Quantcast

Video: Colbert Blasts Occupy Wall Street Reps For "Dehumanizing" Corporations

110211colbertfull.jpg Last night, "in a surprise twist," Stephen Colbert shared part two of his visit to Occupy Wall Street, in which he tries to make his Colbert Super PAC "playaz" with the "occupyaz." The story picks up right where it left off Monday, up in Colbert's penthouse hotel suite overlooking Zuccotti Park, where the host tries his best to persuade two Occupy Wall Street representatives to agree to a "co-occupation"—with Colbert as the new leader of this "cult."


Colbert explains that he needs "boots on the ground" to promote his Super PAC, and he pulls out all the stops to seduce the OWS reps, Ketchup and Justin, into letting him co-opt the movement. After bringing in a masseuse, ordering room service, and popping the champagne, he tells them that in exchange for his money and exposure, all he wants is to tweak their message a tad. For instance, instead of divisive slogans like "Corporations Are Not People," how about "Corporations Are NOW People?" But when Ketchup—who earlier identified herself as "female-bodied"—refuses to acknowledge that corporations are people too, Colbert unloads:

The Supreme Court has ruled that corporations are people, therefore they are. And you saying they're not is dehumanizing a person. Do you understand how you're the monster? It just seems pretty racist of you to say, 'Oh, certain people don't get to be people.' Are they three-fifths of a person? Do you understand how ugly that sounds? Hey boy, where's my shrimp?!

Colbert's unctuous pitch wraps with him promising to help Occupy Wall Street televise the revolution. "Let's let the little man ROAR," Colbert urges. "I'm a big man that's gonna help you do that!" Unfortunately, Justin rebuffs Colbert's money and influence, explaining that one of the things Occupy Wall Street is against is the "undue influence of money in politics. For us to accept large donations from you or anybody would be recreating that problem." At press time, Occupy Wall Street had raised over half a million dollars in NYC alone.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

Comments [rss]

  • why is it all the psychos jump on any movement and ruin it? Ketchup? They didnt have anyone with a normal name? And their bizarre affect was too much to bear. What killed me off was the wiggly fingers and point of whatever. How embarassing. I support the movement because it could have a purpose but I wont join because after having been in the middle of wack jobs at a number of demonstrations, Ive learned my lesson that most Americans just do not care. Most of  those that show up are mentally unstable and have no clue what the issues are. Sad, sad state of affairs when these morons are the majority in a much needed and important movement. The comparisons to Egypt and Tunisia are pure blasphemy.  In those countries, all sectors of the population participated and many sacrificed their lives. They truly challanged the power structure. Sleeping in a smelly park and jiggling fingers and talking nonsense to each other is doing what? And drum circles? I mean these people are nuts. These weirdos run around and then go back to their dorms or sleep in the park because it is exciting when you have nothing else to do. If it was accomplishing anything, some would have been shot dead by police and the whole thing would have been swept up by now. Until most Americans take action, nothing is going to change. And no, I won't go "get involved" with crazies, I would be more productive volunteering at Bellevue state. Colbert is trying to help them here but he had a tall order, at least he tried.

  • remyngtin

    funny seeing Colbert and Jon Stewart razzing on these lowlifes

  • DrBobNM

    totally hilarious. I do like those OWS kids. Idealistic, energetic, yet brainwashed, naive, and clueless. Hope they redirect some of their energy and values toward something productive for society and themselves.

  • jfu222

    What's hilarious is how you speak/type as if your perpspective on what is productive is the only correct point of view. For them, this is productive ... I am not an OWS kid by any means, but their "unproductive /naive" energy has created something that every media outlet covers daily... and globally.

    You've brainwashed yourself

  • Guest

    Well a smelly tent city with an abnormally large concentration of homless people, weirdos and fanatics coupled with frequent occurrences of theft, rape, drum-banging and then having a countdown to charge police barracades to get themselves locked up usually gets media attention until it gets cold out and dies down.  All it created was airtime.

  • amethystmarzipan

    Have you actually been to Liberty Park?  Because it really doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you watch way too much mainstream news.

  • Guest

    Nope, nor do I want to.  Are you saying the stealing, sexual assaults, and insinuating police confrontations aren't happening?  Or that they're just way more acceptable when you see them in person?

  • 5w30
  • Detex

    but if they redirected all that energy they could potentially become the 1% they are against. Better off just hanging in the park and eating some free grub...

  • MattyGC

    oh yeah, they could be the productive idiots of society we call "bankers". Real fucking geniuses those guys are. Serious contributing members to the greater good of this country

  • Detex

    I was unaware that all productive members of society are bankers. You are a fucking idiot, people like you make it so easy to bash OWS.

    I guess my doctor, hair dresser, grocer or any other successful businessman is not productive in society... GFY.

  • Politburo

    You didn't say "productive members of society", you said "the 1%".

    So you can shove your GFY in a sack.

  • Detex

    Right, I did, the 1% is $516,633 annual income. you don't have to be a "banker" to make that. Actually, a lot of small businesses do it every year.

    So yes, you are still an idiot. Also, where can I get said sack?

  • theevilerone

    Something like 13% of the 1%-ers are gasp, doctors! So you can be wealthy and "productive?" Heavens to betsy! My world is rocked.

  • Detex

    I can't tell if you are being serious or trying to be sarcastic.

    So if that is correct, 87% are not doctors but have other businesses/means of making money... I don't see your point.

  • theevilerone

    Actually agreeing with you - that the assumption that all 1%-ers are wealthy through ill-gotten gains is erroneous. There's lots of doctors, small business owners, etc that fall in that category as well. But only bankers are vilified because people value and understand what doctors and small business owners do.

  • amethystmarzipan

    If a business owner made enough to place him in the 1%, he would no longer be a small business owner.  That undermines the very definition of a small business.  So just no.

  • Dan Nechamkin

    If you can't do the math, 1% is equivalent to 1 in every 100 people.

    OWS makes it out to seem like "the 1%" is a group of about the 1000 richest people, which would actually be 1/10,000th of a percent.If you own a small business you are MOST DEFINITELY part of the 1%, and it's people like you who are demonizing normal, successful humans and exacerbating class conflict.

  • Detex

    Indeed, sorry, I took it as sarcasm... The issue I have is that less than 1% of the "bankers" are shady but we have demonized the entire industry. It is sad how everyone has mob tendency to want blood but don't understand the problems we are all dealing with...

  • DrBobNM

    Ketchup is already part of the 1%, at least family wise. Why do you think her name is Ketchup? (no she is not a Heinz, at least I don't think so :-) )

blog comments powered by Disqus

send a tip

tips@gothamist.com