Back in the day, you could learn how to make pizza with a minimum-wage job in a dead-end suburban town. But these days, if you want to do it right, you apparently have to sign up for a five-day, $2,800 "Pizza School" conveniently located in...Staten Island.
Staten Island Pizza School Offering $2,800, Five Day Course In Advanced Pizza-Making
"Goodfellas" Gang Members Accused Of Very Poor Gun-Stashing Acumen
Nineteen alleged members of the “Goodfellas” gang in Harlem have been arrested for smuggling guns and stashing them in every conceivable place they could find, including gutters, mailboxes, roofs, and under stoops. All 19 were charged with conspiracy, and some were also charged with weapons possession, firearms trafficking and attempted murder. “With today’s law enforcement action, we believe we have dismantled one of Central Harlem’s most violent and destructive street gangs,” said Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance, Jr.
They Don't Whack 'Em Like They Used To: Bronx Mob Hit Fails
What with all the massive busts and small-time stabbings, the mob just ain't what it used to be. Nowadays nobody takes any pride in their work, as evidenced by a recent Albanian mob hit gone awry in the Bronx. According to the Post, Bajram Lajqi was upset at an associate who had helped him smuggle drugs so Lajqi set out kill the man as he left the Tosca Cafe. After he and a partner slashed their target's tires, the plan was to wait for him to leave the restaurant and quietly kill him before he could escape. At the last second Lajqi felt this wasn't an inspired enough plan, and ended up punching him in the face in the restaurant. A punch? Where's the ice pick? Where's the head-in-the-vice?
DSK's House Arrest House Has "Rhinestone-On-Velour" Scarface, Goodfellas Posters
Sure, you've seen the staged real estate listing photographs of 153 Franklin Street, also known as maison d'alleged sexual assaulter and ex-IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn. But have you seen the "rhinestone-on-velour" Scarface and Goodfellas posters inside? Pitchfork Reviews Reviews did and writes, "So Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the Jew who may have just temporarily dislodged Benjamin Netanyahu to become the #1 worst contributor to the public image of Jews worldwide, is on house-arrest in a $14,000,000 house with pretty big rhinestone-on-velour pictures of Scarface and Goodfellas inside it. There is some deeper meaning to be extracted from this I think, but I don’t know how to phrase it."
Former Sopranos Actor Pleads Guilty To Realistic Acting Extortion
Actor Anthony Borgese pled guilty today to extorting a debtor who was beaten by mob goons. Borgese, who uses the stage name Tony Darrow, faces up to 41 months in prison for intimidating an upstate car dealership whose owner had sought Borgese's help in collecting the debt.
The Tombs: "Private Club" For Some "Orthodox Jewish Jailbirds"
The Post follows up its awesome story about how the Tombs—you know, the Manhattan Detention Complex—hosted one inmate's son's bar mitzvah party—complete with knives!— by saying the correction facility "was like a 'private club' for a group of Orthodox Jewish jailbirds, whose politically connected prison-chaplain rabbi regularly treated them to feasts of roast beef, salmon and chicken with all the trimmings." The Post also got hold of a corrections memo which read, "The inmates are untouchable. When it comes to the Jewish inmates, all rules are put aside."

