The Mets have spent their offseason cutting coupons, selling off pieces of their outfield, and generally lowering expectations about the team's immediate future to the point where a healthy Daniel Murphy seems about as good as it could get. The sorry state of the franchise is not lost on its long-suffering fans, who took to Twitter today to mock the organization's decision to bring back homemade Banner Day—for the first time since 1996—by creating the hashtag: #MetsRejectedPromotionalDates. Below, check out twenty of our favorite pathetic, imaginary Mets promotional dates.
Top 20 Saddest #MetsRejectedPromotionalDates Tweets
Photos: Yankees Tickets Still Wildly Expensive
Sure, when it comes to professional sports it seems as though most New Yorkers are pretty focused on football, basketball and hockey these days. But the next never ending baseball season is right around the corner. How do we know? Because while the Mets are selling off their crap, yesterday the Yankees started their annual select a seat event—in which season ticket holders can trade up their seats. And boy, those premium tickets ($1575 per game available only for all games!) still rankle. As our spy put it, they "make the ones five rows back from home plate for $260-a-pop seem a positive steal..."
Mets Literally Auctioning Off Unwanted Pieces Of Citi Field
While the Yankees have been busy amassing a killer rotation and becoming the most dangerous team in the AL East again, the Mets have spent their winter cutting coupons out of the paper and binging on boxes of chocolate. And now, they're taking their penny-pinching to new levels: the team is literally auctioning off pieces of the discarded outfield wall in Citi Field. Because who wouldn't want to own a giant "Wheat Thins" ad?
Derek Jeter, Minka Kelly Appreciate Art in Paris
Thanks to a Pepperdine University student's Tweet, now everyone knows that Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly are sorta back together. Jaime Olaez wrote on Thursday, "Just saw @minkakelly with her boo Derek Jeter at the Musee d'Orsay in Paris, France. How'd ya like the art, you two?" giving tabloids a late 2011 gift of new news.
For $20 Million, The Mets Should Give You These Perks
The NYTimes has a feature today on some of the incentives being offered to investors willing to give $20 million to the financially struggling Mets. The club is looking for approximately 10 suckers minority share owners—their investments would give them four percent stakes in the team each, while leaving Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz as majority owners. And seeing as how they're not going to attract any Donald Trumps, the organization is sweetening the pot with some added perks, such as access to Mr. Met, an exclusive fantasy camp, and business cards reading "owner." But if someone's gonna help bail out the perpetually-disappointing Mets, we think some better incentives might be in order:
Jose Reyes Wasn't Worth $106 Million Box Of Chocolates To Mets
Though they were unsuccessful in their pursuit of slugger Albert Pujols, who signed with the Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim today, the Miami Marlins have plenty to be happy about this offseason; yesterday they introduced the keystone of the new team, their $106 million star Jose Reyes. Reyes told reporters that the Marlins really made him feel wanted—they even arranged a midnight meeting the night he became a free agent. Reyes sounded particularly disappointed that the Mets made almost no effort to keep him in town, which general manager Sandy Alderson later addressed: “If you’re asking whether I should have sent him a box of chocolates, perhaps I should have done that. But on the other hand, the box of chocolates would have cost $106 million.”
Show Me The A-Rod Money: Pujols Takes $250 MIllion Over 10 Years To Go To Angels
ESPN is reporting that St. Louis Cardinals slugger—and arguably the best hitter in baseball— Albert Pujols has agreed to a 10-year deal for at least $250 million with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Yahoo Sports' Jeff Passan points out some harsh facts about the huge contract: "Alex Rodriguez was 32 when he signed his 10-year deal. Four seasons into it, he's a shell of himself. Albert Pujols turns 32 in January." For their sake, hopefully this doesn't mean Angels fans get to look forward to raging insecurities, an endless parade of busty blondes, and popcorn incidents.
Mets Officials Reportedly Expect Team To Suck Until At Least 2014
Where to begin? After the Mets lost out on re-signing their star shortstop Jose Reyes, who is reportedly taking a $102 million deal from the Florida Marlins, the local papers are opining about the once-Amazin's prospects. The Post's Joel Sherman explains why the Mets should trade David Wright now and offers others ideas about potential team rosters, and adds this, "Privately Mets officials will say they do not see the likelihood for strong contention before 2014."
