Antonio Cromartie, the virile Jets cornerback, has agreed to a four-year deal to return to Gang Green. According to the Post, the Jets will pay him $32 million (that doesn't seem like a hometown discount!), which probably makes up for them trying to get free agent Nnamdi Asomugha (who went to the Eagles) to replace him. more ›

Last night Ashton Kutcher Tweeted, "What's the square root of 6.25?" (A: 2 ½.) Turns out this was a clue, tipping fans off to what's all over the rags today: he's replaced Charlie Sheen in Two And A Half Men (the CBS show Sheen was fired from after overdosing on his own ego). Earlier yesterday Kutcher seemed to be attempting to throw a wrench in the rumor mill, Tweeting, "I'm starting to become convinced that people put my name in articles just to improve their SEO or hoping I'll tweet it." (He later deleted that.) more ›

While Mad Men won't be returning this year, Netflix has just announced that they'll be adding the series to their Instant Watch option starting July 27th. So at least we'll get to experience Don Draper's infidelities in syndication! more ›

While Mad Men may not be returning this year, we can all finally exhale knowing that we'll be reunited with the chainsmoking gang in March of 2012. Last night the show's creator, Matthew Weiner, struck a deal with AMC and Lionsgate for two more seasons, with the option of a third (which sources say is likely). According to the Wall Street Journal, the agreement has Weiner receiving $30 million in compensation for the three years. more ›

After a stressful few moments in the voting booth tomorrow, why not head home and unwind with a new vibrator in hand? Or not, prude. Anyway, as with their 2008 promotion, Babeland is offering up a silver bullet vibrator ($15 value) to anyone who votes in the election tomorrow (or anyone who lies about voting in the election tomorrow, really). Not a bad reward for simply fulfilling one's civic duty. Here's the deal: Visit their retail stores on election day and tell them you voted, or go online and type in the code “110210” at checkout. You'll take home one silver bullet, and the satisfying knowledge that Christine O'Donnell probably disapproves. more ›

Caroline Giuliani, the 21-year-old daughter of former Mayor Rudy Giuliani, appeared in Criminal Court this morning to face shoplifting charges, but it was a quick visit, because she made a deal with the Manhattan DA's office. According to City Room, the Harvard student was "offered...an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal, meaning that if she serves a day of community service and stays out of trouble for six months, the case against her will be dismissed." more ›

Caroline Giuliani, the daughter of former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and TV personality Donna Hanover, is expected in court today to face shoplifting charges. Earlier this month, the Harvard student was apparently caught in the act by store employees and security cameras and police found items like "Dior skin primer, Bliss moisturizer and a hairnet" in her pockets. It took a little while for Sephora to decide to press charges and now the Daily News reports that she may be working on a deal with the Manhattan DA's office. more ›

Will today be as bad as the day he survived an attack from the Chinese during the Korean War? It's too soon to tell, but things might be looking moderately okay for Rep. Charles Rangel (D-Harlem) now that he may have settled: WCBS 2 reports that he "cut a deal to admit to ethical wrongdoing and avoid a potentially humiliating public trial. Harlem friends of Rangel tell CBS 2 they have been told that the details could be unveiled when the House Ethics Committee meets Thursday afternoon." And the AP says Rangel's lawyer negotiated the deal. more ›

Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver won't approve the controversial selection of a politically-linked casino company to operate slot machines at the Aqueduct Racetrack until state officials conclude their investigation of the deal. Without Silver's signature, the project is on hold. "[E]verything should wait until that information is available," he told the Daily News. "[W]hat's important is we know we're signing on to something that's appropriate, and if not, we're not going to." It's unclear when the state inspector general will finish his probe of the Aqueduct deal, which is also being investigated by federal authorities. Any delays could cause the state to miss out on $300 million needed to close the growing budget gap. more ›

