Snooki Will Drink Only At Night, Pen "Snooktionary"

As if "GTL" isn't already permanently etched into every American's vocabulary right now, Jersey Shore starlet Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi says she will write a "Snooktionary," to help viewers understand "what the hell I'm saying [on the show] cause nobody knows." She gave a sneak peak of what would appear at a press conference yesterday, introducing the verb "To Snook." "I'm just Snookin," she said. "Snookin' is when I'm looking for a guy. If I Snook the night, I took the night." This is just what the Smurfs did, right?

In the wake of her recent incarceration, Snooki has also decided to make some life changes. She told the Post, "I need to calm down with drinking. I can't be drinking in the middle of the day." Her arrest also upset the rest of the Snooki clan. She said Papa Snooki was "very, very pissed. He was like, 'I didn't raise you like this.'"

Meanwhile, Bob Herbert is weeping over at the Times about a generation "that is more interested in hip-hop and Lady Gaga than educating its young." The U.S. ranks 12th out of 36 developed nations for the percentage of the population with college degrees, and Herbert says people like Snooki are to blame. "We no longer know how to put our people to work. We read less and less and write like barbarians. We’ve increasingly turned our backs on the very idea of hard-won excellence while flinging open the doors to decadence and decline. No wonder Lady Gaga and Snooki from “Jersey Shore” are cultural heroes." He thinks it's barbaric, but maybe the country is just switching to SED (Snooki English Dictionary) usage.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Jaya Saxena in Arts & Entertainment on August 7, 2010 12:50 PM

Comments [rss]

DragonBando

Bob Herbert at the Times is blaming Snooki for Americans not wanting to work give me a break. Maybe he should be blaming President Obama and his vision for an entitlement society!!!!

robingee

Who thinks they are entitled? People who are unemployed and need money to survive? People who need health care but have no insurance?

Matthew

Execute this human waste of life.

robingee

Shut your snookhole.

John L

"The U.S. ranks 12th out of 36 developed nations for the percentage of the population with college degrees," what a sad commentary on America.

But it shouldn't surprise us, in a few years we'll probably fall to 15th place and continue our downward spiral.

Is it any wonder that a country that will only give a disadvantaged 18 year old a maximum of $3,000 to go to college (which could very well be viewed as an investment since his earning potential and therefore tax burden should increase in the future) but will without hesitation spend $30,000-$40,000 to keep in him/her incarcerated for even a first time drug offense, will have less and less college graduates.

Bigotry and racism will be this country's demise. This world is increasingly becoming more and more globalized. It's no longer local workers competing other local workers, we're competing against workers all over the world and since we cannot compete on wages all that's left is technical skills than require college degrees. But while other countries seem to understand that, we sit here in America divided, trying to keep each other down. Keeping certain Americans from getting an education will destroy this country, there is no reason that in a country like America any young person ready, willing, and able to learn should not get all the help possible. When we systematically keep a subset of the population down we are keeping America, as a whole down, and pretty soon we won't even be able to compete on a global level.

Imagine if we hadn't spent a trillion dollars ($1,000,000,000,000) on these stupid wars. Imagine if we had reinvested that into education in this country. Imagine how many more doctors, lawyers, computer programmers, businessmen and women, could've graduated in the ten years we've been in Afghanistan.

What a different America we'd be.

DragonBando

The wars imagine if we were not bankrupting the country with free health care to lazy people mostly minorities who refuse to work and just want free stuff. This is all the result of a radical president who doesn't care about the country but a communist vision.

TheTruthYouSeek

STOP. FUCKIN. WRITING. ABOUT. THIS.

TellMeAgain

Losers, all of them, and the fact they're getting paid doesn't change anything. Dumb as dirt and clueless about it. Do you think they'll brag about this and want their grandchildren to see the show when they're old and grey? No don't think so.

jjazznola

WTF is GTL? Everyone seems to think these idiots on this show are total trash but someone must be watching which would make them even bigger losers than those on the show - at least they are getting paid!

jaycjay

First time I ever heard of "GTL" was in a Jen Carlson Gothamist story a couple of weeks ago. I had to Google it.

Kinda funny that the Gothamist staffers assume that "every American" cares as deeply about "Snooki" and her ilk as they do.