Hero Suing Escort Service For $1.8M For Unsatisfactory Performance

2011 has only just begun, but we've already found the best lawsuit of the year: NYC college student Hubert Blackman recently filed a $1.8 million claim against a Las Vegas escort service because his stripper didn't stay to cuddle with him. And because he now needs medical treatment for a mental condition related to the "tragic" incident.

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Blackman was on vacation in Sin City when he called Las Vegas Exclusive Personals to arrange for a "date." The woman arrived, stripped, and performed a lap dance for $155 and a sex act for another $120. But she didn't stay the promised full hour, leaving after thirty minutes, which we wouldn't necessarily call "tragic." Blackman called the company next day, demanding a refund, alleging that he had been too drunk at the time of the services to make an informed agreement with the dancer. When they wouldn't heed his request, Blackman went to Las Vegas police, who reminded him that he could be arrested for illegally engaging a prostitute.

But just because you can't get satisfaction in Las Vegas doesn't mean you can't in NYC—Blackman filed suit in Manhattan Criminal Court upon return, claiming he needed medical treatment for the traumatic event, and charging, "An escort did an illegal sexual act on me during her paid service to me'' and "I almost had gotten arrested." In his suit, he wrote, "I would like the court to close the business. I also would like to get my $275 payment back and a $1.8 million verdict for the tragic event that happened."

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By Ben Yakas in News on January 21, 2011 11:55 AM

Comments [rss]

Verifyhim

It's funny. I try to run his name on the popular escort screening site VerifyHim.com and he was showed at a no show. Maybe this guy already has a bad record in the escort world already. LOL

rbb25

Did I miss something? What makes this guy a hero exactly?

NlGGAZ

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=sarcasm

rbb25

That NEVER occurred to me! ;)

sacredcube

What makes him a hero? Are you serious? Firstly, he was drunk at the time of the incident. Her sexual act constitutes borderline rape. The fact that he is not going to press charges against her is a testament to his forgiveness. Secondly, a lack of cuddling opens him up to a variety of psychological afflictions, including but not limited to crushing depression and a catastrophic devaluation of self-worth. It could take months of therapy and medication before he is able to overcome his trauma and fuck another cheap whore.

This is a tragedy. He should get double what he asked for.

America is on your side, Hubert.

Rocknrope

Agreed, I didn't know if I missed something or if my sarcasm meter needed a smack.

BotanistPrime

Cuddle jobs are an extra $50 and everyone knows that!

Len_Drexler

I thought everyone knew "one hour" was a euphemism for one orgasm.

Rocknrope

Hey Hubert, I'd like to introduce you to this invention called the "internet." It's this computer thingy that people, including future employers, use to look up stuff. Companies often use it to search for little tidbits of info like the name, "Hubert Blackman"

Guess what they're going to find out?