When about a dozen critics simultaneously published their generally negative reviews of the Broadway mega-musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark last week, we wondered if their opinions would make a difference to the production's target demographic: people who just want to see flying shit. And so far, it looks like audiences just don't care what fancy Ben Brantley and the rest of the theater snobs think. According to Playbill, attendance actually rose slightly after the reviews dropped, from almost 90% capacity to 92% capacity last week. And despite the critical drubbing, producers have found a way to turn the lemons into lemonade, with their old friend Mr. Pullquote!

In a new video promo on the show's website, you'll see such positive critical declarations as "visually enchanting" and "dazzling" and "stellar!" Speakeasy and Broadwayworld.com have some fun putting those positive adjective in their appropriate pejorative context. For example, the show is now quoting Elisabeth Vincentelli’s pan in the NY Post: “Visually enchanting…Dazzling." But "dazzling" comes from the headline: “Dazzling at times and disappointing at others, this giant superhero production is still a tangled web.” And the other part is used to describe just one effect, not the entire show. We wish they'd just listen to Vanessa Redgrave and change the name of the show to "Let the Light Come in From the Dark, Superman." (She actually called it that!)

So, we're sorry to disillusion you, but it seems Broadway producers take critics' words out of context and spin them to sell tickets, just like A SPIDER SPINNING A WEB. And the audience members are the one CAUGHT IN THIS WEB, wrapped in a COCOON of sticky... Taymor. But it could be worse—they could be stuck in Billy Elliot. People are getting injured at that deathtrap!