There's no denying it: there are way too many terrible "Sh*t Blank Says" videos out there at this point. But that doesn't mean there aren't still some good ones being made, like "Sh*t Rocks Say" and "Sh*t Mimes Say." And this week, we highly enjoyed "Sh*t Native New Yorkers Say," the spiritual successor (or spiritual grandfather?) to "Sh*t New Yorkers Say." We spoke to comedian Anthony DeVito, one of the creators of "Sh*t Native New Yorkers Say" via email, to see what he makes of all this sh*t.
Talkin Sh*t With Anthony DeVito, Maker Of "Sh*t Native New Yorkers Say"
F*cking Video: Sh*t Native New Yorkers Say (F*ck You)
Some people were less-than-satisfied with the "Sh*t New Yorkers Say" video which went viral last week—not enough cursing, too much hipster lingo, wrong accents. Well, you asked for it internet, and now you've got it: below, check out "Sh*t Native New Yorker Say." That includes mentions of dead people on the subway, subway tokens with the cut out "Y", beluga whales at the aquarium, going to Humanities, gritty Times Square, hookers, and f*ucking Giuliani. We're particularly happy they know how to pronounce "ma" the right way.
Sh*t Said By New Yorkers Who Made 'Sh*t New Yorkers Say'
We really, really thought we were done with the "Sh*t People Say" meme once we saw Sh*t Trebek Says, but yesterday, "Sh*t New Yorkers Say" made us click one more time (and it wasn't just because we were lovingly mentioned). Creator and comedian Eliot Glazer spoke with Metro Focus about why he name-checked Pat Keirnan three times in the video: "He’s just a perfectly cherubic, endlessly charming gentleman, and I would love to have dinner with him."
Mensch Louis C.K. Donates $280K From Comedy Special To Charity
Louis C.K.'s Beacon Theater comedy special/internet experiment turned out better than anyone could have expected: in the 12 days since the special was put online for $5, Louis has made more than a million dollars! And he announced on his website that he is donating $280,000 to five different charities: "The thing is still on sale. I hope folks keep buying it. If I make another million, I'll give more of it away. I'll let you know when that happens because I like you getting to know what happened to your 5 dollars and bringing awareness to the bla bla bla." Aww: come for the bag of dicks, stay for the benevolence.
Louis C.K.'s $5 Comedy Special Has Likely Made Him $750,000
If you're a connoisseur of funny things you may already know that NYC's own Louis C.K. has a new comedy special out featuring his performances at the Beacon Theater last month. It's on his website for $5, and his thinking is akin to Radiohead's In Rainbows experiment: will people pay for something if they can steal it? Apparently if it's good enough, yes. The comedian tells David Carr that on Thursday night, 175,000 people bought the special, and he was expecting 200,000 total after the weekend. Minus production costs, "That's a $750,000 profit. And he owns the rights, and the long tail of buyers, in perpetuity." Not bad for the recipient of the America's Saddest Handjob.
Score Free Tickets To Todd Barry's Comedy Special At The Gramercy
East Village resident and comedic deli thespian Todd Barry is filming his new Comedy Central special at the Gramercy Theater on December 1. Tickets are free for both the 7:15 or the 9:15 shows, and you can enter for them here.
Video: Zach Galifianakis Doing Stand-Up In 1999
Before becoming all Brooklyn on Bored to Death, a young Zach Galifianakis was a struggling comedian honing his craft out West. And just like old footage of Jerry Seinfeld doing stand-up surfaced this year, here is Galifianakis in 1999, at just 30-years-old, doing his routine. It's noted on YouTube that this is just one year before he appeared on Letterman, "followed by his own aborted VH1 talk show, working on the road, film and TV appearances... and then came Hangover."
Watch How The Media Comes Up With Fresh Occupy Wall Street Headlines
Here's an amusing parody about how different media outlets come up with new headlines for the myriad Occupy Wall Street articles that must be churned out on a daily basis. Our favorite is probably the NY Post newsroom's process, which involves a lot of gibberish, rhyming and alliteration. Oh, and the Huffington Post, where an editor asks what the New York Times went with, and decides, "Yeah, just go with that but with a bigger font."
Former SNL Star Darrell Hammond Did A Lot Of Drugs, Cut Himself
In his hilariously-covered new memoir, former SNL comedian Darrell Hammond admits to heavy drinking, drug use, and even of practicing forms of self-harm during his tenure there. According to the Post, Hammond engaged in the behavior to escape painful childhood memories. "I kept a pint of Remy in my desk at work. The drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images that sprang into my head
when drinking didn't work, I cut myself," Hammond writes.
Video: Bill Clinton Enlists Army Of Celebrities
Celebrities love getting involved in politics, so of course Bill Clinton has a "celebrity division" of his William Jefferson Clinton Foundation. Somehow he didn't manage to bag Scarlett Johansson (who has been vocal about her love of both President Obama and Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer), but he did get Ben Stiller, Matt Damon, Sean Penn, Kristen Wiig, Kevin Spacey, Ted Danson, and Mary Steenburgen.
