The below video is why the internet loves Charlie Sheen—you will not have been so entertained by extreme bipolar depression and separation from reality since The Bell Jar (really, it's catchy!).

However, since the rest of us presumably have our wits about us still, we should probably focus on the below video—the final segment of Sheen's Korner, which aired last night. In it, Sheen appears to be reading from a script that only he could have written. He starts off with some poetry, which he credits to his future self: Edgar Allan Me. He then refers to himself as the Malibu Messiah, the Condor of Calabasas, and the Warlock of Your Jealousfaces. It's probably the most disturbing transmission Sheen has put out into the world during the past couple of weeks, which... is saying a lot.

However, Sheen has reportedly admitted to Life & Style magazine: "I'm really starting to lose my mind. I'm ready to call anyone to help." He also told them, "I'm really trying to contain myself right now. My lawyer wants to come over to my house and take the bullets out of my gun."

One source told them, "It's crazy over here at the house. Charlie's losing it. He's really mad about the show, and dealing with the kids and Brooke is getting to be too much. Charlie is a ticking time bomb, and we all fear he could do something drastic like committing suicide or falling back on hard drugs... He's a danger to himself—a really big danger."

So, while autotuning his rants is fun and all, maybe it's time to harness all of this attention on Sheen for good? Or at least stop paying attention.