Video: Finally, There's Sh*t New Yorkers Say

If you're their age but have never used a subway token, which I'm willing to bet is the case with these characters, then you're just not a New Yorker.

No self respecting New Yorker, Native New Yorker that is, would say any of the things in this video.  This might be said by what I call "wanna be" New Yorkers, the transplanted out of staters who thinks this is how one should speak in New York.  

The only thing I get from this is that New Yorkers are pretentious asses.  

Oh, and real New Yorkers curse, a lot.

Yeah, that shit was lame...

people are claiming real new yorkers don't talk like this
but old school upper west side types, and brooklyn heights people talk EXACTLY like this

it's the voice of pseudo intellectual new york, the kind who have always worked in publishing or other literary media related industries.

Shanghai was once a small fishing village. Now it's a huge clusterfuck of people and the biggest city in China. A stereotype of "native" Shanghainese is that they're extremely xenophobic. They hate in ascending order people from the neighboring provinces Zhejiang (NJ) and Jiangsu (CT), and not sure about everyone else but they hate those guys a lot. They have their own language and don't like speaking Mandarin when they deal with outsiders. They're snotty, materialistic, trend obsessed, and secretly complain about how crappy their city is.

Remind y'all of somewhere?

Scranton, PA?

Yup, electric city my ass.

Dinkins= Whore of the Orient pre-1949 that we everyone had a sense of nostalgia for ignoring the really bad parts, Giuliani = Communist Party under Mao Zedong, Bloomberg = some strange genetically engineered humanoid with Hu Jintao's Harmonious Society, Deng Xiaoping's economic reforms, and Jiang Zemin's sell China the fuck out so we can get rich quick.

Although I can only recognize 2 out of 4 of those Chinese politicians you mentioned and couldn't cite any of their policies myself. I'ma go ahead and like both of those comments cuz it sounds like you did yer research.

I took more Adderall than I normally do, so that was a bit of the insomnia doing its thing.

I think "sh*t" would be on that list, but I'm a transplant, so I'm just going by what I've experienced over the last two years...

This is exactly how we picture you big city emos down here in Tennessee. Grow a pair!

I'm not gonna go all internet rage or true-blue born and bred on it, but most of it should undeniably be renamed "Shit One Subset of New Yorkers Say."

At one point everybody who now lives in NYC has had their parents, grandparents, or somewhere else down the line, move to NYC to start a life. 

What is this nonsense "transplant" hate mongering?

This city is what it is because of and belongs to immigrants. Enough with the he/she sounds like a douchey midwestern kid. At one point your relatives were too. 

We get it. You were born and raised here. Great for you. Can you share your great city with us please?

"SHIT HIPSTERS WHO LIVE IN NEW YORK SAY" (taken from my friend so I won't take credit for that).  But he is correct.  I don't know any New Yorker (besides the Bagel quote) that says any of that shit.

I have a crush on Ilana

totally bogus since ordering in food wasn't ever mentioned.

You can exaggerate stereotypes if you can actually get the stereotype right ;)

it's pronounced bagels not baygullz

who the fuck brags about being here pre-9/11

According to wikipedia, 46% of people residing in Queens were born outside the US, making that borough more attractive to "non natives" as you put it, than any other. So New York is only "authentic" if it is people who are born in the city or people who are from other countries, and every person born in the US, but not in New York City is contributing to a culture of gentrification and inauthenticity? My boyfriend has lived his entire 30 years in Greenpoint and the only thing he can say to people who have misplaced nostalgia for the "bad old days" is how much nicer it is to live in a city that is safer and cleaner.

Eh. Not that funny. They left out a few important ones, like "HOLY SHIT look at the size of that rat and "PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME"

"Shit Midwesterners who moved to NY 5 years ago but claim to be New Yorkers say."

"Your mother works on 42nd st" Shit people who grew up in NY say

"My mom works the Deuce?!?

Well your pops works 53rd and 3rd motherfucker!"

Shit White HIpster Transplants Who Moved Here From Somewhere Else Say!

this is so FUCKING Contrived & stooopid. If you want to laugh & see what quick witty editing can do click  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

i.e. Shit Spanish Girls Say........R U L E S

Since when are Puerto Ricans "Spanish"?

This should be called "Shit People Who Moved To New York Say".

NYC as such was murdered in the mid-1990s and even the chalk outline of the body washed away some years back. Unless these kids were taking notes in grade school I don't think they've ever seen the place....

Edited: Alright - broke down and watched it. It's well made all around and hits a number of genuine notes in a mild self-parody of the lifestyles of these white cultured hupsters. I was looking forwards to a little righteous indignation to get my blood flowing but I can't hate this as much as I'd like to.....Just glad I don't know these people...

Next!

wah wah im old

The NY Times Metropolitan Diary! Shit Rich NYers say!

I do not consent to a search!!!!

"Fucouttahea":  I had to say it out loud to get it.  Hahahaaa.

Johnny Pump
Hoowah
Fucouttahea
Toidy Toid and Toid (33rd and 3rd)

^ Shit real NYers say.

