The fountain of youth (photo from Flickr user ChrisGoldNY)

Lots of ridiculous things happen in the Meatpacking District. Girls defy gravity and cobblestone streets in their towering heels, Jesse Camp pees off of hotel rooftops, and just last week, Tommy Hilfiger built a twee, temporary cottage there. So it really comes as no surprise that fancy-pants nightclub Provocateur has started selling "skin-enhancing" cocktails to its beauty-obsessed, Botox-loving crowd.

In an article in The Times, Frank Bruni taste-tests the uber-exclusive club's summer cocktail line, with drinks like the Watermelon Kiss (tequila and "skin tone-enhancing" watermelon juice) and the Sweet Enchantment (vodka, kumquats, and vitamins to reduce your skin's oily sheen). The cocktails are the result of a collaboration between the club's bartenders and model-turned-beauty vendor Scott-Vincent Borba, who peddles in "crystalline-infused" juices he calls "skin-gestibles." We don't know what that means, either, but if you can make it past the velvet rope, the drinks can be yours for a mere $22 a pop!

Of course, anyone who's ever shotgunned a Coors can tell you that alcohol does indeed do wonders for making you and everyone around you look more attractive, so we're not sure why we'd bother with this gobbledy-gook when there's a bodega just around the corner. Or, try this recipe for a classic Young Man cocktail, invented in 1930, which features nary a skin-gestible in sight.