Over the weekend, a New York Post reporter risked her life staying in Zuccotti Park and wrote that it is "quickly becoming one of the most dangerous places in New York City." Now, the tabloid has discovered shocking news that Occupy Wall Street has events planned through 2025! This leaderless, rag-tag group of smelly "vagabonds" have a tightly regimented schedule that they will surely follow 14 years from now!
Occupy Wall Street Here Until 2025, According To NY Post
CB 1 Passes Resolution Arranging For Toilets, Limiting Noise For Occupy Wall Street
"You are out of order, sir!" Gordon Crovitz, former publisher of the Wall Street Journal, had just interrupted Community Board 1's Executive Committee discussion with shouts of "Take responsibility!" and had to be silenced by board's chair Julie Menin. Crovitz was one of the six public speakers who spoke out against Occupy Wall Street at last night's meeting, as opposed to the 21 others who praised the movement. A resolution that limits loud noise to two hours a day, arranges access to off-site bathrooms for the protesters and "opposes the use of excessive and unnecessary force by the City of New York and/or Brookfield properties to address this situation" was enthusiastically passed.
Tents Sprout Up In Zuccotti Park In Defiance Of New Rules
During the first weekend of Occupy Wall Street last month, we saw very few tents in Zuccotti Park, and in fact a spokesperson for Occupy Wall Street told us that the NYPD would direct them to remove any tents or tarps they put up. It seems that this is no longer the case. As the weather gets colder more protesters find the need to protect themselves from the elements, Zuccotti Park is now full of tents, and the NYPD, taking its cue from Brookfield Properties, is not forcing protesters to remove them.
Downtowners Disgusted By Drumming, Defecation From Occupy Wall Street
"These protesters are destroying our neighborhood. This 'good neighbor' policy? Good neighbors pay rent!" A smattering of applause was swallowed by a chorus of boos after 26-year-old Frank Calvosa spoke at last night's CB 1 Quality of Life Committee meeting. Calvosa was one of around ten people who spoke condemning Occupy Wall Street's presence in Lower Manhattan, and they were outnumbered. Resident Garrett McConnell took the mic shortly after: "Who are these people who live in Manhattan expecting peace and quiet? New York is loud, dirty, and fabulous!"
Finally: Occupy Wall Street Gets Its Own 311-Style Hotline
Neighbors sick and tired of the protestors down at Occupy Wall Street now have a number to call that isn't 311. At the urging of City Councilwoman Margaret Chin, whose district includes Zuccotti Park, the month-old protest has created a dedicated, 24-hour hotline where residents can voice their concerns. There is also an e-mail address and a number for small businesses. How long until these numbers get abused?
After Neighbor Complaints, Williamsburg Waterfront Concerts Will Move... Slightly
Change was in the air following one woman's account of nitrous-fueled zombie hippies taking over her block after a Widespread Panic concert on the Williamsburg waterfront this summer. Last night a Community Board meeting was held to address the location, and it seems the Open Space Alliance (who host the concerts) and CB1 have come to an agreement: future events will be held a couple of blocks away, at a vacant lot on Kent and North 11th Street.
Video: Nitrous Oxide-Fueled Fans Terrorize Williamsburg Locals
Earlier this year Community Board 1 was attempting to strong arm the Open Space Alliance into cutting back concerts on Williamsburg's Waterfront this summer. But it didn't happen, and now their worst nightmares have been realized. Over the weekend the jam band Widespread Panic played the outdoor venue, and after the show one local tells us "a lawless drug nightmare erupted" on their block, prompting them to send an open letter to organizers at the Open Space Alliance, which reads, in part:
Puerto Rican Restaurant Sues, Says Manhattan's CB 1 Is Racist
TriBeCa's bi-level Puerto Rican restaurant Sazon has been having problems with its neighbors since it opened but rather than continue work it out the restaurant's owner is so fed up today he filed a multi-million dollar federal civil rights suit accusing the city, the State Liquor Authority and members of lower Manhattan's Community Board 1 of discriminating against the restaurant because its customers aren't "from this neighborhood." Owner Genaro Morales explained to us that the suit was a last resort, "we've made several attempts at mediating meetings with the CB and the community and nothing has gotten better."
