Kids' Bathroom Breaks Drive Teacher To Hold Extreme Constipation Contest

Sorry kid, second prize is a set of steak knives. (MarFot/Shutterstock)

Children: always with the pooping and the peeing, and often at inopportune times, like when Mrs. Warner is trying to educate the rotten bathroom-abusing fifth graders at P.S. 90 on Coney Island! According to an email obtained by Brooklyn Daily, Warner and the school's principal, Greta Hawkins, are fed up with students micturating and defecating whenever their indulgent little bodies want to cut loose. So they've implemented a rewards system where students who demonstrate the most self-control over the course of a week win an array of fabulous prizes, like stickers and pencils! The winners can then use these for fun activities while they recover from their bladder infections.

"Only one person at a time, they must have the pass, they have three minutes, they must sign in and out properly, and they must ask me," Warner wrote in an email to the principal. "If the procedures are not followed properly, they will receive a note home. I can’t think of anything else that would solve this problem. I am exasperated with the constant bathroom needs." Kids: so much easier to teach when they're still in diapers.

Parents say children at the school are given three bathroom vouchers at the start of the week, and encouraged to cross their legs and wait until lunch or recess. But if a weak-bladdered student absolutely must attend to nature's call, he or she is required to hand over one of their vouchers. Those who still have all three vouchers on Friday are the winners! Losers learn an important lesson about limiting their intake of fluids. Mrs. Warner and Principal Hawkins have not commented on the kerfuffle.

Of course, some parents think their little darlings should be able to indulge themselves whenever their bladders and bowels desire. Area mom Sandra Leon tells the Brooklyn Daily, "Eight hours a day for five days, three passes — that doesn’t make any sense. [My son] has a bladder problem and is getting surgery for it — and this is exacerbating it." Sheesh, it's gotten so a teacher can't have a character-building no-pissing contest without somebody raining on their parade. Don't look now, here come the potty police and their lavatory-licensing lawyers!

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By John Del Signore in News on January 18, 2012 1:00 PM

Comments [rss]

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Children should not be being held hostage over how often they need the toilet or for how long. Three minutes is totally ridiculous anyway. Most of us adults take longer than that. And SOME little girls of 10 will definitely need the toilet 'our of the blue' due to the fact that they are menstruating - and we can't all tell just how long our pad or tampon is going to last. If you need to change it .. you NEED to change it then and there. No excuses or arguments. Just the same as if you need the toilet. You don't force children to 'hold it' and cause life long bladder and bowel problems.

I am 57 and even in my day we didn't need passes - we just asked to go and went. We came back later and got on with our work. Those that took too long were checked out to make sure they weren't ill or hurt - or perhaps had gone awol. But at 10 years old no one was doing that anyway. We were treated like human beings and responded like one!

XYZ XYZ

This is yet another ridiculous ploy by some vendetta-driven imbeciles who unfortunately teach at the school. The principal is a remarkable educator who is consistently the subject of these absurd, and at times libelous, stories. No one bothers to report on less sensational goings-on at the school, like her commitment to providing additional, sorely-needed support to Special Education students or demanding that teachers actually step up to teach their students (as opposed to taking naps under their desks, as they had done under previous administrations).

Kids abuse going to the bathroom all the time. And in 5th grade? Anyone who has spent real time in an elementary school knows that as kids get older, the bathroom becomes a space for socializing and wasting time. Some can argue that the teacher isn't engaging them enough - cop out rationale. The teacher's intentions were not to abuse children, but to ensure that they are at least present for critical instructional time. The implementation of this idea went off-track but the story is being spun to a) generate ratings/readership and b) implicate the principal in yet another scandal by a group of incompetent idiots who should be stripped of their tenure.

michael l

Is this what we are reduced to? Instead of concerning ourselves with kids bathroom breaks why dont we worry about the type of education and guidance they are receiving at this school. Oh no, so the kid wont be bale to trade in his coupons for a pencil, who cares? I think it is ridiculous that this is what passes as news these days, you should be ashamed for wasting our time

Inconcievable de Impublishable

I would rip the teacher a new one for pulling this nonsense with my kid.

Jill Cranburn

This is a major issue, training our children not to go to the bathroom when they have the urge. Children sitting in school are getting the signal from their body that it was time to go. But can they go? No, you are making them ignore what their bodies are telling them. The problem that results from this is that the body will stop telling you that it is time to go to the bathroom. The muscles that hold back stool also become stronger and better at keeping stool from coming out.
Here is an interesting article on the subject of kids and constipation:
www.puristat.com/childrensheal...

dianken

Gosh, these kids have it easy. I went to Catholic school. You had to loose control of your bladder or something to be allowed to go to the "lavatory." They made no exceptions, and if you asked, you could pretty much count on getting hit.

cetriche

It's a fair rule, but every once in a while you have a bad day...Kids who abuse this should be penalized, but teachers should also be able to use fair judgment when a non-problem student ate their "vegetable pizza" for lunch and might need more than 3 minutes to shit...just sayin

Maria M

Why is there a fuss over this? The "one at a time, you only get three minutes and you have to ask" policy was in effect when I was in school, and it was the norm. Parents want teachers to take care of their kids so they don't have to, and then they get upset when teachers try to take control.

RammyH

Classes/lessons are what - 30-40 mins at a time? 10 year olds can't hold it for that amount of time? Did they piss/crap themselves on the walk/ride to and from school every day? Do these kids void themselves while playing PS3 or playing in the park or watching "Chpwrecked"?

And as expected, suddenly 85% of the kids in that school have some sort of medical condition that requires them to go to the bathroom every ten minutes or they'll die.