Big day for presidential news on the right today! Not only is non-candidate New Jersey Governor Chris Christie endorsing Massachusetts man Mitt Romney but the Mayor of 9/11 Town himself has chosen today to make a very special election 2012 announcement of his own. Y'all ready for this? Rudy Giuliani is not going to run for president. more ›

Yesterday, a panel of doctors who are charged with reviewing preventative medicine ruled that a blood screening for prostate cancer, the second deadliest cancer, is unnecessary. This is mostly because people don't like to be told they have cancer, especially with the treatment and biopsies that occur after a positive result: 5,000 men died after surgery, and up to 70,000 had "serious consequences" after the biopsy, in addition to the 300,000 who experienced impotence or incontinence from 1985 to 2005. The doctor who developed the test has called it a "public health disaster." But Rudy Giuliani tells the Post that the test saved his life: "I believe it's the reason I'm alive. It's really a mistake to move away from this. It's very dangerous." Well, that settles it! more ›

Mayor Bloomberg may have plenty of patience to go through a few swatches to get the PERFECT color of drapes, but he will not tolerate the return of the indigent squeegee men. "The police department has a lot to do, but we're not walking away from squeegee guys when they rear their heads…with their buckets and sponge," he said. Well! See if we ever give his Gulfstream a shine again. more ›

Former NYPD Police Commission Bill Bratton, who was hired under Mayor Giuliani and is widely credited with stemming the city's reputation for crime through the broken-window theory and Compstat, has been appointed as an unpaid "consultant" to Scotland Yard. Bratton was personally chosen by British Prime Minister David Cameron, who told Parliament that the UK "should be looking beyond our shores to learn the lesson from others," with regard to the widespread rioting that has gripped London in recent days. "He thanked me for accepting the engagement," Bratton told the Daily News, "I thanked him for the opportunity." more ›

Cross-dressing, bloody shirt-waving, friend of felons Rudolph Giuliani will visit New Hampshire for the second time in 30 days to "meet with newspaper editors and supporters" in advance of a possible 2012 presidential run, the Post reports. The Mayor of 9/11 Town seems emboldened by recent polling that put him atop of other potential GOP candidates, such as Mitt "Just Plain Vanilla For Me, Thanks" Romney and Sarah "Rambette: Blood Libel" Palin. more ›

Mayor of 9/11 Town Rudy Giuliani hasn't officially thrown his hat into the Republican 2012 presidential nominees ring yet, but he's already leading the anemic pack! According to a new CNN poll today, Giuliani is the top candidate among potential 2012 GOP candidates—although the larger story is how ridiculously unenthusiastic voters are about all the potential candidates, ever since titan of combover industries dropped out of his fake presidential run. more ›

Breaking an agonizing twelve hour silence, Rudy Giuliani has at last commented on the killing of Osama bin Laden. Speaking to Politico this morning, the mayor of 9/11 Town praised President Obama for ordering the mission. He also stressed that Obama's predecessor, George W. Bush, deserves some of the credit for the mission. But in an admirable display of modesty, Giuliani didn't explicitly identify himself as the one killed bin Laden—he says he was sitting at home reading with Fox News on for company when news of bin Laden's death broke. more ›

Tell us a story about 9/11, Rudy! No, not The Pet Goat—we already know how that one ends! We want to hear our favorite fantasy story about World Trade Center Building 7, where the crazy bald King of 9/11 Town lost his emergency throne! Is it really true the King and his men destroyed the building themselves in a controlled demolition? And where did the debris go? "Oh all right," the retired 9/11 King told the students at the University of Arkansas, "Once upon a time, there was a place in America called Staten Island." Watch the video below and see Rudy Giuliani invoke this magical land after being pressed to reveal the truther about WTC Building 7: more ›

After listening to Rudy Giuliani talk for ninety minutes at the University of Arkansas Sunday night, the former Mayor of 9/11 Town opened the floor to questions. And people were still awake to ask them! One woman, in particular, had some very urgent inquires about WTC Building 7, which was destroyed on 9/11. As you may recall from reading the 1,000-plus comments on this story, some people believe the building—where Giuliani had his emergency command center—did not collapse on its own, but instead had help from shadowy government operatives who brought it down in a controlled demolition. more ›

