Paladino To Make Mysterious Announcement on TV Today!

A week ago, Carl Paladino had a moment of divine inspiration: the NY gubernatorial campaign had been stricken with a severe case of poll frenzy. For a man who was used to forwarding bestiality videos, this would not suffice. So he started a fight with a NY Post reporter, and we all swooned. Theatrics were back! But now he faces that age old problem all the great entertainers have faced: how do you top that?

Paladino will attempt to top last week's finger-wagging performance with a mysterious "major" announcement on TV this evening. The broadcast is expected to happen at 5:13 pm, and is scheduled to appear on stations in Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse and Albany (and online). It will likely also be shown on Channel 12 on Long Island, plus Westchester Fox cable (Paladino is also reportedly trying to buy time on Fox statewide). All his other commitments and scheduled speeches for today were canceled, according to his campaign manager Michael Caputo.

But as for the substance of the speech, it's anyone's guess. According to sources who talked to the Daily News, Paladino may apologize for his recent accusations that Andrew Cuomo was unfaithful to his ex-wife, or he may do the opposite and "reveal" damning information about his opponent. Ever the consummate performer, Paladino wants to keep his fans guessing. The only thing for sure is that he's not dropping out of the race. Maybe he'll reveal that he can see dead people. Maybe he'll reveal that we can all see dead people, since he's already dead. Our best guess: a line-by-line recreation of the scene below, sweat-flop and all.

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By Ben Yakas in News on October 7, 2010 10:53 AM

Comments [rss]

John L

It's never been so much fun watching a ship sink.

Hopefully he'll announce that this was all just a joke to see how gullible people are and chastise NYers for even considering voting him.

Or maybe he'll announce that Satan just endorsed his campaign for governor.

Sketto

That dude is just creepy. Look at his face...and those eyes. Yikes. Reminds me of the nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark just before their faces started melting.

Spirit of 76

He'll announce Snooki as his running mate.

DanielJ

He'll announce that his whole campaign has been performance art.

hotstepper

Paladino is announcing that he is actually the zombie of Alan Alda, and as governor he will fight for the rights of NY's undead.

FelixtheCat & Christine Quinn'

PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSE VOTE FOR THE GREEN PARTY. NO CUOMO. he will drive the final nail on this state. look at what he did at HUD, he greatly contributed to the mortgage fiasco.

Stevennnn

What is Westchester Fox cable?

l3iodeez

I wonder if he is going to end his campaign. I know I would. We're probably going to find out something abou thte kinds of people in his employ.

Somehow I think this (below) is just the tip of the iceberg.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/29/nyregion/29advisers.html

TimSPC

He's going to announce that only his election can stop the violence of the Red Triangle gang.

thisisnotacure

For real? Screw this guy. According to the Quinnipiac University poll data released this morning, among eligible voters, Paladino is trailing Cuomo by...almost 20 points!

http://www.lohud.com/article/20101007/NEWS05/10070425/-1/newsfront/Slipping-in-polls--Paladino-to-make-statewide-address