Almost no hitter has been happier after a strikeout. Billy Crystal, who turned 60 today, had the opportunity to play for the Yankees in their Spring Training game against the Pirates yesterday. Leading off and serving as the DH -- he said it stood for Designated Hebrew -- Crystal got a piece of one pitch and chopped it foul down the first-base line. He also showed a good eye to work the count to 3-1, but then Pirates lefty Paul Maholm threw the comedian two cut-fastballs, and Crystal proved why 59-year-olds don't play Major League Baseball. To make matters worse, home-plate umpire Mark Carlson said Crystal swung at ball four. more ›

Even if it's only in a preseason game, and even if it's only against the Pirates, Billy Crystal will realize his lifelong dream of playing for the Yankees. The team announced Monday it had signed him to a one-day minor-league contract. Publicity stunt? Sure. But as far as the Yankees, who will send him to the field Thursday, see it, a harmless one. more ›

My endorsement of this measure, issued in blue covers, first referred to as the “blue Bills”, have come to be known, on late night Talkshows, as “The Blue Balls.” This, while accurate, is disrespectful to my Office. more ›

A look at some noteworthy television this week: Art in the Twenty-First Century (Sunday, 10:00 p.m., WNET 13) Four artists - Robert Adams, Mark Dion , Iñigo Manglano-Ovalle Ursula von Rydingsvard – who explore the intersection between nature and culture. Billy Crystal: The Mark Twain Prize (Monday & Thursday, 9:00 p.m., WNET 13; Saturday, 7:30 p.m. WLIW 21) Billy Crystal receives the tenth annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at the Kennedy Center in... more ›

Not quite outdoing her husband's 60th birthday bash at the Beacon last year (which starred the Rolling Stones and was filmed by Martin Scorsese), Hillary Clinton entered a new age last night. Choosing the same venue to celebrate her 60th in, the music was provided by Elvis Costello and the Wallflowers (apparently no one from her campaign song list was available), and Billy Crystal provided some humor. The AP reports that she likened herself to the Wallflowers Jakob Dylan (perhaps not the best idea) saying that "no matter how much her family connections may have helped propel her candidacy, she ultimately will win or lose on her own." Maybe she'll have more success than Jakob. more ›

As he stumps for various Repubican candidates vying for win durings the 2006 elections, Rudy Giulaini is, more than ever, bandied about as a possible 2008 presidential candidate. The NY Times has a big article about Giuliani - and the GOP - riding his September 11 coattails. Given that Giuliani is a difficult hybrid of stances - pro-gay rights, pro-gun control, pro-choice, very divorced (and Italian, to boot!) - focusing on September 11 is all there is, and supporters do seem to love Rudy because of "9/11" and, uh, fighting crime. But beyond that, they don't know much about him - one of Iowa's leading Republicans said he didn't know anything about Bernard Kerik or toxic dust at Ground Zero. more ›

Did you see the crazy Post article about baseball groupies in the city? We say crazy because it gives readers tips on developing on MO to have a fling with players:

This, [Melody] says, is how it works: She'll get a call or a text (sometimes from one of her players, sometimes from a go-between) to tell her that the team is in town and does she want to party? more ›

Jon Fisch, Comedian more ›

JC: ALL RIGHT! I just took extra Vitamin C - I'm waiting for some food delivery. more ›

, about the length of the Tony-award winning play he wrote and turned into the memoir. The success of the play, coupled with Crystal's brilliant sense of humor, prompted me to pick up the sort of book I wouldn't normally read - one with the author's photo featured prominently on the cover. Unlike other celebrity memoirs, though, Crystal's 700 Sundays isn't about his fame or fortune or the perils therein. 700 Sundays is about family. Heading to spend the holiday weekend with mine, I decided to give Crystal a chance to amuse and maybe even move me. more ›

Good lord. It's not even five minutes into the Emmys and Gothamist (and friends Aaron Dobbs of out of focus and a Gothamist contributor, and Margaret Lyons, formerly of Chicagoist) is very very frightened. There is no reason why Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas should force Doris Roberts to dance with them. Doris needs to get the AARP to fight the fight with her. Welcome to Gothamist's attempt to liveblog the Emmys, until the show drains every single molecule of life from us, which we believe will happen in the 10PM hour. more ›

Gothamist can always get a sense of what shows are crash & burning and which are just plain sizzling by an occasional perusal of the theater tickets for sale/wanted listings on the oh mighty list o Craig. A browse today tells us the following: more ›

via Yahoo reports on the huge abundance of one-person shows opening before Christmas. more ›

Nicole Beland, Writer/Girl Next Door more ›

The Yanks ended up dropping two of three in their weekend series with the Dodgers. Javier Vasquez lost the series opener 6-3 (box score) to former Yankee Jeff Weaver. After Weaver gave up three runs in the first inning, he settled down and held the Yankees scoreless for the next five innings. Eric Gagne came in to nail down the victory in the 9th. more ›

The show opens with Sean Connery introducing a montage of films, "Blah blah blah film blah humanity blah blah." Luckily, he is not wearing a puffy shirt, the way he did last year. Gothamist happens to like the Chuck Workman film montages. Unfortunately, it's not a Chuck Workman film montage but a film with Billy Crystal inserted into various Oscar nominated films from 2003. There's too much naked Billy, from the T3 spoof to Something There's Gotta Give. Lesson to anyone: Naked Billy Crystal can maybe be funny once. But more than that, people will demand their money back. He does mention A-Rod going to the Yankees and Michael Moore makes an appearance in the film, but still, it's going to be a long goddamn night. more ›

Also, doesn't it feel like Barbara Walters is scraping the bottom of the barrel with this year's special? Matt LeBlanc, Diane Keaton, Billy Crystal? Gothamist can read about Matt, who is the LEAST controversial of all Friends with Lisa Kudrow (where's the Percoset addiction? Pregnancy woes? Marriage to Brad Pitt?), in People and US and In Touch. Diane Keaton, she's cool, but we knows she's walks to the beat of her own drummer with wacky fashion sense. And Billy Crystal...wouldn't it have been more apropos to interview him while he was pimping 61*? more ›

The Post comes up with a few ideas for Oscar drinking games during the ceremony: more ›

Back in Gothamist's day, we didn't get to intern anywhere downtown or particularly hip, but our top internship moment was when we knew the bodega across the street would have the chicken soup Billy Crystal wanted to nurse his cold (Jean-Georges only served oxtail soup). more ›

David Letterman returned last night, to greet guest Billy Crystal, after spending the past couple week getting over the shingles. The Top Ten List was "Top Ten Good Thing About Having Shingles," with a sole entry: more ›