It's not just ice cream truck drivers who conduct their business like they're in warring drug cartels. The NY Post has the scoop on an "ice cream cold war" between two distributors fighting over the right to stock the same freezer in a Bed-Stuy bodega. It's tough out there for a frozen dessert dealer! On Monday Homero Jaramillo was in the midst of selling some Haagen-Dazs to bodega owner José Zorrilla when the store's regular ice cream supplier, Steven Perez, arrived on the scene. What ensued makes us wonder if the seemingly innocent ice cream dripping down our cones is tainted with blood and suffering.

"Steve came in and started screaming 'I'll kill you! I'll kill you!' to Homero," Zorrilla tells the Post. "Steve threatened to attack Homero with his work knife. He kept saying, 'I'll kill you! I'll kill you!' Me and my brother had to wrap our arms around him and hold him. I said 'Stop, stop!' " Homero then ran out of the store but allegedly returned with a baseball bat. "He came back and hit Steve on his back. It was self-defense," Zorrilla said in a statement that we're pretty sure contradicts the definition of self-defense.

Perez, who says he pays $150 a month to stock a freezer in the bodega, was arrested and charged with menacing and harassment. Jaramillo was charged with assault, menacing and harassment. Perez tells the tabloid, "He was trying to get into my store to get sales off of my freezer. I saw him making the sale, so I confronted him about it." With a box-cutter. But that's nothing—Jaramillo's lucky he didn't get the brain freeze.