Comedian Mark Malkoff may be the next Ralph Nader. From visiting all of Manhattan's 171 Starbucks, to living in a New Jersey IKEA, to beating a crosstown bus in a race (on a Big Wheel!), he's a consumer advocate on a mission. In his latest effort, Malkoff endeavors to test the mettle of the ever-so-patient Apple staff at stores in the New York area. Watch him enjoy a romantic date with his wife, get his iPhone fixed as Darth Vader, and bring a handsome-looking goat into the Apple store at 67th & Broadway.
Video: Yes, You Can Bring A Goat Into The Apple Store
Goat Bloodies Weiner
A mohair goat speared Rep. Anthony Weiner during a press conference today, nicking his right hand with one of its pointy, foot-long horns and drawing blood. Weiner was holding the goat while speaking to reporters in a park near the Rayburn House Office Building in D.C., and at press time it seems his injuries are non-life threatening. In fact, according to The Hill, he doesn't even need stitches. But the incident highlights the risks of using live animals as props for publicity stunts. (Maybe Weiner should stick to models.)
MoCCA Festival Attracts City's Comic Fans (Photos)
The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art's Festival took place this weekend at the Lexington Armory, drawing successful and startup comic artists, writers and enthusiasts from all around the area. Big name artists like Michael Kupperman, Jon Rosenberg of Goats and Chris Hastings of Dr. McNinja were in attendance. However, the festival welcomed all types interested in comic art. Publishers like IdiotsBooks were there, and TV on the Radio singer Tunde Adebimpe even made an appearance at the sketch table!
Why Are Goats Roaming the Hutchinson Parkway?
Another goat has been found wandering around near the Hutchinson River Parkway in the Bronx, the third such incident this summer. City Room reports that the goat, a brown male Nubian believed to be about a month old, was at death's door with pneumonia when it was discovered on Tuesday wandering around a nursing home near where the parkway intersects with Interstate 95. Employees corralled the goat, and it was taken in by Farm Sanctuary in Watkins Glen, N.Y., where it's still quite ill, but expected to survive. The location where the goat was found is not far from where two other goats were found wandering in late July. Richard Gentles at Animal Care & Control tells the Daily News that he doesn't know why the area is so popular with goats, but speculates that "someone owns them and are keeping them in their backyards." (That's illegal in New York City.) And Farm Sanctuary's director believes the Hutchinson River Parkway "has become something of an 'underground railroad' for goats looking to escape New York City's live markets with their lives."
Cops Get the Runaway Goats, See
On Tuesday the city was not gripped by reports that two drifter goats were wandering along the New England Thruway by the Hutchinson River Parkway junction. The city's Animal Care and Control agency rushed to the scene, but by the time they arrived the goats had mysteriously vanished. But yesterday they appeared again, and the NYPD’s emergency services unit helped take them into custody. But where did they come from? A spokesman for Animal Care and Control tells City Room, "Typically, when you have goats or farm animals, they’ll have a tag on them or there will be a number spray-painted on them." These goats—one male and one female, both about a year old—had no numbers, though they are "pretty friendly and pretty used to people." They're being held at Animal Care and Control’s shelter in Manhattan, and if no one steps forward to claim them (are you listening, Cabrito?), they'll be taken in by Farm Sanctuary's 150-acre shelter in upstate New York. But really, how are they gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen the Hutch?

