If you're their age but have never used a subway token, which I'm willing to bet is the case with these characters, then you're just not a New Yorker. 

No self respecting New Yorker, Native New Yorker that is, would say any of the things in this video.  This might be said by what I call "wanna be" New Yorkers, the transplanted out of staters who thinks this is how one should speak in New York.  

The only thing I get from this is that New Yorkers are pretentious asses.  

Oh, and real New Yorkers curse, a lot.  

Yeah, that shit was lame...

people are claiming real new yorkers don't talk like this
but old school upper west side types, and brooklyn heights people talk EXACTLY like this

it's the voice of pseudo intellectual new york, the kind who have always worked in publishing or other literary media related industries.

Shanghai was once a small fishing village. Now it's a huge clusterfuck of people and the biggest city in China. A stereotype of "native" Shanghainese is that they're extremely xenophobic. They hate in ascending order people from the neighboring provinces Zhejiang (NJ) and Jiangsu (CT), and not sure about everyone else but they hate those guys a lot. They have their own language and don't like speaking Mandarin when they deal with outsiders. They're snotty, materialistic, trend obsessed, and secretly complain about how crappy their city is.

Remind y'all of somewhere?

Scranton, PA?

Yup, electric city my ass.

Dinkins= Whore of the Orient pre-1949 that we everyone had a sense of nostalgia for ignoring the really bad parts, Giuliani = Communist Party under Mao Zedong, Bloomberg = some strange genetically engineered humanoid with Hu Jintao's Harmonious Society, Deng Xiaoping's economic reforms, and Jiang Zemin's sell China the fuck out so we can get rich quick.

Although I can only recognize 2 out of 4 of those Chinese politicians you mentioned and couldn't cite any of their policies myself. I'ma go ahead and like both of those comments cuz it sounds like you did yer research.

I took more Adderall than I normally do, so that was a bit of the insomnia doing its thing.

I think "sh*t" would be on that list, but I'm a transplant, so I'm just going by what I've experienced over the last two years...

This is exactly how we picture you big city emos down here in Tennessee. Grow a pair!

I'm not gonna go all internet rage or true-blue born and bred on it, but most of it should undeniably be renamed "Shit One Subset of New Yorkers Say."

At one point everybody who now lives in NYC has had their parents, grandparents, or somewhere else down the line, move to NYC to start a life. 

What is this nonsense "transplant" hate mongering?

This city is what it is because of and belongs to immigrants. Enough with the he/she sounds like a douchey midwestern kid. At one point your relatives were too. 

We get it. You were born and raised here. Great for you. Can you share your great city with us please?

"SHIT HIPSTERS WHO LIVE IN NEW YORK SAY" (taken from my friend so I won't take credit for that).  But he is correct.  I don't know any New Yorker (besides the Bagel quote) that says any of that shit.

I have a crush on Ilana

totally bogus since ordering in food wasn't ever mentioned.

You can exaggerate stereotypes if you can actually get the stereotype right ;)

it's pronounced bagels not baygullz

who the fuck brags about being here pre-9/11

According to wikipedia, 46% of people residing in Queens were born outside the US, making that borough more attractive to "non natives" as you put it, than any other. So New York is only "authentic" if it is people who are born in the city or people who are from other countries, and every person born in the US, but not in New York City is contributing to a culture of gentrification and inauthenticity? My boyfriend has lived his entire 30 years in Greenpoint and the only thing he can say to people who have misplaced nostalgia for the "bad old days" is how much nicer it is to live in a city that is safer and cleaner.