The city is backing out of plans to purchase the historic Wyckoff-Bennett House in Brooklyn even though the 18th-century Dutch farmhouse—located on East 22nd Street near Avenue P—is one of the few left standing and it's still inhabited. Homeowners Stuart and Annette Mont say they've gone through a decade of negotiations and preparations with the Parks Department, but now a new deal has been proposed that isn't to their liking. more ›

Media mogul Rupert Murdoch, who owns both the NY Post and the Wall Street Journal, has been been put in the humiliating position of asking for a favor from his competitors. The Journal has been getting ready to launch a new edition in April, with an NYC metro section intended as a tough competitor to the Times. Meanwhile, Murdoch’s News Corporation is upgrading the Post’s printing plant in the South Bronx so that it can print the Journal and the Post. But there have been major delays on that, and now Murdoch needs to outsource some of The Post’s printing, so he's been reduced to begging his enemies for help. We do believe a HA-HA is in order. more ›

Did you see Conan's "Free Bird" farewell on Friday night? He's now off the air until at least September 1st, with the NY Post further igniting rumors that his next move may be to Fox. They report that more talks will likely be starting this week between two parties, and Fox has looked at clearing their 11 p.m. time slot. Currently the network doesn't have a late night lineup—their last attempt was with Chevy Chase in 1993, whose show was canceled after four weeks; prior to that Joan Rivers lasted less than a year. Their entertainment president says, "He's one of the few guys on the planet who has demonstrated he can do one of these shows every night." They'd reportedly like to close a deal with the host quickly—and one Conan source says he'd want a big budget, and "won't do anything that is not a high-quality show." more ›

After three long weeks of desperation and despair, food enthusiasts who subscribe to Cablevision can finally watch their favorite Food Network programs again, like Worst Cooks in America, Mexican Made Easy, and Watching Bread Toast. (Okay, we made one of those up.) Earlier this month, Scripps Networks yanked FoodTV and HGTV off Cablevision because it wanted more money; Cablevision execs claimed that Scripps was demanding a 200 percent fee increase, which would drive up customer rates. Yesterday they reached an agreement, though the financial terms were not announced. But that's not important—all that matters is that 3.1 million Cablevision subscribers got their Rachael Ray back, without a single hostage executed. more ›

Finally, Conan O'Brien — with just two more nights behind his Tonight Show desk — has reached an agreement with NBC. According to the NY Times, negotiations went into the night and resulted in a deal that will pay him about $32 million and allow him back on the small screen in 8 months time. The deal was signed around 1 a.m. PCT, and the Wall Street Journal reports that he also secured about $12 million for his staff. more ›

So much news in the Conan O'Brienosphere today. First off, TMZ reports that while the late night talk show host may not get to keep Triumph & Co. he is getting a $32.5 million payout upon leaving NBC and his Tonight Show hosting desk. He is free to move on to another network, but not until September. And since Conan loves his cast and crew, who have been with him since Day 1, you know he looked out for them during negotiations. Rumor has it they are all getting paid severance by the network, grand totaling their payout at around $40 million. more ›

As Conan O'Brien's last week as host of The Tonight Show is upon us (he'll film his final show on Friday), word is that his departure deal may be agreed upon today. While it's already been reported that the host will likely be able to go live on another network as early as September, and will receive a hefty financial payout — the stall seems to be surrounding the characters Conan has created while on the network. more ›

Yesterday it was confirmed that Conan would likely be leaving NBC with a nice settlement and the freedom to pursue opportunities at other networks. Last night the Wall Street Journal reported that the two parties are close to closing in on a final agreement, with a financial settlement that could put $25M to $40M in Conan's pockets. The deal is reportedly going to be reached this weekend — a meeting was scheduled for this morning. more ›