Mets Break Fans' Hearts Again: Reyes Signs $102 Million Deal With Marlins
Mets fans are used to bad news, but the scuttlebutt that the team failed to re-sign Jose Reyes, their star shortstop and the only good thing in the organization this past season, seems to be the worst news in a really long time. Sources say Reyes has agreed to a $102 million deal over six years with the Florida Marlins, with a $22 million option for a seventh year plus a guaranteed $4 million. The Marlins had initially offered $90 million over six years, but now the Miami Herald reports, "By increasing their offer to Reyes, they knocked the Mets out of the running to hang on to their shortstop. The Mets were reportedly willing to give Reyes no more than five-year deal worth $75 to $80 million."
Red Sox Hire Charismatic Ex-Mets Skipper Bobby Valentine As New Manager
The Red Sox have hired colorful and controversial former Mets skipper Bobby Valentine as their new manager. Valentine, who managed the Mets for six seasons and led them to the World Series in 2000, will take over for Terry Francona following the Sox's historic collapse at the end of last season. Below, relive our favorite Valentine's moment with the Mets—when he put on a fake mustache to sneak back into the dugout after getting ejected from a game:
Jerry Seinfeld Preps For Post-Reyes Mets By Naming His Dog..."Jose Reyes"
Major League Baseball approved the sale of the Houston Astros today, which brought with it more changes to baseball: the Astors will move from the NL Central division to the AL West, and there will be one more wild card playoff team in each league, creating a one-game playoff after the regular season ends. But while this will be good for competition across the league, it probably doesn't mean much to Mets fans out there right now, who are facing another disappointing, disheartening season, this time likely without star shortstop Jose Reyes. And prominent Mets supporter Jerry Seinfeld told David Letterman he's dealing with the stress in a unique way: by naming his new dog "Jose Reyes." Watch below:
$122 Million Man: CC Sabathia Gives Yankees One More Year
While the Mets are tweaking their field, the Evil Empire is busy spending money the best way it knows how: On players. The Yankees completed a deal that will keep CC Sabathia as a Yankee next year and even longer. He Tweeted yesterday, "Yankee fans, I’ll be here fighting for number 28 next year!" and linked to this information and video, where he thanks the Steinbrenner family: "My goal the whole time was to be able to finish my career as a Yankee
I look forward to seeing everybody out at the ballpark next year.”
More Changes For Citi Field, Where You'll Soon Be Able To Hit A Homer With A Toothpick
Now that we're officially in baseball's off-season, the Mets announced several changes to Citi Field for the 2012 season, making the park a bit friendlier for hitters. Both the left and right field walls are moving in and the height of all walls will be a uniform eight feet. And if you're tired of those slimming black walls, the walls are going back to the glorious blue that graced Shea Stadium when it closed. The new walls are up to 12' closer and the zig-zag-like pattern to right center field will be uniform.
Video: Zooey Deschanel Sings "Star-Spangled Banner" At World Series, And It Was Just Adorable
Zooey Deschanel sang the "Star-Spangled Banner" at last night's game and it was just adorable, you guys.
Cardinals Star Albert Pujols Has Historic World Series Night
Sportswriters were wetting themselves with joy last night as St. Louis Cardinals superstar Albert Pujols, arguably the greatest hitter of the last decade, had a historic night in Game 3 of the World Series. Pujols hit three home runs—and went 5-for-6 with six RBIs—against the Texas Rangers as the Cardinals went on to crush the Rangers 16-7 to take a 2-1 lead in the series (watch highlights here). The only other players to hit three home runs in one World Series game? Yankees legends Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson.
Big Papi Interested In Playing For The Yankees
With General Manager Theo Epstein having jumped ship for the woeful Chicago Cubs, the Red Sox have completely imploded since they collapsed down the stretch of this past season. With everyone in Boston collectively freaking out all at once, the team looks set for a complete overhaul. It's so bad, David Ortiz, one of their biggest sluggers of the past decade, is fed up with all the drama...and thinking outloud about the possibility of joining the Yankees.