Bernard Kerik, the disgraced NYPD Commissioner under Rudy Giuliani, will not be seeing the outside of his minimum-security prison any time in the near future. Today a three-judge appeals panel considered the "fairness" of Kerik's four year sentence and found no reason to overturn it. Kerik’s lawyers had argued that Judge Stephen C. Robinson's four-year sentence "had been unreasonable and showed judicial bias," alleging that Robinson "took offense" at Kerik's criticism of prosecutors. But the appeals court found that rich: more ›

Former mayor Rudy Giuliani was in New Hampshire last night, speaking at a Manchester Republican fundraiser and, surprise, surprise, criticizing President Obama. According to Concord Monitor, the Mayor of 9/11 had a field day calling Obama's foreign policy actions weak, noting that when France proposed instituting a no-fly zone, "Our president, the leader of the free world, said, 'A what? That's hard! A no fly zone is r-r-r-really hard!' Can we stand two more years of this? We have to. Can we stand six more of this? We don't have to. It's up to you, and it's up to me. It's up to the Republican Party.... This president has been a failure in just about everything he's done." more ›

In its recap of Glee, Arts Beat wrotes, "Chris Colfer’s recreation of 'Le Jazz Hot' from 'Victor/Victoria'... was a daring moment for the show and one of the bolder bits of transvestism since Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani popped up in that same musical." Which brings us to the NY Times' coverage of that 1997 moment: "No one was fully prepared for the sight of New York City's brawling Mayor as he tottered onto the New York Hilton stage Saturday night in high heels, a full-figured spangled pink gown, a platinum-blond wig and several pounds of makeup..." more ›

For all those who might have forgotten Rudolph Giuliani was mayor on September 11th, 2001, the everlasting King of 9/11 Town has published an Op-Ed in the Daily News today, reminding everyone that you don't get to build a mosque near Ground Zero without his approval. Giuliani frames the outrage over the proposed Islamic community center as a matter of "sensitivity," and writes, "I cannot help but feel that the painful debate we're having today is not a sign of weakness or intolerance. It is a sign of resilience and strength." more ›

According to a Marist Poll, New Yorkers may like Bloomberg more than they let on. The survey [PDF] says, "a plurality of registered voters citywide—38%—say Bloomberg has been the best mayor for New York City in three decades," and 56% of New Yorkers think he is doing well in office (down from his January 69% ratings). So what were the criteria? more ›

Yesterday the Defense Department released the Obama administration's Nuclear Posture Review [pdf], which outlines the United States' "nuclear policy, strategy, capabilities and force posture for the next five to ten years." The new strategy asserts that the U.S. will not use nuclear weapons on any nonnuclear state, which of course does not include Iran and North Korea—nations the administration is now calling "outliers" instead of "rogue states." China and Russia are also on the list for nuclear attack. There's a lot to pore through in the 50-page report, but former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, with all the regularity of a well-fibered colon, was at the ready with a fearmongering soundbite: more ›

A Brooklyn family has filed a claim of notice that they plan to sue the City, after 14-year-old Matthew Alba (pictured) received a broken wrist and a cut chin allegedly at the hands of a dean at PS 369 in Downtown Brooklyn. In a one-sided account, Matthew Alba told the NY Post that he had arrived at detention when an assistant dean "went ballistic" on him and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly for three minutes as he berated the young teenager.

