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Late last month, a bloodthirsty nine-year-old thug encouraged his classmates to violently assault a student at an Upper East Side school, by taping a sign that said "Kick Me" to the child's back. The unidentified tormentor got off easy with just a two day suspension, but now his mother is complaining to the NY Post that her little angel was punished too severely. But let's face it: today it's a Kick Me sign, tomorrow it's atomic wedgies, and by Junior High he's running a cock fighting ring behind the bike racks. And besides, the Education Department's strict anti-bullying rules leave administrators no choice but to make an example of the miscreant.

Tomorrow current and former Walmart employees will "bravely testify" at a City Council hearing that promises to put a human face on Walmart’s "long history of exploiting and mistreating workers, while creating dangerous and harmful work environments for its employees." As the controversial retailer tries to break into the NYC market, the disgruntled workers will share their horror stories about "the lack of bathroom breaks and the culture of fear management creates," according to a City Council statement. But today Walmart would like New Yorkers to focus on all the happy satisfied Walmart employees, like this patriotic war veteran featured in this slick new commercial:

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Islanders 4 Senators 3 (Shootout): They didn't fight, in fact they only recorded ten penalty minutes in the entire game. What the Islanders did do was grind out a win on Tuesday night. Michael Grabner tied things up at 2 with a shorthanded goal in the third period. Josh Bailey put New York ahead, but Ottawa tied things up with under five minutes to play in the third. Overtime didn't decide things so it went to a shootout where Frans Nielsen's goal and a save by Nathan Lawson gave the Islanders two points.

Last week, a man attacked a 96-year-old man in a Queens apartment building in order to steal the senior citizen's money. Now the victim is speaking out: Alfonso Scannapieco told the Daily News, "If I run into him, he's got to fight me. I'm still going to lose, but he's got to fight me."

Though most people know him from his Emmy-winning role for Best Actor as John-Boy on The Waltons, Richard Thomas has a career that spans far beyond the classic television series. Thomas debuted on Broadway at age seven in Sunrise at Campobello, playing FDR's son John Roosevelt, and has been working consistently in theater, TV, and film ever since. Last year Thomas appeared in Race, David Mamet's newest play about a powerful white man accused of raping a young black woman (Thomas played the accused). To say that the man has range would be a huge understatement.

Click through on the photos for the latest NYC restaurant reviews, which include Sam Sifton's dream of Bar Basque independence, Robert Sietsema's mixed feelings on Red Rooster, Steve Cuozzo's cranky complaints about Graffit, Jay Cheshes's disappointment wih Compose, and Adam Platt's underwhelming reaction to Ai Fiori.

Bernard Madoff has given his first behind-bars interview to NY Times reporter Diane Henriques, who is writing a book about his massive Ponzi scam, and he now says that other institutions—banks and hedge funds he wouldn't name— had to know his too-good-to-be-true returns were all smoke and mirrors. Madoff said, "They had to know. But the attitude was sort of, 'If you’re doing something wrong, we don’t want to know.'"

Last night Hickory the Scottish deerhound was crowned Best In Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Show, making her the first Scottish deerhound to ever take the prize. She won against competitors like bearded collie Mister Baggins, Jayne the Chinese shar pei, Adam the smooth coat fox terrier (picked to win by "wizard of odds" Johnny Avello), and apparently a muppet. (Just kidding! That furball is Malachy the Pekingese.) Judge Paolo Dondina of Italy said of Hickory, "This animal is like in the heavens. It's not of this world."

The Post got its paws on preliminary 2010 ridership statistics for the MTA and they are interesting. While overall ridership was down, all those fare hikes meant the MTA's bottom line was actually up. And the subway is as popular as ever. Total ridership on the rails hit 1.6 billion trips—an increase of 24 million trips from 2009. The only year when subway ridership was higher was 1950!

Jaime Marin Lopez Mendoza, the 27-year-old Dream Hotel employee who was convicted of raping a guest, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the assault. In December 2009 Mendoza had sneaked into a female guest's room, knowing that she and her boyfriend had come back intoxicated, and began to have sex with her as she slept. When she awoke to find him on top of her, he fled. Mendoza said at the sentencing, "I just want to say God bless you all, and to forgive us all. I will continue to fight for my freedom here because I am not a rapist."

