Earlier this week, onanism aficionados poured out a cold one for the Starbucks masturbator when they heard rumors that some of the 196 Starbucks locations across the city had begun closing their restrooms to the public. Starbucks told us that the controversial new "policy" was completely untrue, but that hasn't stopped the NY Times from trying to dig up some potential new pee policies—such as bathroom attendants and receipt-only restrooms.
Will Starbucks Introduce Attendants, Receipt Codes For Bathrooms?
Charging $1 To Pee At Brooklyn Barber Shop Causes Some Women To Wig Out
9/11 Memorial Museum planners take notice: people get pissed when there is a barrier to peeing. 31-year-old Brooklyn barber Nicholas Curtis learned this lesson after a group of disgruntled, cross-legged revelers from the West Indian Day Parade descended upon his shop. After allowing folks to pee freely all day, they began instituting a $1 fee to use the bathroom after the toilet became clogged, as a "nuisance tax." But it became more of a nuisance for Curtis and friends when a group of women who refused the tax came back with some male muscle. "We're tussling with them. I was just hitting," Curtis tells the Times. But he was actually hitting a woman with a wig: "My hand tangled in her hair and it fell off."
Bob Turner's Wife Doesn't Want Weiner's Washroom Cooties
Our newest member of congress, Bob Turner, had a very busy day yesterday. Beyond getting sworn in and making a tiny procedural gaffe his first time at bat, he had a day full of meetings and congratulations. Also, he found Anthony Weiner's old toothbrush and requested that his office bathroom be sanitized post haste.
Are These Really The Two Best Restrooms In New York?
Now that Mars Bar is gone, the competition for filthiest city bathroom is wide open (we nominate Lit) but what about the city's best bathroom? Where can you find that? Well, the Internet has an answer for you. For the tenth year running the bathroom services company Cintas is holding an online competition to find America's Best Restroom—and New York City has two of the nominees.
Never Forget...To Use The Bathroom Before Visiting The 9/11 Memorial
The National 9/11 Memorial and Museum is on track to open in time for the tenth anniversary of the attack, but it seems that there's just one little problem: you may have to hold it in while you're there. "Visitors will be provided with information to help plan their visit, including being advised that bathrooms will not be accessible on the site," Bloomberg spokesman Andrew Brent told the Post.
Best Bathroom in US Nominees: Bryant Park, The Muse Hotel
Man's right to an accessible, respectable bathroom in this city is sacred, as seemingly undeniable as asking for tap water at a restaurant. Back in the winter, the tension over bathroom rights even brought the entire street vendors industry to a halt briefly. So in comparison, the search for the best toilets seems practically quixotic, the luxury of those who already have. Nevertheless, one website has been searching for and awarding the "most unique, impressive" bathrooms in the US for the last eight years.
College of Staten Island Builds Unisex Bathrooms
In an effort to make the campus a friendly place for transgender students and people with small children, the College of Staten Island is reconstructing one bathroom in each building to be gender neutral. "It's common sense, really," said Professor Dr. Syed Rizvi. "It provides people with a safe environment to perform basic human functions." The conversions don't seem too difficult either. Eight men's rooms were changed to unisex with the simple addition of a lock on the main door.
The Seach for a Clean Public Restroom
The city's subway bathrooms may be "overflowing with filth," but is it the same case for the bathrooms in the city's parks? Though there are a few websites out there with databases of free public restrooms (including Starbucks: "America's Restroom"), there are only 19 restrooms throughout the sprawling 843 acre Central Park, and not many elsewhere. The Times' Ariel Kaminer set out to see which of all the city's parks were the cleanest.
Airline Introduces Women-Only Bathrooms
Will unisex bathrooms on planes soon vanish into thin air? CNN is reporting that Japanese airline All Nippon Airways is introducing women-only lavatories on its international routes starting next week, though they have no plans to designate men-only facilities. The move came after many customers spoke up asking for the separation, but the airline says there are exceptions—such as when a restroom is required for safety reasons or "when there are very few female passengers." A poster at FlyerTalk said, "The lavatories are scarce enough already. The last thing we need is more restriction of choice."

