Fashion Police: No More Sexy Rikers Visitors

Ah, Rikers Island. It was once a true fashionista's paradise, where visitors were free to gallavant about in spandex, miniskirts, and bosom-heaving tops. But not anymore! Now the prison is cracking down on scantily clad lady visitors, denying them their God-given right to bear boobs and forcing them to wear hideous neon green XXXL T-shirts instead.

"I have to wear what?" exclaimed one visitor upon seeing the shirts. "You're just trying to make me look bad in front of my man," she said, before complaining about the time she spent fixing her hair and makeup. The new Rikers dress code is "intended to ensure the safety and well-being of the inmate population," said a spokesperson, but also to calm the, ahem, eager inmates, some of whom have been busted getting it on with their significant others in kid-filled public areas. "It was really gross," said one supervisor. "It was really getting out of control."

The city spent $5,000 for 800 of the t-shirts, which Norman Seabrook, president of the Correction Officers' Benevolent Association, called "a waste of money." Current Rikers visitor dress code prohibits "hooded garments" and "shorts, skirts or dresses the hem of which is more than three inches above the knee," and insists, sadly, that "all visitors must wear undergarments."

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By Jamie Feldmar in Arts & Entertainment on June 21, 2011 6:22 PM

Comments [rss]

Christina Berg

Only wedding jewelry allowed, what about religious jewelry , while some can see the need for a dress code, ie no fishnet stockings, corrections always goes overboard, and waste of taxpayer, many folks at rikers are not even convicted and while there are true guilty criminals who get the tabloids awaiting trial, most don't have the resources for bail even out of simple disputes.

Kimberley Truelove

Why didn't they go to Times Sq and get the 6 "I ♥ NY" shirts for $10 deal.

Guest

I went to Rikers and all I got is this lousy T-Shirt.

Allison Sturgill

I fail to understand why they can't post a dress code, with pictures and deny access to anyone that isn't dressed correctly. If Catholic schools can measure the length of a skirt to your knees I see no reason why a prison can't deny visitors access. If you want to go to a cathedral in Europe you have to cover up there also....

Chris Malone

3XL shirts do run a bit more than standard sized shirts, but $6.25 is still VERY expensive. Even more so when they're just solid color shirts.

Now if they printed "The guards were worried i'd drive the prisoners wild at: Rikers Island" on them and sold them for $10...

ddhboy

$5000 for 800 shirts means they paid $6.25 per shirt. There's no reason why it should have cost that much for basic colored t-shirts, especially when you're buying them in bulk. They easily could have cut $2 per shirt off of the price of the bulk order if they went generic.

Guest

Exactly. That many shirts should not have cost much over 2k. Then again, we're talking about the government. And they're as good with our money as MC Hammer was with his.

virgilstarkwell

"...covering up the skanks - and keeping out the shanks."

if there's a shittier newspaper in the world, i haven't seen it.

robingee

Soooooo the way the women dress make the men behave inappropriately. Men who are in jail.

splicernyc

I suddenly have an urge to zig-a-zig-ah.

cr17

5k for 800 shirts. Great. Why not just go to Costco and buy a huge box of Lawn-Sized garbage bags and make the ladies wear them Missy Elliot-style? Would cost a lot less.