Obama speaks in the Rose Garden today. He's got the GOP right where he wants 'em. (AP)

After the Senate passed the debt-ceiling legislation earlier today, President Obama signed it into law, thus averting the possibility of a global meltdown precipitated by 435 politicians in Washington, D.C. Hooray! Surely the markets are up. What? Oh well, at least the President can put this whole experience behind him and focus on his on mortality during his 50th birthday extravaganza/fundraiser on Wednesday.

In a speech in the Rose Garden, Obama promised that this legislation is just the "first step" in "ensuring that as a nation, we live within our means." Except for private equity firms and hedge funds, who are allowed to fudge a little. Oh and pretty much the entire American financial system. But keep "live within our means," that's catchy!

Another round of negotiations awaits Washington, as a committee of Republicans and Democrats will determine $1.6 trillion in budget cuts. President Obama seems to think that "growing the economy isn’t just about cutting spending," meaning that closing corporate tax loopholes and increasing taxes on the wealthy isn't out of the question. And why push for those a few days ago when you can get them a few months later? Barry really is an amazing chess player.