Because our commander-in-chief is a Godless heathen who hates Christmas almost as much as he hates the free market, President Obama coordinated tonight's three-stop campaign visit with the Rockefeller Center tree lighting to cause maximum anguish to New Yorkers. According to "Gridlock" Sam Schwartz, this means the "FDR Drive, West Midtown, UES, [East] Village all subject to freezes" between 5-11 p.m. this evening. This excludes the "freezing" of 6-year-old Samantha Jenkins' heart when the President will tell her "Santa isn't real," before slipping an illustrated copy of Das Kapital in her Dora the Explorer backpack. more ›

Barack Obama and his erstwhile Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton will be in New York City this week to host three fundraisers, with the joint purposes of getting Obama elected President and paying off Clinton's campaign debts. Get out those checkbooks because both will be pricey endeavors. more ›