There really is no good way to spin this Charlie Sheen story if you are Charlie Sheen. In the end, the facts are that he had been partying, doing coke, and had a naked escort locked in the closet of THE ELOISE SUITE in the Plaza Hotel. (Hopefully someone has burned some sage to cleanse that place.) To top it off, his own kids, and the mother of his children, were down the hall during all of this. Now police sources have told the Daily News that he "was getting in everyone's face, frothing, paranoid, acting like a true [jerk]." Plus, he broke an Eloise suite chandelier, spattering blood all over the zebra carpet... innocence lost.

Sheen was taken to get a psychiatric evaluation (the cops gave him a choice of that or the station), and has agreed to pay $7,000 in damages. His spin man has said the whole ordeal was just "an adverse allergic reaction to some medication," and now Sheen (the highest paid man on television, by the way, making $1.8MM an episode) is speaking out. He told RadarOnline that he's fine, and "the story is totally overblown and overplayed as far as the reality of the scenario." So what really happened that got him to a naked, frothing state? He told the site, “I know what went down and that’s where it will stay... under wraps.” TMZ has photos of the room, and they certainly help his story—all you see are a bunch of pillows strewn about the bed! Where's the blood, the froth, the naked hooker tears?

Meanwhile, over at the Post, Linda Stasi attacks Hollywood for letting Sheen get away with attacking the fairer sex time and again, and some experts at the Daily News say it's unlikely Sheen will ditch the bad-boy act until he hits rock bottom. A psychiatrist at NYU told the paper, "the reality is, if he continues to do what he's doing, he'll be out of service permanently. When you're violent toward women that means you have deep-seated rage and anger. Until he resolves that, he's going to continue having problems."