Yesterday, New York's own Jimmy McMillan showed up to the Conservative Political Action Conference, firing up young conservatives and issuing a slew of juicy soundbites. “I’m here to change it all up,” he said. “Why? Because the rent is too damn high." Here are some of his best utterances:

• On his support for gay marriage: "If you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you."
• On "personal liberties:" "If you want to drop your pants, drop 'em, dawg. I got your back."
• “They asked me, ‘Mr. McMillan, what are you going to do about abortion?’ I’m hungry now, I want a hamburger with cheese.”
• “I am doing what daddy do for his children. All of you are my children. You have been mistreated.”
• "Oh, I know they're going to say, 'oh, Mr. McMillan, you're running for president, you can't say ass,' well Barack Obama said ass and I said I was coming after his black ass too."
• “If I went to the White House, Obama would run and hide in the bathroom.”

McMillan reaffirmed his promise to run for president in 2012. He told the crowd, "You can't blame none of those in office but look at yourself and blame the problem. All I'm here to do is to wake you up." He also raised a shoe in solidarity with his "brothers and sisters in Egypt." Umm, what? Jimmy, it might be time to just stick with your music career.