Your Semi-NSFW Guide to the Puppetry of the Penis Auditions

Hold on to your foreskins, fellas, because this could be your big break... Or maybe "break" isn't quite the right word? At any rate, The Puppetry of the Penis—that show where two dudes make elaborate origami with their genitals for a paying audience—is looking for new, um, talent! They're holding open auditions for their new show, and you've got just two weeks to rehearse! Luckily, we've gotten our hands on detailed illustrations showing you the various penis maneuvers you'll need to perform to get the gig. These include "The Wristwatch," "The Loch Ness Monster," "The Eiffel Tower," and (our favorite) "The Hamburger." Check out the semi-NSFW instructions below, and get ready to knock the competition's dick in the dirt at the auditions:

The latest version of the show, which opens tonight at The Green Room Theater at 45 Bleeker Street, features "forty astonishing, now-iconic penis installations including the Pelican and The Windsurfer, plus a handful of breathtaking new installations, like Yoda, Sombrero, and E.T." If you think you've got the right junk, the casting call will take place Tuesday, July 27th from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. at The Green Room Theater at 45 Bleeker. Those who wish to audition must RSVP to puppetryauditions2010@gmail.com, and type the email using only their Johnsons.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By John Del Signore in Arts and Events on July 13, 2010 1:21 PM

Comments [rss]

Cannibal

what about the "sleeping injun" or the "Adam Lambert"?

And how could you possibly leave out the "disemboweled squirrel" or the "Pink Floyd The Wall Laser Light Experience at Hayden Planetarium"????

r1b2

Anti-semites.

Hugh7

97% of US circumcision is not Jewish.

Wza

lol!

btw..congrats on no double post!

haha!

theboneranger

you guys forgot the "swollen thumb" and the "look i've got gum stuck to my leg".

i'd share "the jungle gym" and "the cat's cradle" with guys but i cant post photos

thefacts

They neglected "The Sausage" aka "The Weiner".

Pull on and extend the foreskin, and have your girlfriend blow into it until it starts to expand like a balloon.

Then, with her mouth still maintaining an airtight seal, get a piece of string, tie it tightly on the end of the foreskin and walk around with the fattest chubby imaginable.

We actually tried this at a dinner party, and the guests loved it.

Casey

Seriously, gothamist?

Now I need fucking whiskey.

r1b2

A quarter bottle of Chivas, perhaps?

r1b2

A quarter bottle of Chivas, perhaps?

Cannibal

No animation?

I am going to try these on my man when he falls aleep

RoboticInsides

Foreskin required? If so, would that lead to calls of discrimination.

Hugh7

Um, penis required, so ...

Hugh7

And it's discriminating to pick tall people for basketball?

fuboy

Huh. Apparently, I was a revolutionary artist at 11, decades ahead of my time.

Either that or these clowns ran out of balloons and are forced to improvise. I want to go to this show and shout "Make me a poodle!"

Jen S

Poof! You're a poodle.

fuboy

Hah! Well played, ma'am, well played.

MT

The Eiffel Tower must only be a trick if you don't have foreskin.

Nyctini11

I was thinkin you'd need foreskin to "pull" that one off...does that mean circumcised guys can't even try out?

hotstepper

what no Batwing?!

"oooh it's so veiny!"

AYCE

nothing beats the goat!

ides_of_march

What a load of revolting garbage passing as "the arts." Did they get an NEA grant for this trash?

John Del Signore

Philistine. America: Love it or leave it!

ides_of_march

Not wanting to watch a bunch of guys play with their dicks and balls makes one a Philistine eh? Fine, I'm a philistine then.

It's just gay porn you pretentious twit.

Guest

Gay porn is an art form, so it's still "the arts".

hotstepper

just remember who clicked the link to get you here, funboy.

it just goes to show that some men are more comfortable with their sexuality than others. don't be afraid of what god made you.

ides_of_march

Nice try. Playing with your genitals on stage, or watching others do it, that's your definition of being comfortable with one's sexuality? More like a form of sexual dementia. Having said that, as long as it's only consenting adults on stage and in the audience, go ahead, enjoy the freak show.

dept54321

Congratulations, you're outraged. Problem is, no one gives a shit.

hotstepper

back again? you seem to really like this story.

lighten up, whip it out, and enjoy the penis party. don't worry, many notable conservative men enjoy this type of fun too!

Mr. Know-It-All

They just got pissed off when they tried the wristwatch and couldn't get it all the way around.

hotstepper

ha!

fuboy

Men comfortable with their sexuality is one thing. A man making balloon animals with his penis is another. And I don't consider it art, I consider it a parlor trick. The kind of thing a girlfriend would roll her eyes at if you tried it at home.

Anyone who chooses to spend the $39-100 on a ticket is a moron.