"Real Brooklynites" Demand Fewer Williamsburg Waterfront Concerts
Here we go again! Community Board 1 (more like Complaining Board 1, eh?) is trying to strong arm the Open Space Alliance into cutting back on the number of outdoor concerts they're holding on Williamsburg's waterfront this summer. Last night the board's parks committee voted to limit the number of large-scale concerts at East River State Park, by cancelling five shows and reducing capacity from 6,500 to 5,000 people. That's a nice wish list, but it ain't happenin'.
[UPDATED] Community Board Votes To Ban Concerts On Williamsburg's Waterfront (But They're Happening Anyway!)
[UPDATED BELOW] Last night one part of the Williamsburg community rose up against another, possibly more "social" part of the Williamsburg community. This all went down at the CB1 meeting, where much of the night was spent discussing that proposed moratorium on all new liquor licenses in the area (more on that later). The shocker came at the end of the meeting, however, when community board members voted unanimously to ban all concerts from the Williamsburg Waterfront!
Irate Protesters Rail Against Ground Zero Mosque At CB Meeting
The xenophobic reactionaries were out in force at last night's community board hearing on the controversial mosque proposed for Ground Zero. The arguments against the mosque boiled down to the simple equation of Islam=terrorism, which is about as reductive as saying Catholicism=child molestation, but there's no reasoning with these people—especially when some of them can legitimately play the 9/11 card. Retired FDNY Deputy Chief Al Santora, whose 23-year-old son Christopher was the youngest firefighter to die that day, told the board, "I do have a problem with having a mosque on top of the site where [terrorists] can gloat about what they did."
Community Board Challenges Obama Over Terror Trials
New York City's community boards are known for being thorns in the side of city government, lobbying, often effectively, to influence the policy of councilmembers and city agencies. But it's rare to see a community board — by design the lowest wrung of municipal government — challenge the President of the United States. And it's even rarer to see them making headway.
McCarren Park Pool Presented to Community
Everyone is abuzz about the new renderings of McCarren Park Pool unveiled at the CB1 meeting last night, except they look exactly the same as the ones unveiled a year ago! Okay, close your eyes and picture McCarren Park Pool...now add some aquamarine-toned blue water courtesy of your mind's Photoshop, and that's pretty much what it's going to look like (for the imaginationally challenged, this is also represented in the rendering above).
Kent Ave Bike Lane Brouhaha Explodes At Community Meeting
Emotions were high last night at Brooklyn's first CB1 meeting of the year. The ongoing controversy over the Kent Avenue bike lanes and the recent, sudden dismissal of Teresa Toro, who had chaired the Transportation Committee, inspired members of the local community to crowd the small room at the Swinging 60's Senior Citizens Center, waiting for their chance to speak to the board.
No (Legal) Dancing in Studio B's Future
Last night the Community Board panel voted against recommending a cabaret license for Studio B, something the club has lacked for years – not that that's stopped anyone inside from getting down. At the core of the club's problem are the neighbors, who are now getting as loud as Studio B's late night parties, while running wild with Footloose laws clenched in their fists. Amongst their complaints are the new roof deck, the trash, the noise and of course the dancing – the horrible, illicit, sinful dancing. This one time one of them saw a girl flash her breasts inside of the club on the dancefloor!
Studio B Blames Patrons for Problems
Studio B has been met with some serious opposition in their Greenpoint neighborhood, and this week they'll be meeting with Community Board 1 to discuss their cabaret license, or lack thereof (they've been operating without one for two years).
Community Backlash Against "The New Seaport"
The South Street Seaport redevelopment plan, released yesterday, is unsurprisingly being met with immediate backlash. Councilman Alan J. Gerson, who the NY Times reports has a significant voice in the approval, has stated with confidence that the plan is “certainly not going to pass in its present form.”

