Results tagged “cardboardtube”

              

Confirming the worst fears of many hipster analysts, long-simmering tensions between rival cardboard tube factions erupted into full-scale war on Sunday, with many women and children caught in the crossfire. Photojournalist Katie Sokoler risked grave injury to bring us these shocking photographs from the front lines; she reports that the casualties were innumerable, and only one young girl (photo 2) emerged triumphant from the cardboard carnage, smiting her foes with pitiless cruelty: "The guys were scared of her, she had no shame in aiming for the crotch." Sokoler also reports that the remaining survivors "helped to clean up and recycle the cardboard after the event."

Having worked tirelessly to end global warming, nuclear proliferation, and that horrible Guinea worm disease, hipsters can at last enjoy a well-earned childish diversion. This Sunday the Seattle chapter of the Cardboard Tube Fighting League (yep, it exists) will be hosting a tournament! Everyone's invited to dress up like knights in cardboard armor and smack each other around with tubes, which will be provided by the organizers. (No outside tubes are permitted, to prevent contestants from causing any non-ironic injuries with doctored tubes.) Afterward, everybody will not get laid.