Donald Trump Thinks A-Rod Is A Loser
With one giant swing and a miss from star Alex Rodriguez, the $196 million Yankees season came to a pathetic ending last night against the Detroit Tigers. And with that final whiff (which you can rewatch below), the vitriol poured forth from sportswriters, Yankees haters and even Donald Trump across the web: "A-Rod is a less than average baseball player now that he is unable to use drugs. A-Rod misrepresented to the Yankees. He used drugs. They should cut his salary to $5 million a year -- tops!" Trump tweeted.
Last Night's Action: Yankees Out Of Playoffs As Tigers Win Third ALDS Game
This is what $196 million gets you: The Yankees are out of the 2011 playoffs after losing Game 5 of the ALDS, with the Detroit Tigers winning at Yankee Stadium, 3-2. Let the recriminations begin!
Last Night's Action: Coming Back Home
The Yankees' offense finally woke up as they battered Detroit 10-1 to force a Game 5 showdown Thursday at the Stadium. The surprise of the year was AJ Burnett allowing only one earned run while lasting almost six innings to earn the win. Kudos should go to Curtis Granderson, who made two enormous defensive plays to keep Detroit in check. Ivan Nova will face Doug Fister with an ALCS spot on the line Thursday in the Bronx.
Last Night's Action: Yanks Pushed to Brink
The Yankees' season rests on the shoulders of A.J. Burnett after a 5-4 loss to Detroit. How did that happen? CC Sabathia had trouble with his control -- and the strike zone of umpire Gerry Davis -- en route to a six-walk performance. He left with one out in the sixth after allowing four runs. The Yankees, who led 2-0 after four batters, then gave up four straight runs before rallying to tie the game on a two-run double by Brett Gardner. Rafael Soriano gave the lead back to Detroit when Delmon Young took him deep with one out in the seventh. Except for the hiccup in the first (Curtis Granderson hit an RBI triple and Alex Rodriguez knocked him in with a groundout) and the seventh, Justin Verlander had his way with the Yankees. Every Yankee struck out at least once, and the likely Cy Young Award winner rung up 11 in total. Derek Jeter ended the game by striking out with runners on first and second base.
Last Night's Action: Close, But No Cigar
The Yankees almost puled off a miraculous comeback against Detroit Sunday, but fell short 5-3. Trailing 5-1 entering the 9th, Nick Swisher led off with a home run. Jorge Posada followed with a triple (yes really a triple) and Russel Martin walked. With runners on the corners and no outs, Andruw Jones laced a ball to right, but it was caught. Jorge Posada scored on the play to make it 5-3. Derek Jeter struck out and Curtis Granderson walked, bringing Robinson Cano to the plate as the winning run with the rain pouring down. Cano hit a soaring pop up near the Tigers dugout for what should have been the third out, but the Tigers' catcher stumbled and couldn't make the play. The stage was set for a Hollywood ending, but Cano grounded out to second and the series is all tied up.
Last Night's Action: Yanks Draw First Blood in ALDS
They needed two nights and two starting pitchers, but the Yankees finally took Game 1 of their American League division series against the Tigers. Ivan Nova "started" the game -- it resumed in the bottom of the second after rain delayed it Friday -- and held the Tigers in check. He worked into the ninth and didn't allow a run until after he left the game. He struck out five and walked four. Robinson Cano took care of the rest, knocking in six runs. He hit a go-ahead double off the top -- very top -- of the left-field wall and then hit a grand slam in a six-run sixth. For good measure, he added an RBI double in the seventh. Brett Gardner had a key two-strike single that turned a 2-1 lead into a 4-1 advantage. The only downside? Luis Ayala struggled in relief of Rivera, and the Yankees had to turn to Mariano Rivera to throw three pitches.
Last Night's Action: Amazing
Evan Longoria hit two home runs, the second to give Tampa a playoff spot as the Rays beat the Yankees 8-7 in 12 innings. Tampa overcame a 7-0 deficit with six runs in the 8th and a game-tying homer in the 9th from Dan Johnson. The Yankees will head home to face the Tigers and Justin Verlander in the ALDS while their hated rival, the Red Sox, will simply head home.
Mets To Newark: No Triple-A Yankees For You!
Clearly, the Mets hate Newark. Rather than let the largest Jersey city enjoy a year of being home to a AAA team, the Mets have exercised their territorial rights and blocked the Yankees' Scranton, Pennsylvania, farm team from spending a year playing in Newark while its Scranton-Wilkes Barre stadium undergoes renovations.
