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The Worst Beer In The World, According To Brooklyn Brewery's Garrett Oliver

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(Michael Harlan Turkell)
The exhaustive Oxford Companion To Wine has long been a must-have compendium for oenophiles, who turn to it for detailed explanations on absolutely everything remotely related to vino. Now the wine companion has a companion: The Oxford Companion to Beer, a thick and thorough A-to-Z collection of beer info, with more than 1,100 entries written by the world's most prominent beer experts. The ringleader of this massive undertaking is Garrett Oliver, who edited the book and wrote a number of its entries. Oliver, who serves as the acclaimed Brewmaster at the Brooklyn Brewery, recently spoke with us about all things beer.

There's so much in here. Is there anything that is part of this book that really surprised you, where you stepped back and said, "I didn't know that, that's amazing?" There's really quite a bit of stuff that surprised me. I mean, there were some pieces that came in and I was literally excited at the fact that we were breaking some new ground. A good example is the piece on traditional brewing in Africa. I knew something about that; I knew that brewing was central to traditional African societies—but there's just all this extra information there, which is fascinating and fun to read.

I wrote a piece myself on adulterations, and we tend to think of the past as being some place where things were pure, but what you find out, for example, is that in the mid-1800s, porter—which was the great beer style of its day, especially in England—was in fact pumped full of drugs. So the same way that you had Coca Cola in the United States with cocaine in it, well, in England, porter was full of a drug called Cocculus indicus, which has a toxin in it that rendered people senseless. That was a standard ingredient for many of the beers of the day, so beer is much purer these days than it used to be.

Is that the same sort of thing on the Bowery in the 19th century, where barkeeps would drug drinks to rob the patrons? No, it's a different thing. We actually quote testimony before Parliament where there's a brewery there saying, "If we were to use so much malt that we would have enough alcohol to have the same effects, our profits would plummet." So it was a matter of basically putting a cheap high into the beer rather than an expensive one.

There are classic old tricks that most people haven't heard of, but I already had. For example, you would take a beer that's 3% and tell somebody it was 10%, and the way you would trick them is to put in a little bit of chili pepper. You would get this sort of warming sensation in your chest and you'd say, "Woah, that stuff is really strong!" and the guy would get paid for this very strong, special beer when in fact, he had been served something quite light.

What fascinates me about a book like this—and it's only when I actually physically had the book in hand that I came to realize it—is that it's very much like the old fashioned encyclopedia where there was a series of books and you could kind of pick it up to any page and just start reading. That's what I used to do when I was a kid; we would read the encyclopedia. And we didn't always have an idea at first what we wanted to read. You would just pick up a letter, like S, and you open it up, and there would be snakes and spiders and space and all kinds of stuff, and you'd just read it. And I kind of think the Oxford book actually works that way, at least for beer nerds.

Do you see contemporary beer producers pulling tricks like those? Not only in mass produced beer, but even in some craft beer—and this is a matter of philosophy rather than quality—there's use of some extracts. There's use of hop oil, for example, to give you extra aroma, and some brewers will say, "No, I don't want to use things like that. I'm going to use only the natural ingredients." And other brewers will say, "Well, this is a derivative of natural ingredients and it's much easier to use, and we can get a pure aromatic from it so why not?" That's really a matter of philosophy rather than a matter of strictly pure quality. We all know we don't want picrotoxins in our beer, everybody can agree on that.

What is that? Picrotoxin is what was contained in the Cocculus indicus, which was that berry they used to put in porter. The book dives into the fascinating histories of the beer industries in other countries from Brazil to India to Japan, etc. And really, Mexico is fascinating. Watch the way beer, especially in the 1800s, started to have its flourishing all over the place. What you really see, in a lot of these places, is a German diaspora in the mid-1800s into a lot of the world. And a lot of places, their beer industry started when they had German immigration, especially in South America. There was huge German immigration into many parts of South America at the same time that we had huge German immigration in the United States. They've had a thriving beer industry since then, and at least back in those days, it was very Germanic, the same way ours was here.

Do you think Germans still make the best beer? They don't make the best beer, but they are extremely good at making the relatively few styles of beers that they make. The problem with the German beer industry is that they make beers of very high quality and very low creativity. So basically, they have a few things they do really well, and there's almost no interest in producing anything else. And these days, that's difficult to do because people are excited about all the new flavors out there. And it's almost like being a restaurant and having the same four or five dishes at your restaurant forever. Once 15 or 20 new restaurants open up on the same block, no matter how good you are at making those four or five dishes, people are going to go get something else sometimes. And so that is really kind of starting to crush the German beer industry, and they're trying to figure out how to look at beer a little bit differently.

What's the worst beer out there? The worst beer out there?

