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Making Money Will Kill You

062911ROCK.jpg Yesterday we were reminded that just like the chupacabra or deciding on whether to run for president, sitting down kills you. At least we can come home every two weeks with a piece of paper that allows us to keep a (leaking) roof over our heads, buy a few more tallboys and more precious time before we die, right? WRONG. According to Time magazine's analysis of a recent study, "getting paid may be associated with a higher risk of death." Dammit, I guess we finally have to admit that volunteering is good for you.

A study published in the Journal of Public Economics essentially says that when we get paid, we become more active, and activity in general increases mortality. "Once people get paid, they go out and spend," the lead author of the study says, and accordingly "people go to the store more often then, they buy more lottery tickets at that time of the month, and they go to movies more during the beginning of the month." All of this puts us at risk of stress, heart attacks, and increased bodily harm. So we're dead if we sit and dead if we move. Great. Why did we get out of bed today?

Researchers are testing theories of spreading payments out gradually over the course of a month, which makes sense but would really screw us on our credit card bill. Anyone who would like to live longer should submit their name and bank account number to chris(at)gothamist(dot)com!

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

Comments [rss]

  • Anarekey2000

    Life is a terminal condition.

  • PicoPhreako69

    Exactly!
    Or put another way,....

    Life Causes Death.

  • Guest

    Sitting kills you, going out kills you, too many deaths occur in the home, so don't stay there either. And forget about laying in the safety of a bed, those bed sores will get you. While you're at it, become a vegan because animal products will give you cancer, BUT don't ingest soy because it could be dangerous. No sugar either, that kills you too. But no fake sugar, cause there goes cancer again. Did I miss anything?

  • Rocknrope

    Eat more fish, but don't because they'll give you mercury poisoning. Eat vegetables, but cook them because they may have e.coli; but cooking them reduces the nutrients they contain. 

  • Rocknrope

    This study is in the running for the most wasted use of time and funding resources ever.

    Newsflash: Living life leads to death.

  • Guest

    Dammit, I was going to say that.  

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