Perhaps it's nice to know that life for a young adult in some parts of suburban America is so uneventful that it's still necessary to devise stupid pranks to alleviate the boredom. But it's even nicer to know that other young adults who have jobs and bills to pay aren't having it. Our hero for today is this New Jersey McDonald's employee, who refuses to enable the idiotic act of "coning," wherein a customer at a drive-thru window grabs an ice cream cone by the ice cream, instead of the cone. more ›

Chalk up another victory in the War on Drugs: 130 pounds of high-grade marijuana with a street value of $650,000 was seized by plainclothes DEA agents trailing two cars with New York plates in Westwood, New Jersey last night. Gee, a couple more big busts like these and victory over drugs will be all but assured! The key to winning this particular battle was apparently the contraband's odor; a Bergen County police chief tells NJ.com, "officers detected a very intense odor of raw marijuana inside one of the vehicles." more ›

An Upper West Side physics professor wasn't too bright when he registered the domain for a prostitution website, prosecutors say. David Flory, 68, who teaches at Fairleigh Dickinson (heh) University in New Jersey, was charged with 40 counts of promoting prostitution this week in connection with the website "Southwest Companions," which connected men with prostitutes in New Mexico (where Flory has a vacation home). Prostitutes-turned-informants tipped off investigators that the site was owned by a David Flory of New York, and NorthJersey.com reports that Flory "used his university e-mail address to start the site, which helped police identify him." more ›

A time-honored tradition of getting irreparably blazed before the senior prom went horribly awry for a group of teens in Glassboro, New Jersey on Friday night. Five friends were gathered in a silver dodge Intrepid driven by one regally-named King M. Seals, 18. But despite his magisterial moniker, Seals seems to have exercised poor judgment in failing to adequately hotbox the Intrepid, and the pungent scent of marijuana smoke wafting from the vehicle caught the attention of one Patrolman Ron Marchese. And everything went sideways from there. more ›

It seems an intimate moment in a New Jersey cemetery was spoiled earlier this week by a falling tombstone. Capt. James Stevens of the Hamilton Township police tells the Star-Ledger that a sunset encounter was rudely interrupted just before 7 p.m. when a tombstone fell on a 39-year-old woman's leg. Stevens decorously told reporters the victim was engaged in "extracurricular activities" with an unidentified man, which the Star-Ledger interprets as "sexual activity." Come on you two, get a crypt! more ›

Most of us at one time or another have gazed longingly down a dark subway tunnel during an interminable wait and thought, "I'd probably get there faster if I just walked it." In the other trespassing-transit-tunnels scare, a Bayonne, New Jersey man decided to do just that yesterday, and strolled from the World Trade Center PATH station to Jersey City. The Post reports that Reymundo Rodriguez, 20, went the entire two miles without getting killed or noticed, until a Port Authority contractor spotted him exiting around 3 a.m. and called the cops. Asked by the contractor what he was doing, Rodriguez replied, "The train never came... so I decided to walk." But when the cops caught up with him, they say he inexplicably told them, "I just put a bomb down on the tracks." more ›

Jeffrey Muller, 61, of Newton, New Jersey was happily working in his pet store one day last January when some goons burst into his store and abducted him. The perpetrators were out to collect money from some deadbeat who allegedly owed $500,000 to another guy because of a failed golf course development deal in Utah. But they got the wrong guy! They were looking for another Jeffrey Muller, the millionaire New York money broker. Obviously, these kidnappers were not golfers. more ›

'Tis the season for Republican presidential hopefuls to spuriously deny that they are interested in becoming the President of Losing to Obama in 2012. But no one can out-hyperbole New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who for the second time on Wednesday told journalists that "short of suicide, I don't really know what I'd have to do to convince you people that I'm not running. I'm not running." Someone should confiscate the Governor's Dashboard Confessional CDs. more ›

All it took to get the media into scaremongering overdrive about "vodka eyeballing" was one young British woman who hurt her eye pouring booze into it for kicks, plus some European YouTube videos. So now that a New Jersey high school student drank soda with a classmate's feces mixed in, we can't wait to learn more about this scary new trend! (We're sure there are YouTube videos, but we're scared to look.) We hear the teens call it "Dr. Pooper," but it's also known as "Dew the Poo." Do YOU know how many cans of human feces YOUR CHILD will pound this weekend? more ›

After previously approving a New Jersey motorist's personalized BIOCH license plates, a single complaint from a retired uptight cop has prompted the DMV to take the BIOCH back. Manville's Kim Romano was so shocked when her BIOCH plates were approved four years ago that she even called the DMV to make sure they knew the word was slang for "affluent Garden State housewife." Romano claims the DMV assured her they knew all about BIOCHes, supposedly telling her, "Congratulations, you're the first ‘bioch’ in New Jersey." more ›

