Fox News Does Williamsburg

OHIO, IDAHO. Hipsters aren't from from Ohio. They are from Williamsburg. Alien figgots put them here. It's a plot to confuse gender roles and stop humans from breeding. Fox knows this. Hipsters style there hair like Hitler and dress like David Lee Roth. This combination lowers the libido, confounds and confuses. Must turn to Fox. Fox. Fox.

why argue about this matter? you'll all eventually end up in brooklyn -- there's a plenty of huge, inviting cemeteries there.

Fox News in Brooklyn?

Another reason to avoid that area.

DUMBO section:

"The neighborhood is now home to several artists and musicians who were attracted to the low rents and spacious lofts when the area became residential."

just several????????? hmmmm

LOL at the Park Slope section:

"Walk east from Grand Army Plaza to 7th Avenue and further over to 5th Avenue for shops, boutiques, restaurants and bars."

I hope a lot of Fox News viewers follow these instructions and spend an afternoon exploring Crown Heights, which is where those directions will actually take them. Should be fun for everyone.

Yeah. Right after going to Grand Army Plaza to visit the farmer's market on "early Sunday morning" - one day late. Almost seems like they're doing it on purpose. But that would be too sophisticated for them.

Everyone know that higher numbered Avenues are ALWAYS west of lower numbered avenues. I learned that in Manhattan and therefore it must apply to every single street grid on the planet - compass be damned. Any 5th ave is East of any 7th ave. Period.

Well, hilariously, even if that was true, it would still be wrong, because both 5th and 7th are west of Grand Army.

I guess so. But I bet their understanding of avenue order in manhattan likely influenced that mistake too. "over there I see 8th, then 7th, then 6th avenues. Therefore I am west of 8th here on Grand Army Plaza"

The NYTimes makes stupid Brooklyn mistakes, too. I remember a shooting on Stratford Road, which was called it "Stratford Avenue" in the NYTimes, cause hey, it runs north and south so it must be an Avenue, right? Also, the constant parrotting of made-up, real estate lingo neighborhood names and borders, and the entire narrative of neighborhood "discovery," or the emergence of "new" neighborhoods - as if the browner people living there first don't count as people or the earth magically produced more land for middle class and rich white people to live on.

That's probably true. Admittedly, I didn't think it through that far, I just like the idea of Fox News viewers following Fox News' advice and in so doing winding up lost in Crown Heights, confused by why everyone talks so loudly and says "son" so much.

Yeah, since when did Williamsburg and dumb hipsters become the representatives for all of Brooklyn? What about the stroller fascists in Park Slope? What about the Hasids? Don't they count?

read the whole thing smarty pants.

Why the fuck do you go to the "Williamsburg" section? I go there and don't even feel like I'm in Brooklyn half the time because of these pasty, attention-seeking little art figs from Ohio. They are nothing of Brooklyn and you should speak of other parts, please.

They probably skipped to the williamsburg section because it is the most comically inaccurate. Though there were errors in other sections of fox's write up as well.

What's an "art fig?" I know they grow lots of things in Ohio, but figs? I was unaware.

I think he means "fags" but REAL NEW YORKERS don't say that shit. You know who uses the word "figs"? Unamericans. ;)

I'm fine with saying fags, and NEVER have applied it to meaning gay people. I just can't write fag or faggots because half the time they delete the comment because they're ignorant about the fact that 90 percent of the people saying it are not referring to gay people.

What do you apply it to? British cigarettes? Bundles of wood?

You're just jealous that they are getting laid and you're not.

If you hate Williamsburg stay out of Williamsburg. Why go if you hate everyone there?

You owe $1.00 to the Mentioning Other States As Insults jar. Has anyone who spits out "Ohio" or "Idaho" as the worst possible places to be from actually BEEN there? Isn't that even worse than coming here from (gasp!) Ohio and having opinions on NYC, where they now live?

Let's not fight about different parts of Brooklyn. The Italians are part, the Russians are part, the Jews are part, the Hispanics are part, the Arabs are part, the Asians are all part of Brooklyn. No one section is "better" or "superior" to another. We're all human damn beings. Stop being a stuck-up jackwad.

I have NO PROBLEM with Ohio, they're fine places, my point is the OHIO being injected into BROOKLYN. Duh!

Yeah it's terrible when new people move into NYC. Everyone should go back to where they came from.

On the basis of 2 posts here, Robingee wins the humorless twit of the day award. Your prize of a chrome-plated panty unbuncher is available at Gothamist's office.

Go back to Ohio, which I assume is a terrible place that you are from.

Can't wait to read their guide to The Bronx!

Sarcasm from a transplant who's never been to The Bronx save for an ironic trip to Yankee Stadium or the Zoo? Whodathunkit. If you'd leave Bedford Avenue one in a while you'd actually find that a glowing review of the Bronx is easily attainable. But, that would require a modicum of reporting, so...

you seem to have missed the joke.

try again next time.

What's ironic about going to Yankee Stadium?

hahahahhahahahahahaa

"walk over to Old Fulton Street to Grimaldi’s (19 Old Fulton, 718-858-4300). There’s always a long line at this popular pizza place, but it’s worth the wait"

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha