Man To Spend 5 Days In NYC Bathroom

Move over, David Blaine. This guy Mark Malkoff is attempting the unthinkable! He's going to live in his New York City bathroom for five days. He claims this is to combat his internet addiction, so he won't be bringing his iPhone or laptop in with him—he will, however, be bringing with him this list of things to accomplish during his stay.

read “Gravity’s Rainbow”
memorize all U.S. Presidents in order
memorize the location of every country in the world
write letters to family and friends telling them I love them
learn how to sew on a button
finish book proposal
read friend’s screenplay
memorize the Sermon on the Mount
learn how to knit
finger paint
write a list for his wife, “99 Reasons I Love My Wife”
learn how to play “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” on guitar

He'll start his lock-in on August 23rd at 11:30 a.m., and won't be coming out for 120 hours; he tells us his wife "is not thrilled" about this (hopefully they have two bathrooms!). The experience will somehow be documented visually, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, if you had to spend five days in your bathroom, what would you bring with you?

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Jen Carlson in Arts and Events on August 23, 2010 1:15 PM

Comments [rss]

Bike Rider

i suppose if i had enough coke i could stay in the bathroom forever

MsNola

I don't understand why people are so angry. I think the American mindset of gogogo in so embedded into our lives that we fail to take two seconds nevermind five days for ourselves. Think about all the time you waste watching TV or going on Facebook, so this guy is taking five sayings and saying fuck off world im doing this for ME. I think everybody should start taking more time for themselves. If you don't what's the point of living.

and yes there are many more important issues so why don't you all start working on them.

whitecastlerock

With a headline as catchy as that, I thought this was going to be an article about the Shake Shack...

Spirit of 76

What, no mention of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer decided he liked to basically live in his shower and tub? I thought Gothamist loved Seinfeld. You guys are slipping.

militza

this isn't very newsworthy. however, if he was spending it in one of the bathrooms of the St. Marks hotel then that's a different story

jaycjay

"write a list for his wife, “99 Reasons I Love My Wife”"

If she has any sense, she'll compile her own list: "One Reason I Am Leaving My Husband."

rbeshenk

More interesting if he spent 5 days without a bathroom... And picked tasks the average 11 year old can't accomplish.

Mr. Know-It-All

I was so looking forward to the comments on this story. Thank you Gothamisti for not disappointing!

Bakey

He looks like an anorexic cross between Adam Lambert and Jerry Lundegaard from Fargo.

Cannibal

Human filth DOES belong in the bathroom...

1stephanie

Re: "finish book proposal"

Is his book going to be how he spent 5 days in the can? I hope he gets MRSA while hanging out in there.

Guest

It'll take him all of two minutes to learn how to play "Every Rose..." on the guitar.

Guest

it'll take less than two minutes for mr. malkoff to get the fuck outta there if someone had to go #2 in the bathroom.

speaking of which, feel a little bloated... where is this?

UpperEastSighed

Will he learn the difference between "it's" and "its" in the bathroom, too?

JayNYC

...in related news, an much as 14% of the American population is out of work and WISHES it had the time and capacity for stupidity to sit in a bathroom for days at a time trolling for fame on the blogosphere.

Sadly, I predict this guy will pop-up on Good Morning America and/or the Today Show and receive instant if not enduring fame and fortune.

ktinnyc

If unemployed people don't have the time to sit in a bathroom for hours on end then who does?

chief slapaho

hey gothamist, my neighbor in bushwick weighs 400lbs or so, hasn't left her apt in at least 3 weeks and i think probably sleeps in the tub. that would be a better story than this dipshit acting like he's do the world a favor or some shit for sitting in the bathroom. I'll smash a laptop over his thick skull, that should cure him of his internet addiction.