Rick Santorum All Frothy That His Name Is "Santorum"

Santorum concedes his 2006 Senate campaign H/T Wonkette

Are your kids in the next room playing with their Candy Tails? Google "Santorum." You'll notice that the first result is a website that defines the word as, "The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." This is because sex columnist Dan Savage vowed to repay bigoted failure and GOP Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum eight years ago for the hateful things he says about the gay community, and BOY is it working. Charlie Cook tells the Daily News, "There is nothing that Santorum can do but just try to ignore it." Or he could whine to the media!

"I suspect if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, they'd get rid of it," the hopeless 2012 GOP candidate recently told Politico, apparently unaware of the Onion's amazing coverage of the Vice President. "To have a business allow that type of filth to be purveyed through their website or through their system is something that they can't handle, but I suspect that's not true." Santorum didn't seem bothered by it before his presidential run, but now he needs all the PR assistance he can muster. Google's hands are tied, and doesn't "remove content from our search results, except in very limited cases such as illegal content and violations of our webmaster guidelines."

Savage says the candidate can donate $5 million to Freedom to Marry, a gay marriage organization, but Santorum would probably rather drink a tall glass of Santorum before backing down.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Christopher Robbins in News on October 8, 2011 3:05 PM

Comments [rss]

fledermaus

Hick Sanatorium, purleeze!

TheOtherBob

Here's what I don't get -- if your name was Rick Santorum, wouldn't you change it? Seriously, if your last name meant "poop juice," wouldn't you, upon coming of age, apply for a name change?

I mean, if your name were Tim Shittypants or Greg Fartsmeller, you'd be first in line at the name change desk in your local city hall, right? And yet this guy has apparently spent the better part of half a century walking around named Rick *Santorum*. It's bizarre.

And how did his family even get that name, anyways? I mean, "Smith" comes from being a blacksmith, and "Johnson" means "son of John." So what the hell was his family doing back in the middle ages to come out with a name like "Santorum?!"

I do not get this shit.

Inspector Spacetime

50 years from now, the Oxford English dictionary may include this word. It will say, 'This usage of the term was first recorded in 2003.'

robingee

Oh man I remember that picture. Classic! Where's the photo album of his stillborn child that he brought home and made the kids pose with?

mistermarkdavis

"To have a business allow that type of filth to be purveyed through
their website or through their system is something that they can't
handle, but I suspect that's not true."

He's right. Ideally Google wouldn't return any results about Rick Santorum.

Mordicai

Poor Rick "The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex" Satorum. Combine someone who can't understand that there might be social consequences for his political stances-- "GOSH all I want to do is oppress gay people, why are gay people so MEAN as to make up bad names about me, GOSH, my actions profoundly hurt actual people but GOSH they said dirty woooooord, GOSH!"-- with someone who doesn't understand the basic functioning of the tools of the modern world...stir, shake & what comes out is...a viable Republican candidate!

Rick, Rick, Rick, you fill me with despair.

Roger_the_Shrubber

"The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."

More like the repulsive frothy mix that is Dan Savage's rectum-obsessed mind.

splicernyc

Save your championing for a non-inbred family.

LazyNanny

Isn't this story like a month old?

Anyway eff him. He is the most repulsive Republican around, and that is saying a lot.

DoctorMemory

Technically, the story is getting close to a DECADE old: spreadingsantorum.com was registered on November 13th, 2003. But Rick the Human Skidmark keeps bringing it up, which of course only strengthens the google-bomb.

There's a lot of competition for the title of "dumbest Senator of the 21st century" so far, but Santorum is doing his damnedest to hold on to the lead.