"He said, 'You ain't gonna be nothing. You ain't gonna go nowhere. You're gonna be here your whole life.' " more ›

Yesterday, Senator John McCain was welcomed and endorsed by President Bush. Bush referenced McCain's doubters and past history, "John showed incredible courage and strength of character and perseverance in order to get to this moment. And that's exactly what we need in a President: somebody that can handle the tough decisions; somebody who won't flinch in the face of danger." more ›

The Village Voice has taken a page from MTV and begun to invade the cribs of rock stars. Okay, indie rock stars...who haven't quite broken out of their downtown bubble yet. more ›

CNN, NBC, and the AP are projecting Senator John McCain will clinch the Republican presidential campaign, after winning the primaries in Texas, Ohio, Vermont and Rhode Island and clinching the 1,191 delegates needed. A source tells NBC that President Bush has invited McCain to the White House tomorrow and will endorse him. McCain will be having a victory party in Dallas tonight, complete with banner that says "1,191." more ›

In between campaign stops for March 4th primaries, Hillary Clinton put on a happy face about the recent Saturday Night Live skits that aired during the show's return last week, adding that "it's so nice to be a fashion icon at my age" (video here). Last night the SNL troupe was at it again with an opening skit that mirrored last week's. As Clinton (Amy Poehler) faced off with Obama (Fred Armisen), it became less clear who SNL might be supporting; their Fauxbama is pretty lifeless: more ›

After years of warnings, the city's Off Track Betting business may be out of luck as Mayor Bloomberg said the city may pull its funding and let the gambling business close. He told the OTB Board of Directors, "The City simply cannot take dollars away from schools and hospitals to pay for a gambling operation. We have no business subsidizing betting parlors at the expense of City taxpayers, particularly at a time when we're asking all agencies to cut their budgets." And what's more, the board agreed and approved the shutdown! more ›

It's another Tuesday test of candidates' appeal as D.C., Maryland and Virginia have primaries today. Both the Republicans and Democrats have primaries those three states, but most attention is being focused on the battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, who are just about neck-and-neck in terms in delegate totals. more ›

Yet another example of foot-in-mouth syndrome due to the hours of punditry on TV, followed by an apology and suspension! Yesterday, while referring to Chelsea Clinton's campaigning on behalf of her mother, MSNBC correspondent David Shuster commented, "Doesn't it seem as if Chelsea is sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?" Yes, he totally said that. Or, as the Washington Post's Howard Kurtz writes, "Using a prostitution metaphor for the daughter of a presidential candidate is a surefire way for a journalist to get into trouble." more ›

For those of you that still collect baseball cards (are there any left), be on the lookout for a joke card from Topps. The card manufacturer of our childhood, Topps is sneaking in a card with the former mayor and Yankees fan as a member of the Red Sox. You ask, "'But that's just nuts! He's a Yankees fan through and through! Why would Topps do such a thing?'" Well, because Rudy said in October that he was actually rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series. more ›

John McCain's Straight Talk Express headed into Manhattan today, taking him to Grand Central Terminal where he got the endorsement of former governor George Pataki. McCain, along with wife Cindy, appeared with Pataki, Alphonse D'Amato, Joseph Lieberman and Rudy Giuliani as the Republican candidate appears to be leading in many Super Tuesday polls over rivals Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul. more ›

Earlier this week, the Post reported that "high-profile" Bronx Republican Fred Brown, who is a GOP district leader in the Bronx and votes there, actually lives in Battery Park City in lower Manhattan. Which means he's been voting in the Bronx illegally. Now, the Bronx's DA's office is investigating the matter. more ›

Rudy Giuliani may have exited the presidential campaign, but that doesn't mean he's disappeared. For starters, we hope those Rudy Giuliani campaign staffers who gave up their paychecks feel good about this: According to the Washington Post, Giuliani's campaign paid his firm Giuliani Partners $60,000 in rent and paid Giuliani Security & Safety $300,000 for security. We don't understand why he stopped running - it's a perfect way to convert donations into revenue! Well, his lawyer told the WaPo that Giuliani "recused himself from taking profits. His portion would be donated to charity." more ›

Rudy Giuliani's poor showing in the presidential campaign has plenty of people giving their opinions on why it all went wrong. more ›

The former mayor is finally out of the hunt for the White House. Rudy Giuliani made the announcement at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in California, with John McCain beside him. Giuliani endorsed McCain, saying the country needed "someone who can be trusted in times of crisis." He added, "Obviously I thought I was that person. The voters made another choice." more ›