If you could wave your hand and make one beer disappear from the face of the planet? That's an interesting question. I had a Vietnamese beer a few years ago that was called Saigon and it was just, it was really, really ghastly. I didn't remember—though I do realize that beers existed that still tasted quite that bad—it reminded me of one that I had in East Germany in the mid-1980s, when there was an East Berlin. I drank a beer when I spent a day in East Berlin, and I thought, "Boy, Communism is certainly bad but I didn't know it was so bad that it could even make Germans produce terrible beer." And it had. I don't know whether Vietnam is still considered particularly Communist, but apparently it hasn't done anything to their beer industry anyway.

In the foreword of the book, Tom Colicchio talks about this renaissance in artisanal brewing. What are the reasons for this? Why are there so many craft beers now? I think that the main thing that people need to understand when they think about craft brewing is that really, craft brewing is not a trend or a fad. What it actually is, is a return to normality. We had taken beer, which is one of the most diverse and fascinating drinks ever created—much more diverse than wine, by far, and I say that as a wine geek and a cocktail geek—but craft beer is much broader.

In the mid-1800s, America had the most interesting beer culture in the world. We had 48 breweries in Brooklyn alone, and they made all sorts of beer, and then by the 1940s and 1950s, like many other things, we had taken beer and turned it into a commodity. We had taken bread and turned it into Wonder Bread. We had taken cheese and turned it into yellow slices between plastic. So our food culture was basically paved over and plasticized and our food became very bland overall. And so what's going on right now is simply a recovery. I think renaissance is actually the right word in a way, because it's not a complete invention out of thin air. It's really getting back a culture that we lost and then using that as a jumping-off point for more fun things.

So the brewer these days is more like a chef, whereas maybe 50 years ago the brewer was an engineer or a chemist. Somebody might go into brewing as a very technical job—and not that brewing is not technical, and so is being a film director, a technical thing—but it's half art and half science. For a long time, we had all science and no art. So all we're doing right now is we're bringing the art back into it, and I think that's why people are so excited, because beer is now fun and interesting to drink again.

And now you have with the proliferation of craft breweries, you have a lot of competition and there's controversy over what defines a craft beer. At what point of growth do you stop being a craft brewer? I think it's an interesting controversy and I think that there's obviously a lot of politics in it. For a lot of companies, their identification as "craft" is very important to them. You have the Brewers Association, who have their own very finely tuned definition of what craft is. My outlook is a little bit different. My definition of craft is basically an independent company, of whatever size, that is basically producing beers by largely traditional means, to produce flavorful beer.

And what I mean by that is that the mass market beer has generally been about the removal of almost all flavors. That is basically the point. That's what people were trying to do: take the drink and remove so much flavor that there is almost nothing left. Once there's nothing left, then you can sell it to everybody because there's nothing to object to. And that's what Wonder Bread is. Wonder Bread doesn't actually taste like bread, it doesn't really taste like anything, which is one reason it can be popular, because no one's gonna taste it and say, "Wow that's wonderful, that's beautiful." But then again, no one's going to taste it and say, "That's really awful." It's just there.

And so, craft is really a matter of recovering the flavor in all of these things. Basically, craft beer follows the arc of American food. You watch the re-proliferation of those things like bread and cheese, etc., everything is becoming bolder, more spicy, more interesting. There are no areas of food, if you really take a good look, where things are getting blander, or people are going back to something simpler. They're not, and they're not going to. There's only one direction. We had—if you look at American beer especially, but also worldwide beer—rather than being a trend, actually the last, say, 50 years before 1990, that's actually the weird period, the period where we had kind of a monoculture. When I was a kid, sushi was exotic, and now you get sushi at a baseball game. It's the same thing with craft beer.

I know you're on the west coast so it's early, but if you could have one beer right now, what would it be and why? Depending on where I am and what I'm doing, since it is 10 a.m., the right beer to have would be the German-style wheat beer called weisse beer. If it's 10 a.m. in Munich, you'll find all the beer halls are full. They have a big glass of the German wheat beer style called weisse beer, and often with a pretzel or a weisswurst, which is a kind of a yellow sausage. And this is the Bavarian second breakfast: you drink your beer and do your thing and you go back to work. That's kind of the breakfast of champions over there. We don't tend to do that in the United States, but then again, they make very nice cars so I guess things are still going fine if you only have one.

I just want to make one final point, which you may or may not have any use for. I think what's special about the Oxford book is that I'm surprised that this book never existed before, nothing like it ever existed before. And it's only now in this period where we have beer kind of coming back that there's this interest in producing a book that covers beer in its totality. And we cover mass market beer just as thoroughly as we cover craft beer. So if someone wants to know what light beer is—rather than kind of harangue them in telling them, "Well you shouldn't like light beer in the first place"—what we're doing is having somebody who has been making light beer for 30 years tell you where it comes from, how it was developed, how different light beer is from one country to another. Really giving you, what I hope, is real information that's also entertaining.

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Comments [rss]

  • ChicagoD

    HA! HA! HA! I'm sure the brewers in Germany will take under advisement the advice that people really like new flavors now, as opposed to the beers they've been brewing for a thousand years. Better figure out a way to get some gimmick quick!

