Hiram Monserrate is many things: An ex-cop, an ex-City Council member, an ex-State Senator, a convicted girlfriend slasher, and a subject of a federal corruption investigation. And now he's a legal bill deadbeat. His defense lawyer, celebrity lawyer Joseph Tacopina, says that Monserrate hasn't paid him anything, so Tacopina is asking that the judge remove him from the federal corruption case or name him Monserrate's court-appointed lawyer, so he at least get something (even if it's just $125/hour, which is a step down from his usual $750/hour fee).
Hiram Monserrate Wants Taxpayers To Pay His Defense
Lawrence Taylor's Rape Defense May Be Masturbation
Sources tell TMZ that football legend Lawrence Taylor will be claiming an onanism defense regarding charges that he raped a 16-year-old prostitute at a Suffern, NY Holiday Inn. The gossip site reports, "We're told Lawrence will not deny he was in the same room as the 16-year-old prostitute, but his lawyer will argue Lawrence did not have sexual intercourse -- an element of third degree rape. As one source put it, Lawrence engaged in a 'masturbatory act' and that was it."
Lowery's Request For New Defense Team Denied
As Natavia Lowery's trial enters another week, the suspect has requested a change in counsel! The former personal assistant of Linda Stein (who she is accused of murdering in 2007) was denied her request for a new defense team today, according to the Daily News. Lowery said she didn't like the opening statement her lawyers gave, saying, "I was not happy with it. I have a different method or theory." The judge told her, "Get over it—it's not going to help you." Meanwhile, is anyone looking into those pants?
Al Qaeda-Linked Suspect Speaks, This Time With Permission
Attempted murder suspect Aafia Siddiqui spoke in her own defense today — and this time she wasn't thrown out of court. Though her attorneys have argued the outburst-prone Pakistani neuroscientist suffers from "diminished capacity," exhibits "conduct [that] cannot be contained" and would use her time on the stand to "turn the proceeding into a spectacle," the judge allowed her to take the stand in a hearing to determine if certain evidence will be admissible in court, and if she is fit to testify in front of jurors.
Critics Say Bollards At Atlantic Terminal Are Bollocks
The Long Island Rail Road's newly opened Atlantic Terminal Pavilion was decades in the making, and as such, the builders want to make sure it stands the test of time. So they surrounded it with "14 massive coffin-shaped concrete-and-granite bollards to ward off potential, though unspecified, terror attacks," according to the Brooklyn Paper.
Pit Bull Helps Scare Off Potential Attacker
Following a string of horrific attacks by pit bulls on civilians, one pit bull has actually turned hero. In an incident that occurred early Thursday morning, a stranger punched his way through the half-gated window of a young woman's bedroom in Rockland County--across the Hudson River and a few miles north from NYC. The assailant, apparently intent on raping the woman, climbed onto her bed and proceeded to punch her in the face several times.
"Pain Ray" Humvees on Flatbush
Reader Daniel pointed our attention to this photograph of a military trailer, carrying Humvees and headed towards Manhattan on Flatbush. He noticed that the center one was "outfitted with the so-called non-lethal Active Denial System."
Nixzmary's Stepfather Sentenced, Still Claims Innocence
A month after a jury found Cesar Rodriguez guilty of manslaughter in the brutal death of his 7-year-old stepdaughter NIxzmary Brown, a judge sentenced him to the maximum allowed, 26 /12 years to 29 years in jail. He told the court, "I loved Nixzmary...I can honestly say that I’m being accused of something I did not do...but I will take responsibility."
Preppy Killer To Use Drug-Psychiatric Defense
Robert Chambers, the infamous Preppy Killer who was busted last fall for dealing drugs to undercover cops, is going to use a "psychiatric 'poly-substance abuse' defense." His lawyer Valerie Van Leer-Greenberg told a judge, "He did not act knowingly" because he was so influenced by drugs.
Nixzmary Brown Murder Case Sinks Even Lower
A heretofore secret witness--previously described as a jailhouse snitch--testified in the murder trial of Cesar Rodriguez, charged with killing his 7-year-old stepdaughter Nixzmary Brown in 2006. The witness claimed the girl's mother confessed to killing her daughter.
Anti-Missile Defense Systems to Be Tested on JFK Jets
The Dept. of Homeland Security is funding the installation of a number of anti-missile defense systems on commercial jets flying in and out of JFK Airport. The tests are the third stage of testing of a system that is already used by military aircraft. The defense system consists of equipment affixed to the bottom of the aircraft that electronically jams the heat-seeking component of shoulder filed missiles. The latter are referred to as man portable air defense systems, or MANPADs. The current test of the anti-MANPAD systems on jets is to see how the equipment holds up on the real world operating conditions of a commercial jet.
Q Train Hate Crime Defense: I'm Jewish!
One of the ten suspects arrested in the Q train beating of a Jewish man during Hanukkah is saying that hate crime charges are completely uncalled for because he himself is Jewish. Joseph Jirovec Jr. was arrested two weeks ago after a group of Hanukkah revelers was beaten while on a the Q train after wishing happy holidays to other riders. Members of a crowd on the train took objection to the Jewish greetings and a beatdown ensued. In an encouraging twist, it was a young Muslim man who came to Walter Adler's aid. Hassan Askari was recently honored for his interfaith Good Samaritanism.