The Bloomberg administration will spend $95.7 million in taxpayer money to purchase 6.9 acres of land in the Coney Island amusement district from millionaire developer Joe Sitt. The deal, which will be officially announced tomorrow, marks the end of a long stalemate between the city and Sitt, who is widely reviled in Coney Island for buying up property, evicting longtime tenants, and letting prime real estate remain vacate as way of essentially blackmailing the city into meeting his demands. Sitt had originally proposed a $1.5 billion Las Vegas style resort, with condos and shopping, but the Bloomberg administration had plans of their own. more ›

Yesterday, federal agents arrested dozens of individuals, many of them NJ politicians and lawmakers as well as prominent religious figures in NJ and NY, in a probe that began as a money laundering investigation but then turned into a political corruption bust as well. The Star-Ledger reports, "The bribes went down in diners, living rooms and parking lots. New Jersey Assemblymen took them, mayors took them, and so did dozens of others. Orthodox rabbis, acting more like crime bosses than religious leaders, laundered millions through synagogues and yeshivas in Deal, one of the state's wealthiest towns. And a Realtor tried to sell an informant a black market kidney for $160,000." more ›

This week the Times's Frank Bruni piles on Shang, a restaurant in the Thompson LES Hotel helmed by the acclaimed, formerly Toronto-based chef Susur Lee, whose first mistake is making Bruni exercise: "The staircase was the first befuddlement and miscalculation I encountered — and a clue that the evening and restaurant might not be all I’d hope for. It’s a long, drab, foreboding rise of steps from the sidewalk to the host station, an entrance less inviting than aerobic. I’ve gone on runs that didn’t leave me as winded." As for the menu, some dishes are "intensely pleasurable," but overall it's "inconsistent and uneventful. The magic that Mr. Lee reputedly made in Toronto hasn’t followed him here." more ›

In March, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz will wipe the flop sweat off his brow and try to forestall doom by jumping on the value-meal bandwagon. He's is also firing back at a billboard put up by McDonald's in Seattle which reads, "Four bucks is dumb," referring to Starbucks's reputation as the home of the $4 cup of coffee. Baristas will now be doing double duty as brewers of corporate propaganda, instructed to inform customers that the average price of a Starbucks beverage is less than $3, and that 90% of Starbucks drinks cost under $4. more ›

After a weekend of negotiations, the MTA and developer the Related Companies have agreed to delay closing on the Hudson Yards deal, according to the NY Times: "As a result, Related will not have to make a $43.5 million down payment immediately, although the company will have to pay a nonrefundable $10 million for the delay, according to two executives who have been briefed on the agreement." more ›

The Super Bowl is this Sunday, who cares? Oh right, millions of people. Okay then, we aim to please, so for those in need of a place to enjoy the big corporate diversion in a public setting with food and booze, here are some appealing options. (And if watching men in tights wrestle each other to the ground isn't your thing, it's always a great day to go skiing or snowboarding. There's also the Astor Center's "taste-experience" class exploring what a Japanese scientist named Kikunae Ikeda called the fifth taste, or "umami.") more ›

The NY Times reports that since a federal magistrate decided not to revoke financial scammer Bernard Madoff's bail—in spite of suspicious actions like mailing $1 million+ in jewelry out and those millions in checks for friends, family and others—"signs emerged that his lawyer was actively negotiating a plea agreement that could conclude the baffling fraud case without a trial." Well, of course, can you imagine Madoff going through a trial? Still, the U.S. Attorney's office is planning on appealing the ruling. Palm Beach social scene observer Laurence Leamer writes in the Huffington Post, "Madoff must live the rest of his life knowing that at any moment he may die" what with the unhappy Russians and Colombian drug lords; Clusterstock adds, "it's a testament to the strength of our civilization that Madoff is still alive. We wouldn't be surprised, however, if there are people preparing to test that strength at this very moment." more ›