Video: Tracy Morgan Is Sort Of Sorry About That Ugly Homophobic Rant
Remember, just a few months ago, when Tracy Morgan was at the center of a pretty serious sh*itstorm over a nasty little homophobic rant during a stand-up act in Nashville? While he did issue a formal apology shortly after the incident, it turns out that people—like David Letterman—are still talking about it, much to Morgan's chagrin.
Exciting Fall Comedy Worth Leaving the House For
Did you miss the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival at the Bell House again? Yeah, we're still bummed about it too. What is that you say? There things to be excited about other than WTF with Marc Maron? Here's a few that we're pumped about.
Video: David Letterman Jokes About Jihad, Calls Audience His "Human Shield"
Last night, David Letterman returned from his vacation and addressed the alleged Al-Qaeda death threat: "I have a fatwa on me. And they say the guy that issued the fatwa is an Internet jihadist. Internet jihadist, and I said, 'Well, heck, who says Obama isn't creating jobs?'" He also said, "We have a great audience night in and night out but tonight you mean a lot to me. You people are more than an audience tonight, really. You're more like a human shield."
Google, Everyone Loves Lucille Ball On Her 100th Birthday!
In case you're a bit confused about today's Google Doodle old fashioned TV, today would have been legendary comedian Lucille Ball's 100th birthday! Starring in a series of shows for CBS from 1951 to 1974, Ball is best known and loved for her first television series, I Love Lucy, which some say has been seen by more people more often than any other program in history.
Video: Louis C.K. Does Carolines, Circa Early '90s
Today, in honor of fantastically cranky, Rumsfeld-baiting comic Louis C.K.'s Emmy nomination, we're taking a little trip down memory lane, to a time when Louis was young, thin, and blessed with a full head of hair.
Tracy Morgan Apologizes For Violently Homophobic Stand-Up Routine
30 Rock star (and the only man alive who would have a fire in his fishtank) Tracy Morgan is at the center of a major firestorm over allegations that he went on an ugly homophobic rant at a Nashville show. According to audience member Kevin Rogers's epic Facebook note, titled "WHY I NO LONGER 'LIKE' Tracy Morgan—A MUST READ:"
Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson, Broad City
Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson have been working their way into the NYC alternative comedy scene via their web series and live comedy performances, both under the name Broad City. The series was nominated for Best Comedic Video by ECNY (Ilana was nominated for Best Emerging Comic), and has been steadily gaining a cult following over the past year and a half. You can catch these ladies live and in the flesh when they host the Broad City Season 2 finale celebration this Thursday at the 92Y Tribeca, where they will premiere a Broad City short film, in addition to screening several favorite episodes, four stand-up acts, and live music.
Video: What's The Deal With The New Seinfeld Website?
Once upon a time, a man had a dream that he was being eaten by a hamburger. That humble man was comedian Jerry Seinfeld, and now after over 30 years in comedy, he's decided to take control of his legacy. Seinfeld announced this week that he will be debuting his new website this Friday. JerrySeinfeld.com will feature clips of nearly every recorded comedy performance he has given. Check out one of those clips below, featuring a bespectacled 20-something Seinfeld making his first TV appearance in 1977:
Comedy Venue Trying To Turn East Village Into Twisted David Lynch Fantasy, Clearly
Earlier this month East Village locals rallied against the UCB Theater's Hot Chicks Room, a bar attached to their new comedy venue. The name was discarded, the sign was taken down, and the NIMBYs target heart rates went back to normal... until the red curtains came up.
Spider-Man Musical's Problems Get Spoofed On SNL
British comedian Russell Brand is doing the publicity push for his new film (a remake of the Dudley Moore classic, Arthur) and with that comes hosting Saturday Night Live. As expected, he played a number of British characters in sketches—our favorite was in the British movie commercial and if you're a fan of gritty British crime dramas, it's up your alley—but our favorite bit was a tribute to the beleaguered Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark musical, by way of a personal injury lawyer commercial. Click on the thumbnails to see videos.
Judge: Comedian Can Make Jokes About Mother-in-Law
A New Jersey stand-up comedian got the "last laugh" (har, Post) when she won a suit brought upon her by her mother-in-law two years ago. Sunda Croonquist had spent years using her marriage into a Jewish family as comedy fodder, but after a while her mother-in-law Ruth Zafrin wasn't finding her act so funny, and sued her over her "malicious" shtick. Husband Mark signed on as Sunda's lawyer, and courtroom hilarity most likely ensued. Now, a judge has ruled that Croonquist's jokes are protected speech.
