocious is that here's a woman who was working in a job where we have... crane accidents and people dying, and she was in a position of authority to ensure safety. But when she reports a guy vilely hitting on her, instead of protecting her safety, they protect a scoundrel." None of the defendants in the lawsuit—JPMorgan Chase, Total Safety, Greco, and his union—have formally commented, but Greco told a Daily News reporter yesterday, "I don't know [Wisniewski]. I don't know what you're talking about." more ›

JPMorgan announced that its second quarter earnings grew to $2.7 billion, from $2 billion last quarter, thanks to investment banking and stock-and-bond underwriting. The NY Times reports, "The strong showing may put to rest some worries that the bank was allowed to pay back its $25 billion taxpayer investment too early, after it passed the Treasury Department’s stress test in May. But its quick resurgence in earnings, along with Goldman Sachs’s announcement of a $3.4 billion quarterly profit on Monday, is bound to raise fresh concerns about soaring pay levels and growing clout in Washington." That and now JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon "has recently been driving a hard bargain over the repurchase of warrants the government received last fall." Reuters also notes that the bank "said credit quality in consumer mortgages and credit cards is deteriorating faster than it expected" and Dimon expects to compete for banking talent (hello, big salaries). more ›

J.P. Morgan and Citigroup will not foreclose on homes for a little while, acting on Rep. Barney Frank's suggestion of a foreclosure moratorium earlier this week. According to the AP, J.P. Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon sent a letter of his company's intentions to stop new foreclosures on owner-occupied homes through March 6 while Citigroup will halt their "principle residence" foreclosures till March 12—which is about the time the Obama administration hopes to have clarity on its foreclosure prevention plan. Dimon wrote in his letter, "We stand ready to work with you to put the appropriate processes in place, including a national modification standard, to reduce the incidence of foreclosure and to encourage long-term, sustainable home mortgages." more ›

It's Michigan vs. Massachusetts--and we're not talking about the NBA Eastern Conference Finals! Those states' pensions funds are hoping to lead a lawsuit against Bear Stearns over its fall. The Sun reports it's likely Michigan will be the lead state, since its $62 million in losses (pension fund participants were state employees like teachers, judges and cops) are bigger than Massachusetts' $21 million. more ›

New York Federal Reserve Bank President Timothy Geither told lawmakers today, "What we were observing in U.S. and global financial markets was similar to the classic pattern in financial crises," as Federal Reserve officials defended why they helped JP Morgan rescue Bear Stearns from collapse. Fed chairman Ben Bernanke told the Senate Banking Committee, "Given the exceptional pressures on the global economy and financial system, the damage caused by a default by Bear Stearns could have been severe and extremely difficult to contain." more ›

With JP Morgan now offering $1.2 billion for troubled Bear Stearns, it's expected the deal will close on April 8. JP Morgan needed 50% of Bear Stearns shareholder approval, and the new $10/share price would give them 45% yes votes (5% is expected from bondholders); an analyst told USA Today the revised deal "virtually guarantees a yes vote at $10 per share, vs. an almost certain no vote at $2." more ›

The NY Times reports "JPMorgan Chase was in talks on Sunday night for a deal that would quintuple its offer for Bear Stearns...in an effort to pacify angry Bear shareholders." Over a week ago, JP Morgan had agreed to pay $2/share for Bear Stearns stock, for a total payout of $236 million, but the new talks would raise the price to $10/share, making it a billion-dollar deal. more ›

Although the stock markets didn't tank yesterday (the Dow was up 21 points), it was a volatile day as Wall Street reacted to the bargain basement sale of Bear Stearns to JP Morgan. Naturally, this means the first lawsuit has been filed on behalf of shareholders who claim the investment bank "made false statement about the firm's financial condition." more ›

This is going to be a tough morning on Wall Street. World financial markets fell and are falling after yesterday's news that JP Morgan had purchased Bear Stearns for $2 a share, a grand price of $236 million for a company valued at $3.54 billion on Friday. Tokyo's Nikkei 225 index fell 3.7%, and Hong Kong's Hang Seng fell 5.25%. Currnetly, London's FTSE 100 has fallen 2.2%, France's CAC 40 has fallen 2.5% and the German DAX has fallen 3.3%. more ›

Anthony Marshall has not only been indicted for alleged criminal mishandling of his mother Brooke Astor's estate - he's being called a "STONE COLD HEIR" by the Post for not properly maintaining his mother's grave. Ouch! A public spat with his own son over Astor's care led to an ultimate court settlement where Marshall ceded guardianship of Astor and her estate to JP Morgan Chase and Astor's friend Annette de la Renta. But after Astor... more ›

Dare we say that Brooke Astor is rolling in her grave? Yesterday, it was reported that her son Anthony Marshall and his former lawyer Francis Morrissey would be indicted for criminal activity over the handling of her will. And this morning, Marshall turned himself in at the Manhattan DA's offices, to face charges of fraud, forgery and grand larceny. Or, as DA Robert Morgenthau said, "The indictment charges that Marshall and Morrissey took advantage of... more ›

