Mayor Bloomberg was photographed yesterday wearing what appear to be hearing aids, but he refused to talk about the listening devices. While on a tour of the underground construction of the 7 train extension and later at a homeland security meeting, Bloomberg was spotted by the Daily News wearing flesh-colored devices in his ears that could be hearing aids, but also resemble ear plugs. Bloomberg—who turns 68 later this month—wouldn't talk about the hearing aids, and a mayoral spokesman declined to comment. According to 1010WINS, Bloomberg wasn't wearing anything in his ears at a press conference today, and when journalists asked him about hearing aids, he dodged the question, responding: "I couldn't hear what you had to say."
Bloomberg Won't Say If He Wears Hearing Aids
Fat Joke Costs Lawyer $2,500
Taking cheap shots at the overweight prosecutor in court can be costly: Defense lawyer Raphael Scotto, 62, has been fined $2,500 and barred from city administrative court for mocking husky prosecutor Victor Muallem and making other inappropriate remarks. According to court papers obtained by the Post, Muallem was squeezing between two desks during a sexual-harassment hearing when Scotto cracked, "Tough fit, there, huh?" Real mature.
Archbishop Dolan Makes Mother Joke
Last night was the annual Alfred E. Smith dinner, which attracts the powerful (last year, both Obama and McCain were there), and Archbishop Timothy Dolan made his first appearance poking fun at his mother, who was not in NYC but at home, "The real reason my mom is not here is she stayed at the Waldorf Astoria for the installation six months ago. This is a little embarrassing. The hotel won't let her back until she returns all the towels."
Letterman Apologizes To Palin (Again), This Time She Accepts
Last night, David Letterman apologized to Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for his questionable jokes about one of her daughters. He had initially apologized last week, but Palin still considered the remarks—which suggested that A-Rod might impregnate her daughter and that they should keep Eliot Spitzer away during the Palins' trip to NY—offensive and demanded that he "apologize to young women across the country [for contributing to a culture] that says it’s OK to talk about statutory rape...It's not cool; it's not funny."
Onion Writer's Joke Sparks eBay Bidding War!
Onion writer John Harris (pictured) is trying to sell an unspecified joke on eBay because he "can't find a contextual home" for it. The punchline is that bids have already soared to $365, despite his self-effacing sales pitch: "To be fair, it's less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that didn't make you barf, please continue reading. The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3x5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of respect." [Via The Comic's Comic]
Video of the Day: Obama and McCain Crack Wise at Alfred E. Smith Dinner
18 days until the election and one day after their final debate, Barack Obama and John McCain traded zingers at the 63rd Annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, held at The Waldorf-Astoria last night. (The Daily News says the event raised $2.5 million, which goes toward underprivileged children.)
Seinfeld, Responding to Lawsuit, Says It Was Just a Joke
Lawyers for Jerry Seinfeld insist the comic was just joking when he described "Sneaky Chef" author Missy Chase Lapine as a "wacko" for accusing his wife of plagiarism. Lapine is currently suing for trademark infringement because she says Jessica Seinfeld’s hit book about sneaking healthy food into kids’ snacks, called "Deceptively Simple," contains too many similarities to "Sneaky Chef" – and it was published by HarperCollins, who twice rejected Lapine’s pitch.
Knicks Trade "Joke" Scares Phoenix Player
Some L.A. Lakers fan (we assume) came up with a brilliant plan to psych out Phoenix Suns guard Leandro Barbosa last week. Barbosa fell victim to a hoax where his hotel gave him a message saying that Suns GM Steve Kerr wanted to meet him to discuss a trade to the New York Knicks. Jeez, that's maybe the meanest prank call we've ever heard!