February 2011 has been a good month for Derrick Oakes! First he saved a woman from the tracks of the East Broadway F station and walked away before being thanked. After a media blitz, he finally introduced himself to the woman he saved, which lead to a press-friendly dinner and a bunch of presents. And now Oakes, a 43-year-old maintenance worker, is going to receive a plaque for his good deed (and $2k to give to charity) at halftime at tonight's Knicks game. It's good to be the subway hero.

New York officials are pushing back hard against the House Republican budget proposal, which they say would hurt New York more than any other state. In NYC alone, the proposed budget would cut $452 million in funding, according to some estimates. (Representative Anthony Weiner says the GOP would cut $1 billion in funding to NYC.) If the Republicans get their way, the NYPD and local anti-terrorism programs would face big cuts, and the Daily News reports that there would be $38 million in cuts for schools, almost $122 million taken from the city Department of Housing Preservation and Development, $30 million in cuts for jobs programs and $139 million slashed from the Housing Authority. Here's video of upstate Congressman Maurice Hinchey accusing the GOP of behaving "like a blindfolded child at a piñata party":

Accused slasher Maksim Gelman is currently being held in the Bellevue psych ward after failing the intake physical and mental exam at Rikers Island, and yesterday he gave a chilling interview to reporters. On one hand, he admitted, "Sometimes, my mind isn't right," and said of his stabbing rampage, "The proof is in the pudding. I'm trying to make my peace with God!" But lest you think he's actually taking responsibility for his alleged action, he also ranted, "The DEA set me up. They were there the whole time. They let this happen, they're going to kill me. It's a conspiracy."

Everyone recovering alright from Phil Collins Day? Yesterday—the big day—we spoke to one of the organizers, who told us all of the chatter about the holiday she created was making her "a little nervous. I hope, that for all who come tonight, that they come to enjoy everything that Phil represents, and to have a great time." She started the annual celebration with friends five years ago, but this year upped the ante with a parade, a specialty pizza, masks, a Phil float... you get the idea. If you were unable to attend yourself, check out our photos above—complete with seriously creepy Phil Collins masks, a marching band, a Phil impersonator, and plenty of celebratory dancing in the streets.

Yesterday, CBS News revealed its chief foreign affairs correspondent, Lara Logan, "suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating" while covering reaction to Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak's resignation in Cairo's Tahrir Square last Friday. Logan returned to the United States the next day and was treated at a hospital; she is now recuperating at home. According to the Post, CBS News decided to make the statement because it started to get questions from other media outlets: A source said, "A call came in from The [Associated Press]... They knew she had been attacked, and they had details. CBS decided to get in front of the story."

The eight businesses on the Coney Island boardwalk that have been fighting eviction may accept a deal that would allow them to stay for one last summer, but guarantee their eviction at the end of the season. The foreign-run amusement giant Zamerpla, which controls the lease to the NYC-owned property, has for months been locked in a legal battle with Ruby's Bar & Grill, Beer Island, Paul's Daughter, the Grill House, Cha Cha's, Gyro Corner, Shoot the Freak and Coney Island Souvenirs. But now Amusing the Zillion reports that the owners are being offered leases for the 2011 season, on the condition that they go quietly in November.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is still complaining about the Jersey Shore cast giving his state a bad name—at a recent town hall meeting he declared, "we don't want them," and he allegedly plans to ask New York Governor Andrew Cuomo to reclaim the reality stars. But the show was never a New York thing, and cast members come from Rhode Island, New York and New Jersey.

Schools Chancellor Cathie Black hit another milestone yesterday when she made her first appearance in front of the Legislature in Albany. And, despite some disruption from the audience, the general sense is that she actually handled herself fine as she toed the Bloomberg education line. Good thing too, she apparently spent several weeks preparing for her nearly two-hour stint at the microphone.

Yesterday, Donald Trump became the newest egomaniac billionaire to show interest in purchasing the Mets in the midst of their recent legal troubles. However, like previous interested outspoken parties, Trump told reporters that he would only be interested in a controlling stake of the team. But the Wilpons made it unequivocally clear at spring training today that this isn't an option: “We’re not selling controlling interest of the team. It’s not on the table," COO Jeff Wilpon said.