They got some things, but they missed a crucial one:

"Get your SUV-sized stroller out of the fucking way."

Now that I think about it, you can't really have"Sh*t New Yorkers say" without having a wide array of races in it.

The guy that did "Stuff White People Like" should get all the residuals from these knock-offs.

I find it awesome how the majority of commenters missed the part about the video being a joke.

a very unfunny joke. or funny to the yupster class maybe...

Ok, now let's make a "Sh*t REAL New Yorkers say".

Should be called "things hipsters that moved to New York say" lived in New York my whole life not once have I said "I read the post ironically" nor "I read that in ______  in really pretentious voice" nor do i brag about being in NY on 9/11 they also completely misused the word schlep

I don't think you know what the word "hipster" means...if anything, you could call this "things single people in their 30s who make OK money and have no kids say." I mean, nothing about this even conforms to a hipster stereotype - no fixed gear bikes, liking obscure bands, nothing. Hipsters don't even read the newspaper, let alone care which one. Also, I'm a jew, and I use schlep in exactly that way. Perhaps your family always used it differently, but mine did not.

please correct if i am wrong i would much rather use it properly. But to me schlep has always been a verb meaning something along the lines of going somewhere begrudgingly and not hapy about it. i.e. I had to schlep my way up to the bronx for practice. Thats always been it for me and anyone ive encountered these guys used it as noun ("thats a schlep").

They are shmendriks

sounds about right!!!! :  )

I'M WALKIN' HERE

Better than shit my dad sez

Alas, Gothamist readers, there is no such thing as a 'real New Yorker.'

On the other hand, perhaps there is (one piece of) shit that asshole New Yorkers say: 

"Fuck you, you're not real a New Yorker."

Matt "Brooklyn" sounds like he's from Jersey. Don't worry Matt, you've lived here long enough.

I'm pretty sure people who are born and raised and live in NYC their whole life can be considered "real New Yorkers."

You do realize that a term that covers both someone who grows up at 86th and Riverside as well as someone who grows up in a housing project in Brownsville is so broad that it's basically meaningless?

I can't agree, I think even in those extremes, there's a common thread.  But I'm mostly referring to the the middle 85% of New Yorkers who have experienced a well-rounded sampling of City life. 

And might we know each other Jamie?

Maybe so, but what *is* that common thread? Is it enough to even begin to bridge the other very significant differences that divide those two people?

And no, I don't think we know each other. This isn't my real name, and I don't know anyone with yours.

Extra years of smelling piss in the Subways? lol.  Have a good one.

since this is a city of and built by immigrants and migrants, then the category "real nyer" as delineated by you turns out to be a poor guide to the soul of this city.

You win, anyone who lives in a place, no matter how long they've been there, is just as fluent in it's culture and history as someone who's lived there their entire life.   I'm no transplant-hater, by any means, I welcome everyone.  However, someone who lived in (insert location here) and then moved to New York, has a different rhythm than true- born and raised New Yorkers. 

Plus you say *sshole New Yorkers in your post.  That sounds like an outsider comment to me. ;)

New Yorkers are assholes. I'm a "real" New Yorker (born in NY Downtown Hospital, raised in Elmhurst Queens, not going to provide a birth certificate).
It comes from a lot of observation, waiting in lines, riding the subway, that we all fucking hate everyone else in this goddamn piece of shit city. We are all assholes. I'm saying that reflectively.

fair enough.  but this just creates a huge chasm between the born-and-raised new yorker and the nature of the city itself, which is an immigrant city.  

that is, insofar as NYC can be characterized in a simple, non-contradictory way, then it should be characterized at the very least as a place made as much by people who move here as by people who were born here.

The chasm between native New Yorkers and newcomers and out-of-towners is not bridgeable. My family got here in the 1870s. 140 years is a long time to settle into a place. My kids are 5th generation New Yorkers. We don't have a better perspective, just distinct from the newcomer's.

I don't care what anyone else says, but no matter how big and crazy, for us the city's our home town, plain and simple. For those who moved here, whether it's from Bangladesh or Baton Rouge, you have your own hometown and all that goes with it. Being less of a native New Yorker doesn't make you less of a person. If I moved to west Texas would I expect to be mistaken for a cowboy, even if I learned to ride and rope? Nope.

The chief difference between non-natives and natives is that the former come for some reason - a dream, a job, a lover, school, a change. For natives, we're here because our parents had us here and raised us here and we elected to stay on when we could have gone, which many do. The city is home in the truest sense. Childhood memories, deaths and births of family and old friends, lost - ghosts around the corner, school days, the sidewalk as emotional canvass, first loves.

But hey... if you moved to NY for whatever reason: enjoy, good luck, count your change and cross at the green, not in between.