Last Night's Action: Yanks Give Red Sox No Help
With the Rays and Red Sox fighting for the American League's wild card, the Yankees still have a role to play. For the second straight night, they lost to the Rays, dropping a 5-3 game on Tuesday. With Boston's 8-7 win over the Orioles, the Rays and Red Sox remain tied entering the season's final day on Wednesday. The Yankees started Bartolo Colon and used Rafael Soriano, David Robertson and Mariano Rivera in relief. But they still hit into a triple play -- Russell Martin hit a sharp grounder to third with the bases loaded -- and blew a chance to open up their 3-2 lead. Instead, they fell behind to keep some excitement in this season's final stretch. In Wednesday's season finale, they won't be pitching anyone who will be on the postseason roster, so the Rays could very well sweep them. No matter who wins the wild card, the Yankees will open the playoffs Friday at home against either Texas or Detroit.
Last Night's Action: No Wins Here
Other than figuring out a playoff roster, the Yankees don't have anything to play for over the final three games of the year. Tampa, on the other hand, is fighting for its playoff life. That makes Tampa's 5-2 win unsurprising at best. The Rays took advantage of Hector Noesi, who was making the second start of his career. James Shields stymied the Yankees, allowing only six hits and two runs while falling one out short of a complete game. The win by Tampa and a Red Sox loss means the two teams are tied for the final playoff spot in the AL.
Last Night's Action: Giants Over Eagles, Jets Lose in Oakland and Rivalries in Baseball
Giants 29, Eagles 16: Well, it certainly wasn't supposed to end up like this. After the off-season moves by the Eagles, and the lack of them by the Giants, a win on the road by the Giants wasn't expected. Eli Manning managed to pass for four touchdowns with no interceptions (!!!). The Giants also forced the Eagles into three turnovers, with an interception off Michael Vick and two more off his backup, Mike Kafka. Vick left the game after breaking his hand in the 4th quarter.
Yankees Post-Season Tickets On Sale (Oh, And, Russell Martin Hates The Red Sox)
Now that the Yankees have clinched their 50th playoff spot and are the American League East champs, 2011 post-season tickets are now on sale at Yankees.com. Here's what the Pinstripes say:
Due to a limited number of tickets available for sale, a maximum of two (2) Tickets to one (1) potential game (the "Ticket Limit") scheduled to be played at Yankee Stadium (each a "Game" and, collectively, the "Games") during the 2011 American League Division Series ("ALDS") and/or the 2011 American League Championship Series ("ALCS"). A maximum of four (4) Tickets in total, but no more than two (2) Tickets to one (1) potential game of the ALDS and two (2) Tickets to one (1) potential game of the ALCS may be purchased. Only a LIMITED number of Tickets (as determined by the New York Yankees in its sole and absolute discretion) will be made available during the On-Sale.more ›
Last Night's Action: One To Enjoy
In a season with far too few high points, the Mets 8-6 victory over St. Louis was a welcome respite. Trailing 6-1 entering the 8th, New York staged a great comeback with some help from the Cardinals' error-prone defense. New York scored a run in the 8th, thanks to a passed ball. Willie Harris walked to start the 9th and then Nick Evans hit a tailor-made double play ball that Rafael Furcal booted. Instead of two outs and no runners on, the Mets had two runners on and no outs. After a fly out, the Mets drew consecutive walks to force in their third run. Jose Reyes singled in a run and then Ruben Tejada doubled home two more runs to tie the game at 6. David Wright struck out for the second out of the inning, but Willie Harris put the Mets in the lead with a two-run single. Bobby Parnell pitched a perfect 9th for his 6th save.
Last Night's Action: Yankees Spray Champagne
Thanks to a September slump from the Red Sox and a two-run single fmrom Jorge Posada, the Yankees can call themselves champions of the American League East following a doubleheader sweep of the Rays on Wednesday. Posada hit his single in the eighth -- he thought it was the ninth -- to give the Yankees their 16th playoff berth in 17 seasons. The Red Sox lost to Baltimore and lead both the Rays and Angels by 2 1/2 games. They may make the playoffs, but they likely won't look good doing it.

