Strippers Pile on Sanitation Dept For Blocking Club With Snow

In this file photo, an image of a scantily-clad model is used out of context to illustrate a story about a snow-bound Manhattan strip club.

The Post is really in its element with today's top story about a Hell's Kitchen strip club that has lost business this week because—strippers say—the Sanitation Dept. has been piling snow 15 feet high outside their front door.

In an article headlined "Bad news 'bares'—Strip-joint customers melt away," the tabloid reports that the Sanitation Department "caused lap dances at jiggle joint HeadQuarters Cabaret to grind to a halt... Strippers were forced to totter through an arctic winterscape in their stiletto heels. By the early-morning hours, the Sanitation Department had packed such massive mounds outside the mammary mecca that men couldn't get down the street to the front door." And meanwhile, those tree-hugging bike riders are pedaling around on their pristine, snow-free bike lanes (no doubt headed to gay clubs in the well-plowed West Village)! Has the whole world gone crazy? Won't someone think of the strippers?

The Sanitation Department says it has no choice but to pile its snow outside the West 38th Street club. They're running a snow-melting machine there, you see, and that spot happens to be by one of the city's biggest sewers. "There are only certain sewer lines that can accept the water from a snow melter," explains spokeswoman Kathy Dawkins, who probably hates topless dancers. But her spin is small consolation for the cash-starved dancers, who say that Sanitation Department workers have even stopped potential customers from coming down the street to the club.

"It's been dead," says starving dancer Valentina Torres, 22. "As you can see, no one is here. The street is closed so we don't even get our regular customers. Basically, this has been a wasted week. As long as the sanitation [workers] are out there, no one will come!" We're sure this has been a tough week over at the 11th Avenue strip club, but in our experience, it takes a little more than a pile of snow and some sanitation workers to deter men on a strip club mission. Could it possibly be that city's impassable, snow-covered roads might have something to do with this week's tragically empty g-strings?

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By John Del Signore in News on December 31, 2010 12:00 PM

Comments [rss]

Stiff01

Hoes got to work to you know !

Subduction

There has to be a "North Pole dance" joke in here somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.

Guest

I would think if the strippers were hot enough, the snow should be melting as we speak.

xXxMExXx

I worked for years at 554 West 38th (literally the building next door), and they never melted snow there. As a matter of fact, the storm drain (different from a sewer Gothamist) in front of that building always backed up!
Maybe the Sanitation workers want to hang near the ladies?

Dan128

New York City has a combined sewer system - runoff and sewage are carried through the same system.

nolastname

I think you hit it on the head.

Just Me

Hold the lap dances outside, that'll heat things up.

ANGRYGOD11

Why use a snow melting machine instead of dumping the snow into the Hudson River? Too practical or saves too much money?

Dan128

Think about all the garbage in the streets that sanitation doesn't pick up, and the salt they put down. Now think about where that trash goes when snow is plowed and put into a truck. Next, think about what would then be dumped with the snow into the river. Some environmentalists might like to have a word with some city officials if that were to happen.

There's also the issue of practicality- hauling trucks full of snow around the corner to a catch basin is quicker than hauling it to a point along the river where it can be dumped. That means more staff, longer hours, or more time before the snow is taken off your street.

Spirit of 76

Not many places to dump at the river anyway. Most of the piers aren't accessible, and what few are would quickly have snow piling up next to them. Snow doesn't melt immediately when it hits near freezing water.

MermaidFornicator

Great file photo!

Spirit of 76

Not a file photo. Just something they Googled up. Although I think it's damn cruel of JDS not to link to the source in case somebody wants to download a much bigger image.

nolastname

I can't believe the first commrnt was not about the bikers going to a gay bar.

Mark B

I've been trying to figure out what makes bike riders "gay", anyway -- like it's really MANLY to sit on your ass in a metal box, twirl a wheel and press on a couple foot-control pedals. WAIT -- I KNOW -- the "MANLY" drivers are so f'n FAT, the skinny seats on the bikes they see would slide right up their asses, so they think that's what the riders are doing, getting ass-bumped by the seats!

NOW I get it.............. ....................EPIC FAIL.