In 2009 someone stole the pink goat that hung above the door of Cabrito in the West Village. Later that year, miscreants absconded with the Statue of Liberty replica from progressive Ditmas Park cafe Vox Pop. Now the latest establishment to lose iconic furnishing to theft is Park Slope's Barbes, where someone filched a small bust of Venezuelan physicist and do-gooder José Gregorio. Luckily, the bar has a pretty detailed description of the perp. In an e-mail to City Room, waitress Grace Kendall provided this description of the slightly drunk guy she thinks stole Gregorio:

Today's mid-day links: Google announces its digital content payment plans, a Ponzi schemer whose clients were celebrities makes a deal, possible Atlantic Yards development backtracking and more. You can follow Gothamist on Twitter and like us on Facebook!

In 1951 LIFE magazine documented a crew of demolition men—whom they dubbed The Wreckers—knocking down townhouses and other structures around the city. We're told that most of the photos available in their public archive are for stories that never ran, so this one likely never saw the light of day (there's no trace of it in the Google machine). There was plenty of destruction happening in the '50s, with high rises going up and brownstones coming down.

Did you see the map on local Weather Service website this morning? You do start your day by looking at their site, right? Anyway, the map doesn't show any advisories, watches or warnings of any kind for today. High pressure centered just to the southeast will bring us rather benign weather today and tomorrow. For most of us this afternoon's high will reach the mid 40s and tomorrow's should climb into the mid 50s. If you live close to a south-facing shore as the wind will be blowing off an ocean whose temperature is in the 30s.

Borders, the Michigan-based bookstore chain, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection this morning. The company says it will close 200 underperforming stores and "shed much of its staff." Borders Group President Mike Edwards said, "It has become increasingly clear that in light of the environment of curtailed customer spending... and the company's lack of liquidity, Borders Group does not have the capital resources it needs to be a viable competitor." In other words, Amazon has really taken a bite of out their business.

With the new Brooklyn Brewery opening and more and more bars offering extensive local brew options, it's clear that New Yorkers are consistently choosing tasty microbrews over Bud Light. And in that quest for hometown beer, sometimes you have to go to the source. Above is our guide to the city's best microbrews that are named for the bars in which they're served and often available only at that location. You can even use the map to go on your own beer tour of the city! Or you can just stay at one and drink all day. We don't judge.

Earlier this month, a former board president of the famed Dakota building on the UWS filed a lawsuit against the co-op board for not allowing him to buy a second apartment in the building, claiming that this was only the latest example of the board's persistently discriminatory and racist practices in controlling the building. But when we talked to current board president Bruce Barnes, he told us that Alphonse Fletcher Jr. was just bitter over being denied a second apartment, which they turned down because of his dubious "financial situation." And now, the Dakota is fighting back at the lawsuit publicly by revealing the details of that financial situation.

Yesterday CBS announced that Lindsay Lohan would be delivering the Top Ten on Thursday's The Late Show with David Letterman, via satellite from California. Today the show's production company announced that Lohan would not be appearing, explaining someone purporting to be a friend of Lindsay's booked the appearance. Turns out that person was actually her father. What an emotional rollercoaster this whole thing has been! But in case Lindsay has the urge to take it out on the bottle, Charlie Sheen has some words of advice—and we can all agree, that is just amazing. (Recently his words of advice have included: crack is okay if you can manage it socially!)

New York: "Pothole City." Last month, 311 got 1,781 calls about potholes, but City Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan said it's no problem because her team is out filling 2,000 potholes a day. Don't believe her? Check Tumblr. The Department recently announced their Daily Pothole Tumblr, which tracks the day's pothole repairs and lets users report potholes online. Just one more step towards our never having to speak on the phone again!

Following the Arcade Fire's win at the Grammys, it seemed like half the nation was asking: Who Is Arcade Fire? What started off as a post on BrooklynVegan, grew into its own Tumblr account, and by last night the band themselves caught wind of the meme. At the Brit Awards—while accepting one of their awards (they took home trophies for Best International Album and Best International Group)—Win Butler said, "We're called Arcade Fire—check it out on Google."