Sledgehammer Wine: For Men Comfortable In Their Masculinity

Yesterday Jezebel alerted us to a wine for girls called Be., but it's only white wine and everyone knows white wine is what you drink on your period. MEN drink red wine, and therefore, men drink Sledgehammer. "If you want a wine to swirl and sip while you analyze it, best move on and pick one with a foreign name and a picture of a chateau on the label." Woah woah, "Sledgehammer?" Wasn't that an artsy song by a prog rocker? Sounds a little complex to us, college boy. We'll stick to our usual: Quern.

If the startlingly accurate Black Keys cover band doesn't make you want to drink this wine while doing manly stuff, like playing eye contact-avoiding poker in the stall of a urinal, let Adam Corolla affirm his existence and explain why you're an utter coward if you refuse to fist-bump these burly tannins.

Sure, he probably could have just made the drill spin in the opposite direction, but brute force is a necessary part of making anything taste good. For instance, our favorite grilled chicken recipe calls for beating the shit out of a package of chicken thighs, then buying it a few rounds before we convince a few chicks to sing "Tubthumping" with us in a karaoke bar.

Sledgehammer also has two ground rules: "No Sipping. No Swirling." So you're either bonging that wine in a Russian bathhouse or ripping a hole between your ribs and just pouring the bottle straight into your chest cavity.

We haven't tasted either of the two varietals, Cabernet or Zinfandel, but tasting something before making a bold, confident opinion on it is for people who drink Be.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Christopher Robbins in Food on February 25, 2012 5:20 PM

Comments [rss]

aktobk

being a wino i have used the power drill technique for removing corks. usually though i'll just pop a wood screw in there an then yank out the cork using my leatherman. he could have just reversed the drill. but that would have just removed the cork screw leaving your poor booze still trapped like a genie. another fun way is using a screwdriver or other similar instrument and just jamming the cork all the way down past the neck. should wrap a towel around the mouth though. as this causes wine to shoot all over the place.

another favorite method is just plugging the drain in the sink and smashing bottles in there till its full. all the glass sinks to the bottom so just be sure to not scoop too deep with yer wine dipper.

smalll

Confident, not confidant.

Timon_8

A Chumbawamba reference AND an esoteric joke involving querns in the same piece? Color me gobsmacked!

Steve

"We haven't tasted either of the two varietals, Cabernet or Zinfadel"

really? how old are you, 14?

and it's spelled zinfandel

Mordicai

Translation: "Our wine tastes terrible. PS, don't you just HATE women? Me too, but TOTALLY in a straight way!"

RW

arghh, please stop the identity-branding-via-beverage-choice.

The Latin-targeted versions of this marketing strategy are egregious; this tops even those, in terms of cheesiness...

RobertMosesSupposesErroneously

The wine that's ONLY FOR MEN!
The coffee that's ONLY FOR ASIANS!
The grapefruit juice that's ONLY FOR MIDGETS!
The eggnog that's ONLY FOR LESBIANS!