An artist adds some pounds to the cereal icon, in an attempt to draw attention to the unhealthy breakfast treat.
Will A "Fat Tony The Tiger" Toy Get Kids Eating Healthier Cereals?
Will Latinos Like The New Dulce De Leche Cheerios?
Hey, Latinos, have you heard? Cheerios knows their regular old Cheerios aren't caliente enough for you. That's why they've made an all-new dulche de leche flavored Cheerio. Other options included dipping the Cheerios in salsa, but cereal technicians eventually decided the chunky tomato-milk combo wouldn't stand.
Kid's Cereal Is Basically Dessert, Says Science
In a study that will come as a surprise to no one who's even so much as smelled Lucky Charms, researchers found that many children's cereals have a cavity-inducing amount of sugar per serving—some clocking in with more sugar than Twinkies.
Man Invents Sifting Device To Separate Pesky Lucky Charms Nuggets From Marshmallows
This is coming on to the market way too late for us to enjoy with our Saturday Morning Cartoons, but better late than never. Kids (or adults who still eat Lucky Charms on a regular basis—we're not here to judge), the future is now. Some genius has invented a device to sift the healthier bits of the cereal out of the cereal, leaving you with only the dehydrated marshmallows, just as nature intended.
Cap'n Crunch Isn't Dead, Just Staying Away from Children
There was panic on the soggy seas earlier this week when rumors swirled that Cap'n Horatio Magellan Crunch was being quietly forced into retirement by the corporate overlords who sign the checks for his intrepid adventures. It all started when Daily Finance noticed that the Cap'n "is nowhere to be found" on the Quaker website, and Quaker's corporate parent, PepsiCo, acts as if he doesn't even exists. The last time Crunch's exploits were trumpeted in a press release was four years ago, in a survey that found that 83% percent of kids thought it would be fun to be a pirate. We've been unable to reach the Cap'n for comment—and what's worse is that First Lady Michelle Obama was implicated in his disappearance.
CC Sabathia's Diet Secret: Stop Eating Cap'n Crunch
The Yankees' ace CC Sabathia says that he lost 25 pounds easily: By cutting out Cap'n Crunch cereal from his diet. He told reporters today, "I stopped eating Cap'n Crunch every day I used to eat that stuff by the box." Now he's 290 pounds, down from 315 pounds—"I'm actually what it says on the back of my card."
Snap, Crackle & Pop Will Save You From Swine Flu!
This is such great news: the Kellogg company says that Cocoa Krispies builds your immunity! Who needs a flu shot when you can just eat Rice Krispies Treats? And not only can the sugary cereal save your life, but this news could also help bring back the school bake sale.

