"Tits On A Stick": Sexy Banker Had Two Boob Jobs

Lorenzana then and now

Some ledes just can't be improved upon, so we're not going to bother tampering with the Daily News's opening line in their vital latest report on the sexy banker: "Turns out those assets are inflated." Just when you thought (hoped?) the story of buxom banker Debrahlee Lorenzana was running out of steam, the tabloid turned up a four-part Discovery Health Channel series chronicling Lorenzana's search for a plastic surgeon. It's unclear what this has to do with her legal action against Citigroup, but who cares when we've got our hot heroine saying stuff like, "That's what I want to be: tits on a stick."

Other gems: "Once you get it done once, you have to get it done twice, why not?" Also: "I love plastic surgery. I think it is the best thing that ever happened." Indeed, she loves it so much she's had four procedures done: a tummy tuck, liposuction, and two breast enhancement procedures, performed to give Lorenzana her desired "huge, double-D, very perky" breasts. The Discovery show features Lorenzana at age 26 and on a "determined manhunt" to find a mate with "the looks of a George Clooney or Ben Affleck. He'll be happy because I'll be looking like a little Playboy Playmate."

Cut to 2010: Lorenzana's a 33-year-old single mom working overtime to publicize her dispute with Citigroup (she says they fired her because supervisors found her appearance too distracting). Responding to questions about her plastic surgery, lawyer Jack Tuckner tells the News, "Whatever her assets are, they don't have a right to comment on them or objectify her." But the media does have a right to keep using her case as an excuse to publish provocative photos of Lorenzana. As this Bloomberg News editorial observes, "The Lorenzana complaint... after languishing in the bowels of a New York courthouse for six months, got legs—and breasts and buttocks—only after the Voice published those pictures."

To help you sort through your feelings on all of this, Runnin' Scared has aggregated a servicey guide to the six different Debrahlee Lorenzana Facebook pages, to help you decide which group to join. Get involved, people—so far this is all we've got this summer, at least until the sharks start attacking (that is, if any survive that bummer oil spill story).

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By John Del Signore in News on June 9, 2010 9:33 AM

Comments [rss]

Potty Boy

We need an update on this...

augustojr

Full video of the Discovery Health Show, um yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LhsEWMFeIQ

FelixtheCat & Christine Quinn'

lol playboy playmate,

RevWaldo

This blows her entire Jessica Rabbit defense. But the real problem is how this massive fact got by the Village Voice. Recognized its not the paper it once was, although it still has some fine reporting. Sure this whole story is a bit of fluff, but is it too much trouble to delve, to vet just a little, instead of replying on your basic one-side-said-this-the-other-side-said-that type of reporting?

wobbleSmith

whatever, at least this summer's version of the pug lady is a lot more attractive.

oh chrissie, wherefor art thou?

or is she the new hipster grifter?

gothamist trends are confusing...

Clarice City

"Tits on a stick"

Truly spoken like a defender of women's dignity suing "for all the womens out there".

Isn't all this excessive money spent on plastic surgery and clothes better spent on her child?

ur doing it rong

I'd hit it

Guest

don't hit "it" too hard -- it might break or in the worst case scenario, fall out.

Manitoba

noice.

just saying

Poor Debrahlee has been busted again.

Potty Boy

What are her chances of getting melonoma?

SP

Fake boobs look good but they don't feel right. Too hard, not enough give.

robingee

Smaller natural boobs are so much more attractive than big fake ones!

JenChungsBaby

"This is just how I am naturally, I can't help it."

Liar, liar.

militza

glad there are natural boob fans out there!

FelixtheCat & Christine Quinn'

and she said she wished she was plain so she could have a job without harassment, The suit is over. She should have kept her big mouth shut.

fuboy

This story just keeps getting more painful to watch. From the Daily news on her 2003 Discovery Channel special: "Her ultimate goal, she says, is to be a cross between Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra." So, talentless barbies that are only known for large cleavage and provocative dress.

For the past seven years, at least, it appears that all she cares about is her looks. It's how she chooses to find her mate and it's how she estimates her own value. I'm not seeing anything beyond obsessive narcissism. If that's how you want to live your life, fine. Go into a field that values that type of beauty. Like B-grade movies or porn.

So I say to you: put a cork it you self-important plastic plaything. I don't want to hear my toys speak unless I pull the string.

Mordicai

I already know what camp I'm in; the "I can't believe the misogynistic crap people think is okay to say outloud & I really wish Gothamist would stop reporting on this now" camp. Is there a Facebook group for that?

Mr. Shankly

You never got laid trying to comp that womyns studies course, did you.

Mordicai

Hahah it is funny because associating with women is DIRTY! Oh man you tagged me bro, you really nailed me that time you insinuated that I might take women seriously. What a sick burn! Snnnnnap!