The Post reports that the city will removed 724 Snapple vending machines "from all municipal buildings." It was five years ago when the city announced its big Snapple deal, claiming it was worth $126 million but later revised that number to $33 million. The Post now says the deal had yielded "only 26 percent of anticipated sales...nearly one year before the deal ends." One city worker at the Municipal Building said, "I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've seen somebody at that machine in the years it's been there... Mostly because there's a kiosk downstairs that has other things besides drinks, or people go out and get their lunch and drinks outside." Still, the city's marketing arm is upbeat, at least the to Post, "The Snapple partnership was an excellent one for the city. The partnership and process were completely transparent and the vending portion was always scheduled to end in April 2009. We would absolutely do the deal again, and are very pleased with how this worked out." more ›

The CEO of Swich, John Gargiulo, has hipped us to a serious lunch special tomorrow at his sleek and tasty pressed sandwich shop on Eighth Avenue between 15th & 16th. All their "Swiches" and "Deconstructeds" will be sold for $.67 cents to commemorate the anniversary of the stock market crash of 1929. Gargiulo writes: "It's a crappy time for everyone out there and we thought we'd cheer NYC up! I personally would take a train for a .67 cent sandwich and I imagine many Gothamist readers would too (wait, I am a Gothamist reader). We're doing it from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. tomorrow (Wednesday) and it is sure to be a madhouse (it is between 12-1 already!)" So to beat the madhouse you'll probably want to start lining up tonight—an inconsequential sacrifice for delicious, steeply discounted panini. more ›

Besides the sickening amount of mass-produced prole candy available this time of year, there's also an abundance of higher grade Halloween eating and drinking options. And so it begins; the long, downward holiday flab spiral that reaches its nadir around the first week of January when you have to start leaving the top button of your pants undone. Oh well, no use fighting it; here are some consumption opportunities we've been able to scare up:
• Through the weekend, the 2008 Vendy award-winning Treats Truck will be featuring Halloween specials including Halloween sugar cookies and Candy Corn Crispy Squares. (Keep apprised of the truck's whereabouts.)
• According to their website, "the ghouls of the cheese world" will converge at Artisanal Cheese on Halloween night. Fromager Waldemar Albrecht and wine professional Candela Prol will conduct a tasting of cheeses and wines "from remote and obscure places on a night that will be hauntingly remembered." Sure it costs $85, but freaking out about your budget is part of the Halloween fun.
• Sushi Samba's Halloween specials take their cue from the outrageous, stylized contortions of Kabuki characters, hence their "Spooky Kabooki" party on Friday at their Park and 7th Street location, with a costume contest that will send the most inventively dressed diner (out of all locations) on a weekend vacation to Las Vegas. Runners-up walk with $100 gift certificates, and special menu items include the Dracula dessert: Coca cola gelee, vanilla bean ice cream, raspberry foam and finish with berry blood drops & pop rock explosions.

Citigroup may have gotten a NY judge to block Wells Fargo from taking over Wachovia on Saturday, but that was overturned by an appellate court judge yesterday! Apparently a NY judge can't issue an order from outside of NY--and the judge was in Connecticut at the time (it's like a mistake that would happen on Law & Order!). The NY Times' Dealbook tries to explain the lawsuits piling up--Citigroup is suing Well Fargo for interfering with its federally-arranged $2+ billion purchase of Wachovia, while now Wachovia is suing Citigroup claiming that their agreement is not exlusive and its can purse the $15+ billion offer from Wells Fargo. Bloomberg News reports that squabble could mean Wachovia gets split up between Citigroup and Wells. more ›

Starting today and running through Labor Day, Starbucks will be helping customers succumbing to afternoon drowsiness with a special discount. After 2 p.m., anyone who produces a receipt from a previous Starbucks purchase that morning can buy any iced grande beverage for $2. (Drinks like their grande iced latte typically costs about $4.) The new discount is part of an aggressive attempt by the faltering coffee giant – which is closing hundreds of locations and recently posted a loss for the first time – to retain customers. But a commenter on Starbucks Gossip seems to reflect a growing consensus: “I don't know, this just all seems a little desperate to me.” more ›