[UPDATE BELOW] Actors' Equity has issued a statement declaring that performances of the beleaguered $65 million Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark "will not resume until back-up safety measures are in place." Or, as John Kerry might have put it, how do you ask an actor to be the last actor to die for a mistake? New York State Department of Labor inspectors are currently at the Foxwoods Theater, where the rock musical is performed, and DoL spokesman Leo Rosales tells us inspectors are carefully examining all the moving parts and cables, with a particular focus on the equipment involved in the accident last evening, when Spider-Man's stunt double Christopher Tierney plummeted nearly thirty feet. more ›

They bought it! At a closed-door hearing yesterday in front of a committee comprised of union actors and producers' reps, Jeremy Piven was able to convince his fellow thespians that he had no choice but to quit Speed-the-Plow last December because of dangerously high mercury levels. The five actors on the panel all sided with the Runaway Jury star, while the five members of the Broadway league agreed with the show's producers, who say Piven faked mercury poisoning because he was bored and wanted to get back to sunny L.A. more ›

If the would-be Broadway-bound musical Lone Star Love is half as entertaining as the backstage drama, then sign us up: Randy Quaid, the show’s former star, has been banned from the Actors' Equity union for life because of abusive, lewd and just plain crazy behavior during the show’s Seattle run. Quaid has also been fined $81,572, which equals two weeks pay for the cast of the $6.5 million show; producers claim they had to prematurely close because of Quaid’s hi jinks. The Post’s Michael Riedel got the rap sheet:
• Quaid hit an actor on the back of the head four times during performances. When the stage manager told him to stop, he smacked the actor again.
• Another actor was warned that if he made direct eye contact with Quaid onstage, he'd be fired.
• Quaid made "sexually inappropriate" comments onstage, repeatedly referring to an actress' musical instruments as her "gynecological instruments."