A Queens firefighter was arrested yesterday for exposing himself to two 14-year-old boys after he bought them alcohol. 48-year-old Michael Taggart allegedly drank with the teenagers before he exposed his penis to them at around 2 a.m. in Oakland Gardens. Taggart has been a firefighter for 15 years, and was suspended for 30 days without pay following charges of public lewdness, endangering the welfare of a child, and distributing alcohol to a minor, the Daily News reports. No word on whether he will choose the classic "peeing" defense or the more nuanced "penis game gone awry."

In related, equally depressing news, a FDNY EMT of 14 years pleaded guilty yesterday to having sex with a 15-year-old girl while she was intoxicated. 43-year-old Joel Pierce pled guilty to endangering the welfare of a child and received probation—no jail time—for engaging in sex acts with the minor after she had three beers at his Long Island apartment. "He's a good man—a very good one," Pierce's mother told the Daily News after the sentencing. If you ever want your mother to defend you outside a courtroom after being convicted of sex acts with a minor, you should probably give her a call today.