Perhaps there is something in the sweet, bottled, artesian aquifer-filtered water over at Morgan Stanley: a few months ago we found out that one of their traders was fired for paying a dwarf to dress up in a Men in Black suit for a stunt (it's a fact that people with too much money want to live in a movie). Now we learn that a former Morgan Stanley executive who bit the ear off of one of his subordinates is still gainfully employed at Deutsche Bank.

A book excerpt in the Wall Street Journal mentioned the grisly incident and spurred DealBook to test the story's veracity. Not only was it true, but they found the identity of the man in question: Robert Kitts! Granted, Morgan Stanley fired him; not for masticating an employee's ear but for having an inter-office affair with his assistant. Not Law & Order enough for you? She was a Russian model who was later was found dead in a murder-suicide!

Inflicting a Van Gogh on a coworker? No biggie. Having sex with one? TERMINATED. Sometimes, controlling 24% of the nations income just isn't enough to satisfy the bloodlust. If Mr. Kitts is looking for an assistant (one that he may not want to try to have sex with) he should look no further than Iron Mike, as we hear he was a team player at Goldman last summer.