Finally, an answer to the age-old question: why are kids so fat these days? Because...[drum roll please]...schools aren't providing enough physical education.
This Is Why We're Fat: Public Schools Failing Gym Class
Video: Beyonce Crashes Gym Class At PS 161 In Harlem
Yesterday afternoon, the students at PS 161 in Harlem were in for a bootylicious surprise during their PE class, when none other than Beyonce herself stopped by the gymnasium to dance to her song "Move Your Body" with them (in four-inch heels, no less). Looking fine while shaking in her tailfeather in an all-white getup, Miss B is clearly having a good time, and the kids are nothing short of thrilled.
Entire Queens School Forgets That Gym Is A Requirement
Students at the Robert F. Wagner Jr. Secondary School in Long Island City are furious at Principal Bruce Noble for forgetting to schedule organized dodgeball torture gym as a class—a requirement for graduation in the city. “A school can’t forget to give a class. It’s their responsibility,” one student told CBS 2. But if the seniors and other teachers are so smart, how come nobody realized that they weren't taking gym?
Parents Upset Over Popcorn Sales for Gym Credit
Both parents and local lawmakers are outraged over New Design High School's program allowing students to work the concessions stand at the Rooftop Films festival for gym credit. Though one student said it was because the school would rather students spend time on their studies, one PS 290 mother said, "If that ever happened in my son's school, I would boycott the school. Taking care of your heart and your body is just as important as math and English." Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer also spoke out against the school, saying, "Unless students are using popcorn to shoot hoops, you have to go to gym class." Quick, tell everyone that's what they've been doing the whole time and call it a day!
Students Get Gym Credit For Selling Popcorn
Running laps and doing sit ups is really just not interesting enough to keep high schoolers coming back to gym class, so the New Design High School on the Lower East Side has offered students an easier way to earn gym credit—sell soda and popcorn to filmgoers! For every Friday or Saturday night students volunteer at the concessions stands at the Rooftop Films festival, of which New Design is one of 10 venues, they can earn up to seven hours of gym credit! Cue Bloomberg's ban of film festivals in 3...2...1...
Gym Class in...
Gothamist first saw Gym Class back in August at Pianos. We can't remember who we originally went there to see, but we remember Gym Class. They had faux hawks. They played edgy synth rock that made us tap our feet (the equivalent to dancing in these parts). We imagine that if heaven and hell existed, and it existed as multi-leveled notes and chords played in the 1980's, 1990's and 2000's simulatenously...and they crashed together...Gym Class would be comprised of its apocolyptic fragments. Stop, don't think about it, keep reading...