One Keith Simmonds Jr. was arrested in New Jersey Sunday night after cops found marijuana in his vehicle. But Simmonds wasn't about to go out like that, and hatched an ingenious plan to stymie police. After getting cuffed and placed in the back of the squad car, Simmonds "managed to move his handcuffed arms to the front of his body, kick out the side window of the patrol car and escape while officers used a drug-detection dog to search his car," sources tell the AP. It's unclear where he went from there, but when the cops caught him again, his fingertips were bloody—they say he was trying to remove of his fingerprints with his teeth! Either that, or he was gripped by the worst munchies ever. more ›

Six members of the Sigma Gamma Rho sorority at Rutgers have been arrested on charges of aggravated hazing. One unidentified woman tells the Star-Ledger she was struck 201 times with a wooden paddle during pledge week, and "on the eighth day—unable to sit, her buttocks covered with blood clots and welts—she went to the hospital." The woman says, "They told us there was no hazing, that they didn’t believe in it." But then the paddles came out, each one a foot long and six inches wide. Police say at least three women reported injuries and bleeding, but one pledge puts the number at seven. In response, Rutgers immediately suspended Sigma Gamma Rho, an African-American sorority founded in 1922. more ›

It's bad enough that yesterday's loss to the Colts brought an abrupt end to NYC's dream of living vicariously through New Jersey, but for one poor Jets fan, the agony of defeat was prefaced by the sting of electricity. There is no video (yet), but police say Patrick Mallon, 26, was belligerent and threw beer at Colts fans outside Indianapolis stadium. He was charged with disorderly conduct and public intoxication at a tailgate party, which is like getting a speeding ticket at the Indy 500. But witnesses say cops used excessive force, and Mallon's father is a criminal defense lawyer, so you can guess where this is going. more ›

Most Phish fans sneak a little grass into concerts in their underwear, but during the band's tour-opening show at Fenway Park on May 31st, Yankee fan Ian Ferris took it a step further: As payback for the Red Sox fan who tried to curse the Bronx Bombers by dropping a Sox jersey into wet concrete during construction of the new stadium, Ferris tried to seed the Fenway infield with grass seeds sold at Yankee Stadium. Once inside, Ferris, who manages a Hooters in Vermont, filled the bag of seeds with water and tossed it onto the infield. He tells the Post, "This is payback. If even one blade of grass sprouts on the field, I feel it was a success." It's important to have ambitions in life, but Gino Castignoli, the construction worker who buried the Red Sox jersey at Yankee Stadium, says Ferris's pitiful little gesture is futile: "My curse is working. It's typical of a Yankee fan to think you can buy a jinx in a bag. When will they learn, you don't win with your wallet but with your heart?" It's a safe bet that Castignoli also thinks Phish sucks, and Panic rules. more ›

Like other classy gentlemen, 39-year-old Luis Lora-Martinez liked to impress the erotic dancers at AJ's Lounge in Secaucus by tipping them with 20 dollar bills. But Lora-Martinez's tips were actually forgeries, according to Secret Service agents who arrested him after employees at the strip club called the police. It seems Lora-Martinez never watched a little movie called To Live and Die in L.A.—which shows how labor-intensive the counterfeiting process actually is—because his fake bills were produced on a computer printer on regular paper. But according to The Jersey Journal, his funny money was good enough to fool the dancers for a little while, at least. When they wised up, they directed investigators to his motel room, where they found $5,000 in fake $20s and $50s stashed away. He now faces up to ten years in prison, and will only be released on bail if he can prove he has $60,000 in non-computer printer bills. more ›

Vendors at the Hunts Point wholesale produce market, located on 125 acres of city-owned land in the South Bronx, have said they will consider leaving the site for points “north or west” because the city is not cooperating with their expansion needs. According to the AP, the market supplies 3.3 billion pounds of fruits and vegetables a year, mostly to restaurants and small grocers. more ›

The Red Sox jersey that was buried under cement and then excavated from the new Yankee Stadium was presented to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston today. more ›

In spite of threats from the Yankees front office, the Bronx DA's office won't prosecute the construction worker who buried a Red Sox jersey in the new Yankee Stadium. more ›

Leaving no potential curse to chance, the Yankees had the Red Sox jersey (allegedly) buried in cement at the new Yankee Stadium removed with great fanfare in front of press yesterday. The David Ortiz jersey, buried by a Yankee-hating construction worker, was found thanks to a $50,000 excavation in the future behind-home-plate restaurant. more ›

We talked to someone who was at the Knicks game in Boston Thursday night and he told us he saw something he'd never seen at a sporting event before––a fan ripping off his team's jersey and throwing it onto the court in disgust. The Boston crowd loved it. The gesture came as the Knicks were trailing the Celtics by 50 points in what would come as the team's second-worst scoring performance in the history of... more ›