He's a natural! A wax effigy of Rick Santorum greets voters in Iowa yesterday (AP)

It's the night of the Iowa Caucuses! Everyone run downstairs and look at the Caucus Bush and marvel at how resplendent it is with Super PAC money and tears! At 1,774 precinct stations across the state, registered Republicans will gather at 7 p.m. CST to argue whether Mitt's hair is sexier than Rick Santorum's sweatervests. Polls have Santorum neck-and-neck with Willard Romney, and the man who runs America's most Fair and Balanced resource for on-air errors wants you to "think" about Rick. "Can't resist this tweet, but all Iowans think about Rick Santorum. Only candidate with genuine big vision for country," Rupert Murdoch tweeted. Wow! It's almost as if Santorum once worked for FOX News.

Recently everything's coming up Santorum—or, uh, going his way. The prickly "family values" candidate is enjoying a surge in a predominately white, religious, and mostly conservative state. It also helps that Santorum started campaigning early in Iowa, and has made over 370 stump speeches, crisscrossing the state in his pickup truck.

Ron Paul is running third and Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry are jockeying for fourth place. Gingrich, who swore he wouldn't go negative despite the brutal avalanche of ads directed at him by Romney's shadow organization, just called Romney a "liar," and Perry just wants you to "get his back," which is what George Washington said as he prepared to cross the Delaware River.

As appealing as it is to have a catcher's mitt for a president, we need a man who's too busy to roll up his sleeves. In fact, he lets no sleeve interfere with serving the American people.