Leon Freilich

CHELSEA'S WEDDING LACUNAE Did you see or read about the bridegroom's parents and any of his ten siblings at the ceremony? Not me. Were they not invited or did they have another party at which they ...

GYRATING GOVERNORS Accidents will happen Especially in New York Where nobody seems able To find a scandal cork. First the state went and lost Eliot Spitzer, no crooker, But no gov can be brooked Li...

If you see someone riding a white bike, run him over....

I think that I shall never see A bicycle that's built for three Unless it's an objet d'art, Which will not take three persons far....

SORTA We already have the New York minute, Which is known to farmer and herder, And now people everywhere can talk of An enviable New York murder....

CROWDY DAY Christmas Day, Rockefeller Center, Madly where I went, Joining a flock of slow-moving tourist sheep, Mutton for punishment....

SUBWAY FAIR The subway always beats driving, And believe me I'm not crackers; When any train breaks down, You're not billed 400 smackers...

CONDOM CITY New York City gives away each year Condoms guaranteed not to tear-- Near forty million of the protectors, Employed in all the nabes and sectors. They're blessed by most of the local m...

Polar ice may vanish in 5-7 years--AP headline TITANIC ASSURANCE On Wall Street and in Greenwich The plutocrat reads and thinks All's well in this blessed world As long as there's ice for h...

THE TWO-HOME NEWLY POOR My weekend home's an upstate shack, The living is unbearable, And weekdays're also out of whack-- Now live in a pied-a-terrible. Why did I go and change my job And switch ...

NEWEST SURGE We've had enough Vietnams-- Drop the bombast, Not the bombs. ...

WHOLE MESS IN ONE Tiger, Tiger, burning bright, Wife unhinged throughout the night, Scratched his face and left a scar, Took a golf club to his car. Blondes are funny in their way, Fail to under...

MALE MENOPAWS Need to unclog Those crowded arteries? Chase choice chicks At Christmas parteries....

WHITE HOUSE WANNABE So you think Obama seems strangely detached. And what if I told you he knows he's mismatched, That he ran for the office like a dynamo To improve his chances for a real...

NO THANKS For liberal Democrats It hurts to have to snipe But sadly it must be said Hope turned out to be hype....