Sure, no one expects you to seamlessly be a cowboy, but the vitriol for the people in this video from the commenters (I don't mean you) on this website is incredible. My boyfriend knows the girl, and told me that she's from Chicago. Now, that's hardly some cowpoke town. The idea that she and her brother could understand the rhythms of new york city life after living in the third largest city in the country is not far-fetched and hardly a reason to be screaming "MOVE BACK TO OHIO YOU FUCKING HIPSTER"

I agree... but I'm a fairly calm NYer and for no particular reason, I'm not much of a swear word type. I am, though, as my wife says (who is from Hawaii) "amped up." LOL. I sure don't think of Chicago as a cow town, although they need to get better baseball teams. :)

I found the video modestly amusing. As to the comments - vitriol drips. Ugh. One thing about anyone remotely associated with the city: they feel they must be too smart(ass) by half all the time.

I'd love to know where the person was from who screamed out the Ohio comment. It sure doesn't sound like the great majority of natives I know who are generally pretty nice, if a little brusque and perhaps overly fond of the truth. I wonder if it's a case of the "old newcomer" razzing the "new newcomer?"

Take care.

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say!  Well done!

No problem. Glad you liked it.

Not disagreeing with you matt.  My comment above was simple.  As a born and bred new yorker, who's immigrant family helped build this city generations ago, feels connected to the term- real new yorker.  If someone from say San Francisco also feels connected to that term, I have NO PROBLEM with it.  I think my comments were twisted to make it sound like I was holding exclusivity, not the case.

from what i've gathered so far...i suppose the only real difference then is that this 'real new yorker' you speak of is just more condescending and self-righteous. grats on living in one place your entire life.

Judgmental and condescending is all you hellfire.  Way to twist someone's words.  My comment above was simple and related to how I see myself in this City.  Perhaps you were influenced by other posts on this thread somewhere.  Also, i've lived other places, I suppose your ESP isn't tuned in today.  "grats" on drawing baseless conclusions.

Ho Hum

About as groundbreaking as an SNL skit. That is not a compliment.

Ilanaaaaa! Eliooooot!

Didn't sound like a NY'r to me.  Sounded more like a gay Californian - not that there's anything wrong with that, but he ain't no NY'r. Period.  I'd rather see 2 minutes of the best of Seinfeld for what real NY'rs say.

This is not funny. Also, what type of New Yorkers talk about the Post out loud? Nobody does. I also agree; Seinfeld any day over this crap.

Dude, according to Seinfeld, anything below 42nd St is not New York.  (You ever see the episode where Kramer gets lost at 1st and 1st?)

Great shit
"How can a street intersect itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"

Why is this comment in quotes?

If you never been to 1st and 1st, well foist you got to Toid and Toity-Toid and head sout'east, you know what I'm sayin? Maybe you can get a pal to walk you down there. Yo, I'm not jokin' ya. You jokin' me? You must be shtunad.

if they just named it "shit trendy post-grad NYers say" all would have been fine.

No mention of apartments or rent? Yeah, total Trustafarian artsy Billyburgs. Trying to seem outraged. Lame-O.

They do mention apartments - there is a whole section about thinking relatively small rooms are "big." Neither of these people live in Williamsburg, nor is any of the video shot there. One of the "characters" is a manhattanite who won't go to Brooklyn. The people look neither artsy, nor trustafarians. They look like some people in their 30s who live in New York.

Yeah but no mention of rent. Anyway, I'm done over-thinking this video.

when is the last time you went to williamsburg? no artists there anymore. only crappy boutiques and high end kids furniture shops. you are about 6 years behind with this comment.

They're all in Bushwick now. :-)

IDK man, I was walking home in Wburg yesterday and passed by Hair Metal, where there were plenty of trustafarians paying big money to look like they have no money.  Pretty easy to tell that those kids didn't have jobs.

Wow, angry much?

The "don't hit me. don't hit me. don't hit me. don't hit me. don't hit me. don't hit me. don't hit me." part doesn't ring true. It's more like, "I'm walking and you can wait."

I prefer classic movie quotes.

Because no New Yorkers live in Queens or the Bronx? 
Its cool. We make the same sound: "Brooooookklynnn? I don't GO there"

It doesn't matter. The hipster trash has invaded Astoria and Long Island City already.

Coming soon: "Sh*t Gothamist Commenters Say"

"I love their hummus"

"Tell that hipster transplant on the subway to eat his vegan lunch at home, get his bag off the seat, his dog in a carrier, and his fixie out of the doorway. And go back to Ohio!"

FUCK YOU VEGANS!

'Shit felixthecat says'

true. just cut and paste. haha.

funny how trendy NYers hate being poked fun at.

You'd think we had thicker skin.

poked fun at....by a bunch of goobs yo

something about cyclists

I almost didn't click on the article link, because I was afraid the stupid video would autoplay.  I still haven't watched the video, and I won't.  So there.

they forgot the most common line "oohhh, you live in jersey ? ughh". 

Agreed, this is more cornfield hipster shit than it is actual ny'ers.

A+

I would have added ..."it's in the meat packing district?? Ugh!"

or - "sorry, i dont go above 14th street."

faggot

this should have been posted in the "shit fucking morons say" area.