Street Justice: East Village Dad Vs. 4 AM Party Bus

Via La Chiva Usa

Many of us share in the blood-boiling, white-knuckle rage that is summoned when the cacophony of the city rouses us from our precious six hours of sleep, but few of us are able to do anything about it beyond screaming obscenities out the window or drowning it out with uncontrollable sobbing. EV Grieve shares the account of one dad on East 5th street who awoke to a raucous party bus at 4 a.m. whose first reflex wasn't to dial 311, but to "[get] a bat...but didn't want to wake the kids by opening their baseball gear. It was their sleep that I was trying to preserve after all." No bat? That's why the Good Lord invented shoes.

When I went outside I wasn’t thinking that I’d be trying to kick their door in. Maybe I tried to push the door open to scream at them to move on? I don’t quite remember...except that the door was shut hard and that I was giving it my all now, repeatedly...wham! wham! wham!
At one point I exchanged some words with someone baiting me at one of the two open windows, he telling me how he was going to fuck me up and holding a kitchen scissors as if it was a knife, and me saying to come on out bitch as I leapt up and tried to grab his face off.

And, the bus was up and running and as I was thinking down the street isn’t going to work for me, a half drunk can of beer came whizzing by my head. I followed the bus on foot, opened a recycle bin or two and pulled out some bottles, 32oz-ers I think, three of them, and I was running now. The bus thought about parking for a sec, and then decided to hightail it as they saw me running up behind them, except that the light was against them. They paused before running it as I hurled bottle #1 at their rear and as they floored it up the Bowery I hit them once again with #2.

Of course, instances like these never happen, according to the Big Party Bus Lobby. "Buses don't stay stationary on blocks, there's a city law that prohibits them from standing in one place for more than fifteen minutes," says Kimberly over at The Party Ride. "Our buses only travel through non-residential neighborhoods: Times Square, the West Side Highway, down by the South Street Pier." Stephanie at The Original New York Party Bus (check out that whisper quiet stripper pole!) told us that they've never had a single noise complaint, "not one."

As anyone walking down the street in the East Village or Lower East Side on a Saturday night can attest, these buses most certainly drive through residential neighborhoods. We've even seen one pull over for two ladies to vomit! But 4-wheeled bachelor parties beware: you may have to dodge a bottle from the next Noise Pollution "Folk Hero."

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Christopher Robbins in News on May 17, 2011 11:09 AM

Comments [rss]

da_phonz

I saw a about 5 people get soaked while they where sitting on a stoop. The apt dwellers just opened the front door and poured a bucket of water on them. Might have been a good plan in the beginning, except they should have probably not done it on trash day since the 5 dumped a few bags of trash on their stoop.

Christopher Jennerich

If you really want to get technical, get yourself a paintball gun. It works wonders.

k3ll3s

Could he have just taken down the company's name and bus no. and made a noise complaint to 311 instead of throwing bottles?

Shawn Chittle

I suppose we could have sent Japan a very strongly worded letter for attacking Pearl Harbor...

Guest

I've never grabbed someone's face off, but it sounds like fun.

PhotoR

"I want to take his face... off. Eyes, nose, skin. It's coming off." - Sean Archer, Face/Off

Best hockey movie I've ever seen!

Guest

I'll have to check that one out.

Chuckell

Where are all the people from yesterday's bike-kicking incident saying that nothing--no kind of merely annoying, rude behavior--could possibly ever justify an assault?

Automocar

Kicking the front wheel of a bike is clearly an assault--the bike will wobble and the person will fall.

Throwing bottles at a bus--well, let's just say that that isn't going to cause the bus to crash.

Chuckell

Really? Showering a residential street with broken glass isn't somewhat aggressively risky behavior? If you think that there was no chance of any nearby pedestrians--or, for that matter, bicyclists--happening by at that hour of the night, you haven't spent much time in the East Village.

Automocar

Okay.

cr17

A couple of eggs out the window onto the hood will usually get that party rolling.

fosiacat

pennies out my window about 3 stories down.

SPIBB

Hurling things at drivers laying on their horns with no hope of ever making the light they imagine they should be able to make should also be a regular city occurrence. I've often thought of keeping a tennis ball in my pocket for just that purpose.

thinkblue

for years i have planned on walking around Manhattan with an air horn can and running up to those drivers and blowing it right in their window. i probably will never do it, but we'll see.

Professor Von Nostren

Me, too. I used to live a few blocks from the Lincoln Tunnel, where it was honking 24/7. I fantasized about going out there, lifting some hoods and cutting wires....aaah.