  • How's that for a day job? Before I hit the link, I blurted out "Coors Lite" which IMHO tastes like dirty dishwater. Note: I am a Guinness guy from Harp to Extra Stout. I was disappointed in his answer because it sounded like it came out of the mouth of a politican in the recent GOP candidate debates.

    This has nothing to do with the fact that despite those commercials that tout "Rocky Mountain Spring Water," that Coors guy decided to ship mash via rail to the east coast and then add local tap water to it, simply to crush the teamsters union. Drink beer made by that guy? Fuggetaboutit!

  • Rial Sloan

    There was an aussi comedian at some point that said American Beer was like making love in a canoe... "It's F***ing close to water". He was referring to Bud/Miller/Coors, but it's an accurate measurement of the creativity those folks have.

    I recommend watching "Beer Wars" for any of you that are remotely curious in the craft beer movement in the US.

  • My opinion is quite simple: 
    If you can’t make great beer with just 4 ingredients then you are probably not a great beer maker.
    Simple enough? 
    Then again, there are people out there who love 16.7%abv California Syrah and have no clue about Cornas. 
    There are also those out there who believe Santa Rita Hills Pinot Noir is the best rendition of the variety but don’t understand Chambolle-Musigny, much less Savigny-les-Beaune or Pernand-Vergelesses. 
    There are those that think some guy from Sonoma who made his first wine five years ago is producing the greatest Chardonnay in the world and don’t understand Raveneau Chablis Clos. 
    Rod Laver, arguably the greatest tennis player who ever lived, once said, “...don’t change a winning game.  However if you are losing you had better change your game plan.” 
    The Bavarians have been playing a winning game for over 1000 years and America craft brewing have been trying to get in the game with their exaggerated, often ridiculously flavored, over-hopped and gimmicky beers since the 1980’s.  They are still losing, often badly. 
    And, by the way, Garrett does not make very good beers. 
    Maybe he should try some new American oak.

  • supreme_skook

    you sound like a self-absorbed jackass...who quotes tennis players when opining about craft beer? In response to your last suggestion, you might want to take a look at this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Stephen McGrath

    Saigon Red is delicious, a very quaffable beer. Perhaps his one glass was tainted or stale. The only Vietnamese beer that is not really acceptable is 333. Hanoi and Saigon beers are quite good. Bear in mind that they are generally drunk in a glass with a large block of ice plonked into it.

    On the other hand, I was given a free Coors Light with my entry ticket to see some metal bands in Hard Rock Cafe, Saigon one day. I nearly threw up after 2-3 attempts at getting it down my throat, and traded it for the only other free choice - Orangina (non-alcoholic orange soda) - which was a lot better.

    Generic American beers like Budweiser and Coors have always been the worst in the world in my opinion, but I'm Australian, so what would I know about beer. ;-)

  • Great article and comments.  For once I didn't close a window out of rage when reading a comments section.  Just goes to show... craft beer people are good people.  Cheers all!!

  • J_12

    Worst beer ever made is Rolling Rock.  It tastes like shitty tap water and has the alcohol content of diluted Boones Apple Farm wine.  I would rather drink O'Douls than Rolling Rock.

    Bud, Miller, etc are not terrible, just very bland and flavorless.  This is exactly what he said in the article - they are the beer equivalent of wonderbread.  Nobody can hate it because it has very little flavor or character.

  • RobertMosesSupposesErroneously

    Ooo - may have to put this book on my xmas list! I love how many beers from my home state you can find in NYC. I've found bars serving Fat Tire, Boulder Beer Co, Avery, New Belgium, even Oskar Blues. Oh and Coors. If you wanna count that. 

  • zombie_cakes

    Where is serving Fat Tire? Haven't had that on tap in years. 

  • RobertMosesSupposesErroneously

    They had it at the Sunswick in LIC fairly recently - they rotate their taps a lot though! (Which I love)

  • zombie_cakes

    Dang! I used to go there all the time when I lived in Queens. I love how their taps are always rotating, a pub up the street from my new apt is just like that and will be tapping a keg of DFH 120 Min IPA soon!

  • Fat Tire is a beer from New Belgium. And since they don't distribute in New York City, any bar you've been to here that is serving it is doing that illegally. But there's also Great Divide, Left Hand, and Breckenridge.

  • Andrew Weakland

    Saigon might be bad, but its better than drinking the water...

  • Susan Heinick

    just add brew punch!

  • Andrew Weakland

    word

  • bggb

    Great interview - great beer.

    Thanks!

  • ganghiscon

    I vote for Corona.  The book sounds great and Garrett Oliver is the man.

  • zombie_cakes

    Fact. The closest thing I can assume could taste similar is chilled baboon's ass sweat. 

  • ganghiscon

    Mexican beer is generally pretty bad, but at least Tecate, Sol, Dos Equis etc are light and drinkable, if watery and flavorless, a la Coors and Miller Lite.  Corona is just rancid, and marked up in bars to boot.

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