Video: Chris Rock at Comic Strip Live in 1989
The Comic's Comic has unearthed this NYU Student film Who's Chris Rock?, which shows the bombastic comedian right as he was getting his start. Though he had already been on Miami Vice, the 23-year-old comedian had just told his parents about his comedy dreams, and despite their disapproval was playing the city's comedy circuit. Reactions in 1989 to his controversial catalog are nearly the same as today, with one man saying he didn't like how Rock was derogatory to black actors, and even his mother saying she thought he was disrespectful. But you can't hate on gems like this: "I think doctors are the lowest people on the face of the earth. You know why? Because they charge you for help!...The police don't go 'OK Ma'am, it's a good thing you didn't get raped. That'll be $1,000.'" Topical! Watch the video after the jump.
"Sneaky Chef" Sues Seinfeld AGAIN
“Sneaky Chef” author Missy Lapine is taking another stab at Jerry Seinfeld, claiming he slandered her character by calling her a “nutjob” on national TV. In a previous lawsuit Lapine accused the comic’s wife of stealing her idea for a cookbook that showed parents how to covertly feed their kids healthy foods (sweet potato in a grilled cheese sandwich, avocado in chocolate pudding etc.). A judge ruled against her but nonetheless Seinfeld felt compelled to call her a “wacko” during an appearance on David Letterman. According to the Daily News, the new suit targets the statements made by the sitcom star as well as Harper Collins, who the author says twice rejected her cookbook concept, before handing a book deal to Seinfeld’s wife.
Go Go Coco: Conan O'Brien Tour Tickets On Sale
As expected/hoped, Conan O'Brien is hitting the road for a comedy tour. He Tweeted the news this morning, "Hey Internet: I'm headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music tour. Go to http://TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It's half-assed."
Seinfeld's The Marriage Ref A Sign of NBC's Desperation?
After the Leno-Conan disaster and the Black History Month menu NBC was reportedly so happy to see Jerry Seinfeld show up at the office, it didn’t even care what he was pitching. "If you know the Yiddish term kvelling, that's what the executives were doing. They were rejoicing. Jerry's back! Seinfeld's in the house again!" one source told the Post, adding that “a show based on a guy sitting with a paper bag over his head...would have been green-lighted." But it wasn’t a show about paper bags, or a show about nothing. It was a show about marital spats, which, since airing after the Olympics, has gotten bad reviews and ratings that aren’t much better, causing TV pioneer Al Primo to predict the Marriage Ref will come back to “haunt” Seinfeld and the network that broadcasted it.
Colbert On Ford's Gaffes: "You're Saying Come And Gotcha Me"
After being named Stephen Colbert's "Alpha Dog of the Week" for brazenly changing his positions as he considers a Senate race in New York, former Tennessee Congressman Harold Ford Jr. sat down with the comic and addressed insinuations that he's a carpet-bagger and a flip-flopper.
Original Pie Comedian, Soupy Sales, Dies At 83
The original anarchic comedy hero for teenagers and college students, Soupy Sales, died Thursday in a hospice in New York City after suffering from multiple health problems. He was 83. Soupy, one of the only known men to have splattered a pie in Fank Sinatra's face and take more than 20,000 cream-fille tins to his own, won over TV audiences young and old, but mostly young, in the 1950s and '60s.
Patton Oswalt, Comedian
Patton Oswalt has built himself up as one of the most well-respected stand-ups in his twenty-plus year career. He is a definitive "comic's comic," always refining and plugging away at his stand-up act—his most recent special being played on Comedy Central. Today marks the opening of his first star turn as the lead role in the darkly comic Big Fan, written and directed by the same screenwriter who wrote The Wrestler. Oswalt carries the film through it's brooding, modernist character study of a Staten Island Giant fanatic who lives with his mother and spends his work days perfecting his night speeches made as a caller to a local sports talk radio show. The film will be a strange experience for Giant fans as the tale it tells inadvertently ended up mirroring the team's Plaxico Burress situation last season in a bizarre number of ways.
Comedian, Laywer Say Mom-in-Law's Lawsuit Isn't Kosher
The story of the stand-up comedian being sued for defamation by her Jewish mother-in-law continues to be gobbled up by media outlets across the nation. Both comic Sunda Croonquist and her lawyer husband Mark Zafrin say they were blindsided by Rose Zafrin's suit. The husband whose firm will represent Croonquist told the Post his reaction to the suit was, "What — are you trying to us? My wife's from Paterson!" The black comedienne, whose observational jokes about differences in ethnic customs suddenly became too much for her mother-in-law, says she keeps a kosher house and converted to Judaism (for her marriage, not her career). When asked about the lawsuit by Entertainment Tonight, she said, "I felt sick to my stomach I was sickened. ... I thought maybe a phone call would suffice." She also mentioned to the TV show that she had shows here at Stand-Up NY and Comix this weekend. If this ends up in Judge Judy or Cristina's Court, we think we know who the special guest star will be to mend the parted sea between the two. Croonquist recently revealed that she was inspired her to grab a mic for the first time after being encouraged at a party...by none other than Jackie Mason.

