Hey, you! Do you have an outstanding summons warrant? The Brooklyn DA would like to help you out. Like, really help you out. Though today's session is already over if you head to Mt. Pisgah Baptist Church (212 Tompkins Avenue) tomorrow between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m., court and defense attorneys will be on hand to help you resolve your case [PDF]. It isn't quite a "get out of jail free card" but, they say, "favorable consideration will be given to those who participate." And that's not a bad thing for the marijuana arrest capital of the world.
Brooklyn DA Gives Out Amnesty To Potheads, Loiterers, Late Night Park Goers
The Secret Contraband Stash At Rikers Island
According to the NYTimes, there were 393,394 visits to Rikers Island to see inmates last year. It seems that many of those visitors are trying their darndest to pass contraband along—and the NYPD finds a cornucopia of valuable goods as a result: “We find a whole host of stuff,” said the New York City Department of Corrections’ chief deputy, Carmine LaBruzzo. “Live ammunition. Cellphones, beepers, iPads, iPods.”
Kids No Longer Thwarted By Library Fines
Young bookworms who can't keep track of a deadline are no longer in danger of losing their borrowing privileges at the library, thanks to a new measure granting thousands of kids amnesty from late fees. Call off the book detectives!
Palin Visits Statue Of Liberty & Ellis Island, Heads To Fox News
After a "low key" meal of Famiglia's sausage and pepperoni pizza in front of thousands of people in Times Square with Donald Trump last night, Sarah Palin retired to the Hyatt in Jersey City. The Hyatt makes sense as being a stop along Palin's tour of "the great things in America" along with Mount Vernon and The Liberty Bell, because it was the site of the Great Ice Machine Miracle of 2003, when Dwayne Hicks shook a broken ice machine to provide cold libations to everyone on the 4th floor. Today, Palin and her daughter Piper visited Liberty Island and Ellis Island, including a tour of the Statue of Liberty.
MTA Scofflaws Get Amnesty During October
Criminals: did you jump a turnstile? Spray-paint a subway car? Haven't paid your ticket in 25 years? Well during the whole month of October, the Transit Adjudication Board is offering you a deal; if you pay the original fine on your ticket and they'll waive all those nasty late fees! The MTA is hoping the deal will encourage the scofflaws to fork over some much-needed cash, but the TAB says there's a lot in it for the ticket holders as well.
North Korea Wanted Bill Clinton To Retrieve Journalists
Yesterday, the country witnessed the dramatic reunion between formerly imprisoned journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling and their families, a reunion orchestrated by former President Bill Clinton, his former Vice President Al Gore, and the White House. Though the White House was working to secure the release of Lee and Ling, Current TV journalists who were sentenced to 12 years in a labor camp by North Korea for illegally entering the country, and had considered envoys like Gore, Bill Richardson, and Senator John Kerry, it turned out that North Korea requested former president Clinton. Lee and Ling, who were being held in a guest house, both told their families in phone calls that North Korea would consider amnesty if "an envoy in the person of President Clinton would agree to come to Pyongyang and seek their release."
Amnesty For Connecticut Owners of Exotic Pets
Since Connecticut has banned the ownership of exotic animals—including gorillas, chimps, orangutans, lions, leopards, cheetahs, jaguars, ocelots, bobcats and other big, wild cats, wolves, coyotes and bears—as pets, the state is offering a one-day amnesty program that will allow people to bring in their exotic and illegal pets to a zoo without repercussions. The Connecticut Post reports, "All animals collected become property of the DEP... homes will be found for the animals, though probably not at the zoo. Most of the pets will likely go to wildlife sanctuaries or other agencies equipped to handle them." The director of the Beardsley Zoo, where owners can turn in their pets on July 25, Gregg Dancho said he's seen monkeys hanging out in kitchen and people walking mountain lions, "A lot of times, this is impulse buying." Oh, this reminds us of Ming, the tiger found in a Harlem apartment nearly six years ago.