As the city and state start to get to work on West Side redevelopment, the Mayor said that one entity won't be getting tax breaks if it moves. Mayor Bloomberg was asked if Madison Square Garden would continue to get $10.9 million in tax breaks if it moves West to the Farley Post Office building (that's what a map in the draft Environmental Impact Statement notes). Bloomberg decisively said, "Not if I'm mayor they won't. Madison Square Garden isn't going to move, and there's no reason to justify that." more ›

After many attempts by World Trade Center developer Larry Silverstein and state officials to keep brokerage Merrill Lynch downtown, the NY Times reports the firm "appears ready" to move to a new, yet-to-be built skyscraper on Seventh Avenue between 32nd and 33rd Streets. more ›

"I feel I’m losing my mind. I wish I knew what was the matter with me. It would be better to die than go on feeling this way." more ›

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The Fire Department is investigating whether standpipes failed to bring firefighters water to help fight a seven-alarm fire that broke out on the 17th floor of the Deutsche Bank building on Saturday. The cause of the fire, which spread between the 14th and 26th floors of the lower Manhattan building, is also unclear, though the FDNY suspects it may have been caused by a cigarette or a faulty electrical panel. more ›

Maybe there is good reason to try to stay off Forbes' list of 400 wealthiest people. The Manhattan DA's office charged a 24-year-old Russian national with an elaborate identity ring that targeted rich Americans. more ›

After months of negotiations, JP Morgan Chase will announce plans to build a 42-story tower at Ground Zero. Government officials had been trying to entice the third-largest bank in the world to move downtown, as a sign the area would flourish once all the construction is complete. Chase wanted incentives and subsidies, much like the $650 million Goldman Sachs incentive deal, in order to be convinced to move downtown, but officials were wary. From the NY Times:

Officials in both the Spitzer and Bloomberg administrations have privately renounced the Goldman deal, blaming former Gov. George E. Pataki. They wanted to avoid similar recriminations in coming to an agreement with Chase. more ›

The demolition of the former Deutsche Bank building next to Ground Zero has been halted after officials are still unable to determine how a several-foot-long section of pipe fell from the deconstruction site and crashed through the roof of a neighborhing firehouse, injuring two firefighters. The incident occurred yesterday morning and investigators are still wondering how a 15-foot section of steam pipe from the irreperably damaged office tower fell through the roof of the firehouse, and two men inside suffered minor injuries. It does seem puzzling, since the 40-story office tower's been enshrouded in black netting since shortly after the 9/11 attacks.

“The Buildings Department will review the contractor’s means and methods to ensure that public safety is upheld,” said Kate Lindquist, a spokeswoman for the department, which issued a stop-work order yesterday and cited a subcontractor at the site, the John Galt Corporation, for failure to “safeguard the public and property.” She said the company could be fined up to $5,000.

Former president Bill Clinton announced the Clinton Climate Initiative during the C40 Large Cities Climate Summit yesterday. The CCI is an ambitious program to help 15 cities (Bangkok, Berlin, Chicago, Houston, Johannesburg, Karachi, London, Melbourne, Mexico City, Mumbai, New York, Rome, Sao Paulo, Seoul, Tokyo, and Toronto) renovate/retrofit buildings with more energy efficient products. Clinton has managed to get ABN AMRO, Citi, Deutsche Bank, JP Morgan Chase, and UBS to each put up $1 billion "to finance cities and private building owners to undertake these retrofits at no net cost, doubling the global market for energy retrofit in buildings." From the press release:

As part of the Energy Efficiency Building Retrofit Program, cities have agreed to develop a program to make their municipal buildings more energy efficient and provide incentives for private building owners to retrofit their buildings with energy saving technologies. The retrofit program will be consistent with, and work within, city procurement and tendering rules. Participation in the program will be open to local banks and companies, who will be invited to contribute to the funding pool and to expand the list of green products used in retrofits. This is the first of many programs that CCI is organizing with partner cities in the C40 Large Cities Climate Leadership Group, an association of large cities that have agreed to work together to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions.

Jeremy Olshan created this map, the Twin Towers Diaspora, which gives an interesting overview of where former tenants of the World Trade Center have moved after September 11, 2001. Some have stayed in Manhattan, but others have moved to the outer-boroughs and out of the state. You can click on the markers to see the company name and where the company was originally located in the WTC. more ›

A man was arrested for stealing $3.6 million - and the money was from a city bank account! Unemployed social worker Tracy Ball used the money to buy jewelry from TV-and-online retailer Jewelry Television; then he'd pawn the jewelry for cash to pay bills - and some other luxury items. When he was arrested at his Brooklyn home, the AP reported that investigator found him with "two huge plasma televisions, $35,000 in cash, and several expensive sport utility vehicles." more ›