Parade arrangements are still forthcoming, but this we do know: a Manhattan jury acquitted former QB Chris Simms of driving under the influence of marijuana after under two hours of deliberation, DNA Info reports. After shockingly not deploying the "Rasta Defense," Simms had his friend testify earlier today that he was actually The Smoker, and not Simms. Clearly, the system works; which is what Simms is conveying with this hand gesture. more ›

As promised, former quarterback and reanimated corpse Chris Simms trotted out his friend, Charlie Granatell, to tell the court that Simms' arrest for driving under the influence was all just one big, hilarious misunderstanding. The Daily News reports that Granatell was in the car with Simms and his wife when Simms' was stopped at a checkpoint on West Houston street at 1am, and insisted that he smoked "half a joint" after the group had dinner. What, have they outlawed digestifs? more ›

Facing charges of driving under the influence of marijuana, the trial of former Titans quarterback Chris Simms began yesterday with arresting officer Frank Acosta testifying that the son of Giants legend Phil Simms was "very, very unsteady on his feet" after being pulled over on West Houston street last summer, the Daily News reports. This was fairly vanilla compared to the things Acosta said during a pre-trial hearing, among them that the smell of marijuana was "coming from his breath. I had a headache. Even my tongue got numb…He was like a zombie." While we can't vouch for marijuana's ability to morph into garlic, we can say that Simms' mug shot is a tad damning. Maybe he's squinting because his future's so bright? Oh. more ›

Former Giants QB and current CBS sports analyst Phil Simms is a very proud father. So when former Packers receiver/returner Desmond Howard made fun of his son Matt, a quarterback at Tennessee, earlier in the college football season, Simms waited for the perfect opportunity to defend his son's honor. And he chose to do so yesterday at an NFL Experience event in Dallas. And Howard tweeted all about it: "I am DEAD serious about the Phil Simms thing. We all thought he was joking, but he kept going and said he wanted 2 take a swing at me!!" Considering some of the things we've written about his other son, zombie Chris Simms, we hope we don't run into Phil at any charity events soon. more ›

Chris Simms is gaining quite the reputation: the currently out-of-work quarterback is on trial after he was caught earlier this summer allegedly driving while stoned. PO Francisco Acosta, the arresting officer who pulled him over after he made a "wild turn" on Houston St., testified in the pre-trial hearing: "It was coming from his breath. I had a headache. Even my tongue got numb...He was like a zombie, like a slow motion type of person." more ›

For most people, if you skip a court date for all but the most irregular and unusual of circumstances, you face being issued a bench warrant, or arrest warrant. But then there's fantasy world, where luminaries such as Hiram Monserrate and Tennessee Titans quarterback Chris Simms frolic to and fro, court appearances be damned. more ›

The son of Giants legend Phil Simms was in court yesterday, fighting charges that he was driving while stoned—and with his pregnant wife in the car!—in June. According to court documents, Chris Simms, a quarterback for the Tennessee Titans, told the cops, "I was smoking marijuana in the car earlier," but now he says the cops misunderstood and misquoted him! more ›

Chris Simms, son of beloved NY Giant Phil Simms, was arrested earlier this morning: The Post says the 29-year-old Tennessee Titans backup quarterback "was busted early this morning in the West Village driving high on marijuana with his 8-months pregnant wife in the passenger seat," while the Daily News reports he was "pulled over at a DWI checkpoint on W. Houston St. at 1:30 a.m., the sources said." more ›